scutodragon

Date posted: 1y

The struggle with real event ocd

I know I’ve already made a post like this one before but I want to explain my struggle I’m struggling badly with real event ocd it’s been taking over my life and I’ve been struggling so badly with it if anything I miss being normal I miss when I listen to old Minecraft music it brings me to the time where I didn’t have ocd such a nice time it was and it was robbed away from me buy the satan that is ocd oh boy I would do anything for one day without my ocd nagging me in my head about old events I just want one week with peace of mind I don’t think I can live like this anymore I hate hate hate this life with this shitty disorder

Real Events OCD

Eggsalad

Date posted: 1y

I completely get it and relate to this. I also think back on childhood memories and feel sad because it was before I was always worrying about the real events. You’re definitely not alone in this and I’m so sorry ocd has been such a struggle for you lately. It can be really hard, can’t it? If you ever need to talk, I’m totally open. Have you started seeing an ocd specialist?

scutodragon

Date posted: 1y

@Eggsalad It has been a hellish experience my brain will not stop and clearly with ocd it’s simply is going to lach onto this event forever I’ve had ocd all my life but recently it went out of control and I feel helpless and want to give up recently it’s been a lot of anger in me I built up lots of envy for those that get the luxury to live without this satanic menace of a disorder worse thing a human can face robber of life I would do anything to get rid of this mind even for a week it doesn’t feel worth it to live

Eggsalad

Date posted: 1y

@scutodragon I completely understand. I’ve been dealing with real event ocd for a long time and it really is a hellish experience sometimes. I have also been in a place where I’ve wanted to give up before. I feel like real event ocd is one of the more sticky themes because it actually happened before and it is also not talked about as much. Just know that you are not your actions and human beings do fucked up shit sometimes. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it’s just something that happened in the past and it doesn’t have to define your future. I believe in you and I have faith that you can get through this I promise ❤️

scutodragon

Date posted: 1y

@Eggsalad I wish my brain just stopped problem solving it and letted me live but yet it keeps on at me never stopping therapy is not the best where I’m from and medications have their side effects it feels hopeless adding to that it’s hard to compete with non ocd people grade wise it just feels really unfair that this happened to me while others get away with the bliss that is a life without ocd

Eggsalad

Date posted: 1y

@scutodragon Have you tried getting a therapist from the nocd app? And yeah ocd can be really overwhelming I completely get it. I’ve been jealous of other people before because of how much freedom and happiness they have while I have to deal with unending anxiety all day. I completely get it and you are definitely not alone in that. I promise that if you commit to the path and follow an ocd plan, you will eventually feel normal again. I’ve heard an ocd therapist say that it takes about 6 months to recover, then 6 months of maintaining that recovery. So it takes a bit to get your brain out of that state if because of the neural pathways created by ocd, but conquering it is incredibly worth it.

scutodragon

Date posted: 1y

@Eggsalad I don’t live in the states and idk if I can afford therapy from this app did you manage to recover completely without the use of meds?

scutodragon

Date posted: 1y

@Eggsalad I might be doing it accualty but my ocd is really really severe atm so let’s hope it even works

Eggsalad

Date posted: 1y

@scutodragon I did manage to recover without meds. Something I would recommend is finding someone on YouTube who is an ocd therapist to watch in the meantime and figure out if your insurance is compatible with the app or if you can afford it. If you aren’t able to get an ocd specialist, don’t fret. I recovered by watching ally greymond on YouTube regularly and she was quite helpful. You can do ERP on your own, it’s just a little more challenging when someone’s not holding you accountable and it may take a little longer. But if you are determined to stay on the path, then following a ERP plan and slowly doing more and more exposure can do wonders.

dust

Date posted: 1y

Sucks you’re struggling right now.

Cynthiawedding1

Date posted: 1y

I feel you. I have real event OCD, too. It sucks bad. Reciting ERP scripts really help me to get the unstuck. Have you tried ERP scripts?

scutodragon

Date posted: 1y

@Cynthiawedding1 What’s ERP scrips I know what’s ERP But what’s the scrips mean

scutodragon

Date posted: 1y

@Cynthiawedding1 If this fails idk if life with be worth it I’ve tried ERP and my brain is simply really slow in making change let’s say about 6 months just to see change with it’s current speed it’s prob going to take until mid 2024 just to see slight change and that’s if it works

Cynthiawedding1

Date posted: 1y

I hear you. Please keep trying. Just Google OCD ERP scripts.

scutodragon

Date posted: 1y

Yeah.. I just wish there was something to do this terror of a disorder gosh

scutodragon

Date posted: 1y

I really wished it just stopped bothering me but that’s just not possible with my brain

scutodragon

Date posted: 1y

Sometimes I really get mad that I have this brain while others get the blissfulness of being able to control their thoughts something that I will never be able to get maybe it just was not meant to be me on this world you know

scutodragon

Date posted: 1y

I would really like to see an ocd specialist I never did in the past because it was always under control but now with how badly it turned out I think enough is enough it’s really time to change but idk if I will be able to afford it and knowing that if the therapy and meds fail it’s pretty much the end for me

scutodragon

Date posted: 1y

I’ve seen it it sounds promising have you tried medication for your ocd? Or therapy

Luke_McElwee

Date posted: 25w

Losing my shit, freaking out

Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.

emma345

Date posted: 24w

Lost a year of life to real event ocd

17f Just like the title says. I came to realization that I lost a whole year of life. I remembered my real event in the end of january of 2024. Since then my life has been a living hell. Also kinda made a couple new smaller events through this year. And I know I deserve it cause my event was actually bad. Even people without ocd on reddit agree it was bad. It's still ocd, but I deserve it probably. For this whole year I haven't had a day when I wouldn't think of it. It became my default state to constantly have it on my mind. I walked around, pretended to have fun, talked to people. Most of the time I wasn't really there, I was thinking about my event. My event haunts me when I'm awake, when I'm asleep. I spend this whole year either freaking out, being depressed, thinking on methods to off myself, ruminating, seeking reassurance or trying to distract myself with books, TV shows, social media or daydreaming. Literally barely engaged with reality. So it's so hard to believe a whole year passed... I can barely remember anything that happened during this year. I can't believe this is my life. Probably doesn't really matter cause I don't plan on staying there that long. There is no way I'm going to experience piece with myself. So I will be out in a year or so, since my plan requires some time. Finally will end it all. It just feels very weird. A whole year passed. I was so deep down in my head I didn't even notice. It's scary.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 20w

Life kinda just sucks right now 18+ only

Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.

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The struggle with real event ocd

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