anybody else starting somewhere new in the next few days? school, work, etc? im starting at a new school and sweet baby jesus im nervous obviously im a little nervous about what people i’ll be meeting and what the next few weeks are gonna be like but mostly im afraid of being afraid, ugh! i think thats the essence of panic disorder, right? when i panic i feel like throwing up (never do, just feels like it) and so im afraid of the panic attacks because i feel sick (and i have a fear of vomiting) whenever i fear panicking, ive obviously already started the panicky reaction, duh! and then i worry about worrying myself into a panic attack! i could keep going! i just really want to have a good first day, man, just with the general amount of jitters everyone has. i dont think im the only one that feels like this hahahaha.

About the beginning to middle of February I went into the doctor and requested to see a counselor. I’m starting to see a counselor about anxiety in a few days and I’m extremely nervous. I’m nervous my counselor is going to say I have to break up with my bf otherwise I’ll be stuck with ocd for the rest of my life. I’m nervous my counselor is going to think I’m crazy and not know anything about ocd. I’m nervous my counselor is going to tell my aunt how crazy and messed up I am because my aunt works in the clinic I’m going to therapy at, and if she tells my aunt everyone in my family may find out. I’m nervous I’m going to hell because I’m going to counseling and not fully leaning on God instead to fix it all for me. I’m nervous I’m a bad Christian for going to therapy and not believing Jesus is going to fix it all. I’m nervous that my future is ruined because of my mental health. I’m worried that my boyfriend is going to break up with me because I’m too much to handle and too anxious. I’m just scared for my future because of my ocd and because I am not as passionate about my faith as I used to be so I feel like I’m gonna go to hell for that or like my sister is going to die because of her seizures because of my ocd. Idk I’m so scared.

I’ve been my job for almost 2 years now and I can not shake the constant worry that I am going to do something to mess it up. I’m constantly checking things over and over to make sure they’re correct to the point where I almost don’t believe my own eyes anymore. Everyday I go home with something to be anxious about. Today me and a coworker got in a bit of a tiff and I can’t stop thinking about it (even though I was totally right to be upset 🤣) everyday I play out fake scenarios that may happen because of what I said or did. Occasionally I will worry if I had written something inappropriate on the work I turn in. There’s no amount of reassurance that can make me stop worrying and I’m not sure what to do anymore. I’m new here and would love some suggestions!

I am feeling a lot of anxiety and fear around what I know and what I don’t know. I also just had some a French vanilla coffee so I think this made it worse. And I should have known better. I realize I am really uncomfortable about what is out of control to the point I am very scared and nervous and I don’t know what it is about. Every time I journal I feel a strong urge to through the journal away and get a new one, in the same way every choice and decision I make it is out of fear and uncomfortableness not because it is my actual decision. So now I feel like more than ever ocd is controlling my life even though I know that what it is and that it is not something to be afraid of but I stilll constantly doubt and judge myself. I officially got diagnosed I was not sure before but what is the first step to taking back control over your life and yourself? I am on the waiting list for therapy but also I wish I could go to therapy sooner but I want someone I know I will work well with and I don’t want to rush thing because I know I will not do well at making such a big step in my own because I will overthink it so I just want to get myself to a point where I can do important things like that for myself. With school coming up I am even more stressed and worried about making the right decisions. Any tips? I would appreciate it. Also can anyone relate to this confusion and this dilemma with making important dedication like getting help and going to the doctor? Any did it make it hard to navigate school?