Question

I have a question for the people who have been traumatised to some extent from their OCD experience. How do you not be scared of it? For me, OCD took away all those things I hold most dear with "I don't deserve" thoughts. This included emotions such as love, excitement or just feeling happy. All these things are what I turned to in the past to deal with highly stressful events and now I suddenly didn't deserve them. The anxiety that came with this was horrific. 6 months after the flare I still haven't gotten over the fear, I have a relapse and I relive it all over again. How do I not be scared of it?

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

I’m dealing with this right now.. the trauma of severe OCD. About two years ago I had an extreme episode of OCD (after it being dormant for about 15 years). Those were by far the most terrifying, awful months of my life and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I recovered but am experiencing a bit of a relapse again stemming from that trauma - my new theme, fear of OCD relapsing to the extent it did before and being back in that place. I’m getting through it, and there are a few things I learned last time that help me. 1. When I was at my darkest I felt like I might never feel joy, or peace, or anything positive ever again. After fighting that fear for a long time, I faced it and asked myself - what if you never feel joy or peace again? Then what? Then I wanted my life to have a positive impact in ways that were important to me. Although I couldn’t control my thoughts and fears, I could control my actions. So I took a look at things that had formerly been meaningful to me and in line with my values - doing things that made my dogs happy, my nephews happy, and volunteering. Even if I didn’t feel good anymore I could help someone else feel happy. That gave me some meaning that OCD could never take away. 2. Instead of trying not to be afraid, I allowed myself to be afraid BUT refused to let OCD dictate my actions. I did the things that were important to me (or had been before OCD confused the shit out of me). I refuse to allow OCD to stop me from living. That helped take away some of its power. 3. This

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous 3. This all takes me to number 3 - moving through this time in a way I can look back on and be proud of. This has been huge for me. No matter how awful OCD makes me feel, I alone control my actions. If I can get through this in a way I can look back on and be proud of, that is enough. Take care 💛 Wishing you peace.

Nate_093

Date posted: 1y

That's exactly my situation, finally a fellow trauma buddy. How do you combat the OCD trying to automatically suppress happy emotions?. Whenever I feel something nice, it's almost like my head clicks and says I don't deserve to feel that. I'm not sure if you've had something like this?

noneuclidean

Date posted: 1y

@Nate_093 I’ve definitely experienced this. Usually for me it goes, “you don’t deserve to feel good because maybe you harmed people in the past. You’d better check.” I deal with it by not arguing with it. “Maybe I don’t deserve to feel good. Maybe not. But I’m going to be in the present moment.” Then I go back to doing whatever made me happy to begin with.

Nate_093

Date posted: 1y

@noneuclidean It's hard, I struggle to enjoy the simple pleasures in life like going for a walk without the OCD cutting in. It's so natural for me to fight the thoughts, I've had OCD for almost 30 years, I'm having a hard time trying to change that habit lol

mental Warrior

Date posted: 23w

Who even is the person I was before OCD?!

The things that used to make me happy? The things that used to make me sad? I don't know how to connect with those anymore. I used to be happy just looking at the sunset and nature, I loved being present in the moment but now being present in the moment is scary because now I'm faced with my thoughts and new potential ones so I'd rather distract myself. I love kballads and I used to listen to them and just cry and be happy because they sound so beautiful but now I can't embrace these things that feel like beauty because I feel like the exact opposite. The only things I can enjoy are K-drama's! But I can't watch things with kids in it. So yah that's tricky! And the things that make me sad?! Well I used to be sad and terrified about loosing my loved ones but now it's a different kind of sad. I used to be sad because of miss them and all that but now I'm scared of facing now messed up my emotions have become. I'm scared of loosing someone I love and then not being able to feel sad because I'm just numb, or even worse...if it becomes something I'm okay with or what if OCD convinces me that I'm happy about it because honestly it would be weird moving around the world with such emotions. So not only has OCD made it hard for me to enjoy the good things but also hard for me to feel sad about the sad things or just to put it short...to experience emotions normally.

flyana

Date posted: 23w

Where did my confidence go?

I am struggling to feel like I deserve any of the confidence I used to have. I’ve done a lot of pretty cool stuff in my life, and I used to think it was impressive. I was so proud, and I would light up when others gave me compliments. Now, it feels like all a lie, and I can’t stop thinking everyone would hate me if they knew the terrible things I’ve thought or said or done. I make art, for example, and I’ve had a lot of success with it. But now, I feel like others would troll me or destroy my work, and then tell everyone that anything I touch is trash. Basically, I fear being bullied for the mistakes of my past — or even just for my thoughts. My therapist keeps telling me I’m completely normal and I’m the only one beating myself up, but my OCD says, “No, she’s wrong — you should stop pursuing your dreams and push away anyone who likes you, because they’ll all hate you eventually.” I know it’s ridiculous, but it feels so real. Anyone have advice for rebuilding confidence in the face of OCD?

SunnyAnon

Date posted: 23w

dealing with OCD flashbacks 18+

i currently am getting over my period and have been having a horrible flashbacks from some real events. it’s a amalgamation of all of the horrible things i did as a child/young teenager. all of it associated with p0rnography + sexual activities i did. i was exposed to sexual activity very young and it lead me down a dark path. i’ve had OCD forever it seems. it’s hard because i can see that i’ve had OCD symptoms since childhood but i constantly doubt wether or not my actions where because of OCD or something i genuinely wanted/was attracted to. i can’t seem to differentiate the two and it’s scaring me. i’m worried i was genuinely into the kind of stuff and it’s constantly flashing in my mind the last two days of things i compulsively did years ago. to be absolutely clear it has been years since i’ve even thought about those taboo things or saw anything of that sort. i’m talking 5 or 6 years give or take. it still feels like yesterday. in recent years i’ve completely pulled away from p0rn and now find it and s3x a lot less appealing. but every so often i get these intense flashbacks on things i did or saw or thought and it puts everything on hold. everything im interested in gets but on the back burner in fear of my intrusive thoughts being thrown into the mix. currently experiencing that now. im mortified of ruining everything i love because of these stupid thoughts. does anyone have any advice or experience with this specifically and have any tips???

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Question

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community