Not really ocd related just venting I have no one

I’m overwhelmed big time. I am working full time and I’m going to school full time too. I work retail and it’s a store that is constantly busy and they over work people to death including me. I am taking 5 classes this semester and I have so many assignments each week that I never have time to do because I work all day where I usually get off at 9 and have assignments due at midnight. I can’t afford to cut my hours down at work because it’s almost the holiday season which is big for the store I work for and I have so many bills I have to take care of. Now I’m no way trying to sound ungrateful. I have a job and a place to live and I know that’s something to be happy for and I get that. But juggling all of this while having depression and anxiety is nearly impossible. I was bullied at my last job and I recently started at the place I’m at now and I have no friends at work or school because I have trust issues from being betrayed and stabbed in the back so I come off as a rude bitter person to protect myself I guess I don’t know but I have a huge heart but people manage to still use me and hurt me. Anyways I know this isn’t ocd related but I really don’t have anyone I could talk to that would understand because when I talk to my mom about it she gets cold about my feelings and pushes me aside and I don’t want to keep putting my grandma through it because then it makes her stressed out that she can’t help me which I don’t expect her to but that’s the kind of person she is. She recently had a possible heart attack from stress so that’s the last thing I want to do. I know this is a lot but if you read this until the end please just know if you are going through something similar I’m here for you. I understand how hard and overwhelming it can be. I just don’t know if I can handle it much longer 💔

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Maybe take less classes this semester. Get and accommodation for your classes because of your OCD. You need see special services at your school. I hope this helps.

Heyhey!

Date posted: 1y

I feel you I had to lower my course work in school because it became too much. Have you ever considered looking into like any mental health groups that meet at your school it could help you find comfort in those ppl that are experiencing things similar to you and could provide an outlet and way to make friends. Put your mental health as first priority!! I know there’s bills which is definitely stressful. I’ve personally considered medically withdrawing for the semester at my university because where i go the tuition is just credited to the next semester and no money would be lost. Just throwing it out there just in case you felt stuck in any way. I just signed up for this app so idk how the therapy works really but I bet they could help with the stress etc. and ways to maybe overcome the trust. I know it sounds odd but what always used to help me get through things would be to try and image myself in my ideal place even when it’s not there rn it always just gave me hope for the future but sometimes it’s hard for me to do so idk if it will 100% work but won’t hurt to try!

Magzzz

Date posted: 1y

@Heyhey! I have actually quit college a few years ago because I couldn’t handle it so now I’m super hard on myself now that I’ve decided to go back and I got my GPA back up and I was thinking that I could get through it this time and actually get my degree but I’m so discouraged because of my job. I have gone through therapy before through NOCD first therapist I had got let go and the second one didn’t work out because I financially can’t afford it anymore because they didn’t take my insurance. I would join a mental health group but I don’t think my campus has one. I know where I’m at right now is temporary and will hopefully will be worth it in the end but right now I just feel so alone and stuck in a depressing state because I feel like I’m doing so much but it’s not enough which could be my fault because I’m pushing myself too much. I just feel like I have to, to prove myself I guess I don’t know. Thank you for your response I appreciate your advice!

Heyhey!

Date posted: 1y

If your at university I’m pretty sure they have therapists for free there so that could be something helpful because then insurance wouldn’t be a stress. And the fact that you took time off a bit ago and were able to get better and were able to get your gpa up proves that you are 100% capable you’ve already proven it to yourself. So if you need to take another break so that you can continue to prove this to yourself then that’s ok or if pushing through will work then great. I’m personally a believer and so that is kind of what gives me hope and just that everything will work out even when we can’t see it yet or understand why we’re in these situations I just feel that growth and purpose will come out of this even though it’s unknown how yet. If you’re open to it campuses have a lot of church groups that are always welcoming sorry just throwing out another outlet. I really hope everything gets better for you!

Magzzz

Date posted: 1y

@Heyhey! You are right I could look into that for sure. Even the church group too that would be really cool. Your advice is very inspiring thank you! It means a lot 🥲

veinsoul

Date posted: 25w

in need of help

I don’t know what I can do. I guess this is more of a depression thing than OCD but who knows. I have been battling this ongoing war within myself for years now and it’s been affecting my academic performance. situation of mine right now: I haven’t done a lot of work for my classes this month and I feel like I’m going to fail the semester again. I don’t know what it is but I can never seem to begin any work. I know I am capable but why can’t I get myself to start? why has this been going on for so long? I don’t understand. I have a history of good grades back in high school before I turned 17. I don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like I’ve been paralyzed and cannot do any work. but I can somehow do offside tasks like pinterest boards or random youtube videos. if I get rid of those, what do I do? I end up sleeping. because I’m tired. I have a low vitamin D deficiency & have been trying to get energy. I’m at a loss. I also bought unnecessary stuff on sunday when I went out with my family. I bought some things for the kids and I ended up buying myself a dress and a few accessories. now I have to work extra to gain that money back doing uber eats because I need it asap. it’s like I don’t want to work, for now. my coworkers who are around my age don’t work as much & I think to myself, “wow, they must be getting in the work done” meanwhile I’m working 3 days a week (which isn’t much) and attending school. I feel like if I change my schedule again, I’ll ruin it for the rest of my driver coworkers. I’m in a lead position at work so having to put on a mask is quite tiring. there’s so much I want to say that I don’t think it will fit in this post. I have booked a mental health session with a school counselor. all I want at the moment is to have my own place and be in a better mental state to take care of my cats. they mean a lot to me but this stupid ass undiagnosed mental issue is getting in the way. sorry for the long rant. I am tired.

liyah1787g

Date posted: 16w

Question

Trigger Warning: Suicide I’m 21(Female) just for reference Anyone else struggling with OCD so much to where you feel so isolated, confused, burnout, suffering & in astonishing emotional pain & agony. I promise yall aren’t alone in the feelings. I promise you there is someone going through similar, obviously our lives aren’t identical, but our struggles can be very similar. It’s even harder dealing with trauma, split parents, abusive parent(s), a sick parent at the same time as all of this. It feels like God or the universe just WANTS you to struggle. Like it’s punishment for something you did as a kid or teenager. I’m dealing with all this exactly. Sometimes I just want support. So I hope this message can be support for someone struggling too & hope it helps them be able to breathe a little easier & gives them strength to go on another day. I just would like to mention if you have access to therapy take advantage of it. The therapists are not there to judge you but I promise it’s a them issue & you’re not a horrible person. When I used to think of suicide often I started to think less “doomsdayish” & realized that I wont know how my life will turn out if I just give up. If you give up you won’t ever know. Whether your situation will improve, & all the fear in your heart just gone. You could miss out on that freedom and happiness you’ve been waiting for in this current life we are living. One last thing I want to point out that I’ve thought about is that we don’t know how many more people are out there struggling with this. I think they’re maybe afraid of judgement. Basically what I’m implying is I feel like there are so many others out there who don’t want to speak up & are struggling with this. Everything on their conscious being afraid to even write it down. I just feel in my heart that there are others who keep these issues to themselves. I think I feel it in my heart because that was me once. Feeling like my story was different, afraid at thought of even telling a stranger(therapist) who could judge me. I did not want to be perceived badly. I’m 21 years old & wish I had the courage to speak up sooner I feel like I could’ve started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel sooner but that’s okay. Speak up for you, you do not have to wake up in fear everyday or contemplate suicide everyday. Even if it feels like you’re your only cheerleader. Sending a virtual hug to all because I know what it’s like to just want to be held & told that everything is going to work out. you never know what others are going through, be the person who isn’t afraid to extend your heart to others, try & breathe a little more, take care of yourselves, remember you aren’t alone no matter your situation, stay strong To the suicidal person reading this, you’re resilient & strong. Sending a virtual hug❤️.

avantika 🪻

Date posted: 12w

feeling misunderstood

Having ocd is so incredibly exhausting and depressing- my mom and dad argued with me for over an hour talking about how im a pain to be around, go in too many loops, and ruin everything and everyones mood… this conversation started with me saying im stressed out because of school and that i dont want to go because im exhausted- and idk if this is like ocd directly but it takes me like 2 hours to get ready in the morning because i need to look PERFECT and the same everyday literally 😭 and that process feels so exhausting every morning at 6am but i will NOT go to school without going through with it- i will literally be crying and shaking and wanting to go home the minute i get to school if even a single strand of my hair is not perfectly straightened or any blemishes or flaws are showing- and i cant even walk to school or anything bc im scared the humidity will mess with my hair and everything- and it just really affects my life? And yeah its freaking exhausting. And i have two more years of highschool and I dont know if im going to make it 😭i get super stressed over grades too because i need them to be extraordinary otherwise its a fail. Nothing below 95%. And thats also tiring! 😁 and my mom told me today “medication IS NOTTTT AND OPTION!!!” Like oh okay so im just cooked 😭 and therapy isnt really helping me at all- i feel like what im being told is so basic and generic and it doesn’t help me when im in a huge ocd episode- which is often… and what i hate most is like my mom says “don’t come to me with your problems after 6pm…” im sorry i cant schedule my feelings 😭 im so tired

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Not really ocd related just venting I have no one

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