Remember, please.

The need to remember everything is really difficult for me. My friend told me a funny story last night and it made me laugh because the thing she told me about ALSO took place in a book I’ve read. I mentioned it to my husband and was like “you’ve done that!” And he was like….”no I haven’t?” So I’m triggered by the idea that he doesn’t remember. Is my memory that wrong? Did it happen and he just doesn’t remember? This isn’t the first time this has happened - it happens all the time. And I get lost in the rabbit hole of “am I crazy” or “did it happen with someone else?” Or anything like that. I know that no one remembers everything but this part of my OCD means that I have to verify my memory with everyone. I know this is OCD and I have to sit with the feelings but it also sucks.

Username: pureolifepureolife

Date posted: 1y ago

Memories are highly flawed. There are so many studies about how if a group of people is asked to retell an event, even right after it happens, that you will get a bunch of variance. And not just small details but huge ones. Maybe it happened. Maybe it didn’t. Maybe your brain combined a few different memories or maybe his did. By ruminating about it, checking again and again, asking for reassurance, etc, you’re just engaging in compulsions and they’re not going to bring you closer to the truth, they’re going to take you farther away. Say to yourself “maybe it happened as I remembered but maybe not. I don’t need to know with any more certainty than I already have in this moment.” And just sit with only being as certain as you are.

Username: stardust9stardust9

Date posted: 1y ago

I have been going through this too - the constant need to verify my memories to fight with my false memory OCD is so overwhelming. Yet despite the efforts I put into it, I just feel more debilitated...I end up questioning everything again: even the fact that I have OCD. My mind goes on rollercoaster that pushes me to believe I am my mind and everything it tells me. And it keeps telling me - stop making excuses you have OCD, what if you don't have OCD and you are just a bad person that deserves to feel miserable.

Username: stardust9stardust9

Date posted: 1y ago

I have been trying to just sit with the anxiety. I keep repeating to myself I have OCD and I should accept it. Then I try to distract myself. Doesn't always work but acknowledging I have a problem is always the first step. I'm currently reading 'Brain Lock' by Jeffery M. Schwartz. Insightful...

Username: AdamLeonard94AdamLeonard94

Date posted: 1y ago

There’s no such thing as perfect recall; memory is an imaginative process. You must accept that you can’t 100% remember anything but trust that you’ll remember what truly matters in your life. The risk is that by ruminating too much you’ll miss out on new experiences which will one day become beautiful memories. Stop engaging with OCD and go create some more memories by being present in the moment

Username: Maureen

Date posted: 5y ago

How do you know it's a false memory/OCD and not something that actually happened? I feel like a terrible person. I'm a very creative person, and the more I stress about whether I did this bad thing the more it seems real. The worst part is is that I have no way of reassurance without sounding crazy. I have ROCD and I randomly started obsessing over the 7 months of our relationship whether or not I've cheated on him. Even though I love him more than anything and I would never do that! I'm constantly triggered by coworkers or classmates that I've previously found attractive or liked and/or I know they've liked me or flirted with me. I'm at the point now where I'm rereading simple texts/straightforward texts of these people asking me about school work or if I could cover a shift trying to find proof of something I can't remember. My partner knows about my OCD and is very understanding and supportive. I feel like I'm living a lie. When this first started my rational brain knew this wasn't real, but the more I become obsessed the more it becomes more distorted. I feel guilty for being happy. I just want to be guaranteed it's not real so I can move on with my life. It's moving to specific people now and it's scaring me how real it feels.

Username: M

Date posted: 3y ago

Anyone else’s OCD really impact their ability to trust memories or remember correctly. I’m in tears over not remembering every detail of sexual harassment that happened to me. And now I’m afraid that I’m over exaggerating for attention. I have to fight my OCD to not ask for reassurance from mother who has a perfect memory. I told her about the event straight after it occurred. I’m in so much pain right now. It feels like I’m gaslighting myself. I’ve not changed the way I’ve told the story for 3 years. So why would I be lying ? It’s just so painful to remember so I shut it down.

"Pure" OCD

Username: Angel20

Date posted: 2y ago

False memories

How can something that’s not true feel so real?! Something I had intrusive thoughts about months ago, has come back and now I’m stuck. I had reassurance from my husband around these thoughts at the time ( I know that’s wrong by the way but I was desperate) Now I keep ruminating on that previous reassurance and my ocd is doubting that and my memory of it is feeling all hazy. I’m walking around with a constant feeling of being on edge and I’ve been resisting my urge to ask for reassurance again for weeks now but it’s just not going away. Can anyone here relate? How can I get it to move on? The whole maybe maybe not approach is just not appropriate here, it’s already making me uncomfortable around my husband with just the thoughts being present, thoughts that logically deep down I know are false.

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