- Date posted
- 1y
Do I have OCD and how can I find a therapist? Pls help...
Trigger warning: my existential thoughts about ,,Solipsism" After having a stressful phase two and a half years ago I researched about the meaning of life. In a forum somebody wrote ,,what is the meaning of life when I don't even I know if other people are real". After that I made up the theory that many eternal sadistic gods or only one evil god chose to only create me as a sentient/real being, making everyone else an unconscious robot. I am deeply scared that one day those higher beings will reveal themselves to me that I am indeed the only sentient being. I am also afraid that I will exist for all eternity by myself (because those higher beings/gods want me to suffer due to their evil nature). They purposely give me love now (through my parents, sister etc.) so that one day they will take away everything (they will tell me everything beautiful I have experienced was an illusion.) Only I and these gods exist (no biblical god additionaly). Furthermore, I would like to say that I don't believe in it 100%, but I have a great fear of it because it could theoretically be true. I have been dealing with depression for two and a half years and as a result, I quit work and social activities. Is it still considered OCD if I don't constantly obsess over it but still find myself unable to move forward in life because my fear prevents me from doing so until I have an answer to that question? Does anybody know a therapist that is familiar with topics like existence, philosophy etc..? Best reagards, Betty