Betty1102

Date posted: 2y

Do I have OCD and how can I find a therapist? Pls help...

Trigger warning: my existential thoughts about ,,Solipsism" After having a stressful phase two and a half years ago I researched about the meaning of life. In a forum somebody wrote ,,what is the meaning of life when I don't even I know if other people are real". After that I made up the theory that many eternal sadistic gods or only one evil god chose to only create me as a sentient/real being, making everyone else an unconscious robot. I am deeply scared that one day those higher beings will reveal themselves to me that I am indeed the only sentient being. I am also afraid that I will exist for all eternity by myself (because those higher beings/gods want me to suffer due to their evil nature). They purposely give me love now (through my parents, sister etc.) so that one day they will take away everything (they will tell me everything beautiful I have experienced was an illusion.) Only I and these gods exist (no biblical god additionaly). Furthermore, I would like to say that I don't believe in it 100%, but I have a great fear of it because it could theoretically be true. I have been dealing with depression for two and a half years and as a result, I quit work and social activities. Is it still considered OCD if I don't constantly obsess over it but still find myself unable to move forward in life because my fear prevents me from doing so until I have an answer to that question? Does anybody know a therapist that is familiar with topics like existence, philosophy etc..? Best reagards, Betty

Nica

Date posted: 2y

You’re in the right place to find a therapist for OCD diagnosis! Click on the “therapy” button in the middle of the lower part of the app. Or you can get started on NOCD’s website too.

AdamLeonard94

Date posted: 2y

Yes this certainly sounds like OCD. I overcame my existential themes when I accepted that I would never know the meaning of life and that it’s my experience of life – whatever that may be – that matters. Go on with actually living your life and that will be its meaning

Betty1102

Date posted: 2y

Thank you for your answer! Unfortunately, I gave up:( and I am unable to accept the fact that I don't have an answer to my question. But is it possible for you to reach out to me via instagram (@cindyyx68) I have a couple of questions about existential ocd and how to find a therapist...

AdamLeonard94

Date posted: 2y

I’d rather talk here if that’s okay – it’s a safe space for OCD chat. I wouldn’t worry about finding a therapist that knows a lot about philosophy because philosophy isn’t the problem – OCD is the problem

AdamLeonard94

Date posted: 2y

@AdamLeonard94 It sometimes feels like our themes are special but they aren’t. They’re all the same at heart: something that scares us which we try to solve through compulsive behaviour or rumination

AdamLeonard94

Date posted: 2y

@AdamLeonard94 I used to pray at night ‘God make me a man and not a machine’ I was so scared I didn’t have some sort of soul. And one day I realised it didn’t matter. This life is what it is and we can’t figure it out. It isn’t up to us

AdamLeonard94

Date posted: 2y

@AdamLeonard94 I promise one day you will look back on this and wonder why it worried you so much

Betty1102

Date posted: 2y

@AdamLeonard94 - Sure, no problem that sounds great! I am new on NOCD, I didn't know you could properly chat on here. I am really looking forward to start therapy. I live in Germany and getting a therapist can take up to a year...I am suffering since 2020 and I am ,,paralyzed", because I can't continue with my life while I have the fear that other people might not be real. Also interesting fact you told me ,,I wouldn’t worry about finding a therapist that knows a lot about philosophy because philosophy isn’t the problem – OCD is the problem" Thank you for your words I hope that I will recover soon, my life is horrible all I do is lay in bed...

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

That sounds really dark and depressing. :( No wonder you're feeling depressed. I don't know of a therapist in particular who has knowledge of this specifically, but all themes are dealt with the same way with ERP, from contamination to harm to existential OCD. Technically any OCD therapist should be able to help you with ERP. But, you could ask your therapist if they have had experience with such obsessions in the past when you see them. And I wouldn't think an obsession has to be constant to be considered ERP, but I'm not a professional. And I'm sorry that it has disturbed your life in such a way. Are you currently seeing a therapist with NOCD, or are you able to?

Betty1102

Date posted: 2y

Thank you so much for your support! Currently I am not seeing a therapist but hopefully soon, I hope it all works out.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@Betty1102 If you are unable to see a therapist with NOCD, don't give up! You can still search for other OCD therapists. For instance, you could look at the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) website, where they have a section to search for nearby therapists. Just keep in mind, if you see a therapist that doesn't specialize in OCD when you do actually have OCD, they might give you improper treatment or information. Basically, don't just listen to whatever one person says just because they are a therapist if you really believe they are wrong. You'll be fine. Good luck, buddy! :)

Betty1102

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous - I appreciate your comment. I live in Germany and I feel like there aren't as many ocd specialists in my area. But I'm glad NOCD is giving the opportunity for patients all around the world:) Also what you said is important, because my psychiatrist is not ocd specialized and she is telling me that I have psychosis, but all her anti psychotic medication didn't help me and when this all started I actually got diagnosed with ocd. I don't know who to believe and I really don't know what I have, I just hope something will help me...

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@Betty1102 I hope you will find what helps you! It may take time, so please try to have patience and grace with yourself. It is possible there aren't as many OCD therapists near you, but it's worth checking out. You may be able to find one far away but who is still Germany-based and who will allow you to see them through virtual meetings. But the IOCDF website is just a recommendation in case you can't see one through NOCD for whatever reason.

Betty1102

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous - Yes, thank you!:)

mandiocd

Date posted: 24w

Please help. Existential ocd

I’m an ICU nurse and I’m so close to quitting my job. My existential OCD is so bad. Like I said I’m an ICU nurse and take care of my Alzheimer’s grandma full time, she lives with me. I really can’t afford to go to treatment but I think I might have to go inpatient . My existential ocd is so so bad that it is telling me life is meaningless. It’s not even a question. I’ve lost all insight as I truly believe this to be true. I’m too logical for religion. I’m a double science major. Please. If anyone could help me. I’m struggling so bad. Is this existential ocd even tho I’m convinced life is meaningless? Why are we here? And for what? Please help me. My grandma needs md and I feel like I might need to leave

Anonymous

Date posted: 21w

Solipsism/existential OCD, ERP therapy ideas?

Suffering from solipsism ocd where I think that everything around me is fake and that I’m stuck in a simulation as the only conscious being. I also have thoughts that there is a higher power that is controlling everything around me and that I’m the main character in a video game. Everyone and everything around me is an npc or generated to keep me in the “game”. This is the worst ocd theme that I’ve had to deal with thus far. Is there anybody else that has had this? and what ERP techniques can I use? Need some ideas. Thanks.

Ella Weeks

Date posted: 7w

Existential OCD- Seeking advice

Hello lovely community, I’m curious if anyone else has dealt with existential OCD, especially with a fear of life having no meaning. My biggest compulsion is doing something meaningful and checking if I feel different, like happy or elated or fulfilled, which usually leads me to feel the opposite. How do I prevent compulsions that are so automatic? Even if I’m just making jokes or hanging out with friends, I’ll automatically check how I’m feeling. I worry often that my OCD will get “worse” and become unmanageable. I’ll often check my emotions or thoughts or feelings to see how my OCD is in that moment, to see if its getting worse or better, which leads me to constantly be on high alert and very aware of my thoughts and feelings. I’ll also avoid doing things I love or overindulge to check my emotions. Any advice would be appreciated :)

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