Compulsions

@VGH How do you overcome googling driving ocd and looking at news? Thanks

@Anonymous Hi, so for me it was deciding that if I was using Google to figure something out about my worries it was a compulsion and I had to stop. That doesn’t mean it was easy, stoping compulsions whether it’s stopping hand washing or ruminating or googling is really difficult. The urge to do the compulsion (googling) is so strong. It feels bad, it feels like you’re making a huge mistake and being irresponsible. However that is how you know you’re on the right track with recovery. OCD say no you can’t feel that discomfort, but recovery says you allow those feeling to get your life back. The same with the news. You don’t avoid the news, but you don’t watch it to figure something out. So I stopped googling but if I needed to google something not ocd related I would. If I was triggered I didn’t continue googling. Hang in there, it takes practice. Are you working with a therapist? It definitely helped to have a NOCD therapist to guide me.

@VGH Hi you are so amazing! Thanks for your experience. So what I do is I do the physical exposure being brave at moment and physically not drive to area in question of doubt to check for my driving ocd. When I get home that’s when I regret why did do that exposure as I would never know and be miserable for a long time. I resisted the physical compulsion but my therapist it’s self Sabtoging to do mental rumination and regret why didn’t I drive a different road. How do you not engage in ruminating like mental review the event and how do you culp with the question what if it’s not ocd and the event was real and serious? Appreciate your help! Want to recover like you!

@Anonymous Thank you for your kind words. The regret and rumination that happens when you get home (thinking about if only you’d taken a different road or now I’m going to be miserable) is also a compulsion, it’s OCD’s way of trying to get you to be 100% sure. So just as you don’t turn your car around and drive back over your route, when you get home, you don’t review your decision, or spend time thinking about how you feel (regret). It helped me to accept I was going to feel bad when I didn’t do a compulsion. Here is the thing, I’m here to tell you if you truly don’t do a compulsion you will get the clarity you so desperately want. A book that really helped me to understand these principles was Needing to Know for Sure by Seif and Winston. Remember that compulsions aren’t just the physical act of checking, it’s also the time you spend in your head after. It helps me to jump into a value-based behavior while I’m resisting compulsions (even rumination) Every time my brain wanted to ruminate I’d focus on what I was doing, right in front of me. Sometimes I’d have to redirect constantly, but this does get easier with time. Hope this helps.

@VGH Thanks a lot. I feel very determined and hopeful! You have truly inspired me as I’m working hard in this journey. I have a NOCD therapist but due to cost won’t be able to afford soon. My number is 720-998-7530 Could you send me a message and would love to text and learn more about your experience when you have time. Truly blessing to see you thoughtful words today

@Anonymous I’m so happy you are on your way, and I’m here to support you❤️. I’m following you, so I will see when you post and most definitely will offer my help however I can. I will try to text, but definitely reach out to me here. I’d be happy to share my experience and offer you support.

@VGH Yeah will definitely later want to get you coffee! Venmo you haha! Those are valuable words and I found hope again. Not through re-assurance but through proper ways to push and expose. This is the painful right way

@Anonymous ❤️you will get there! I had untreated OCD for 35+ years and truly recovery is a process, it isn’t perfect, I still have hard days, so don’t ever be discouraged. I truly believe that we learn and change our brains slowly and with practice. Lol, I texted my previous response to you, got out of my car to head into airport and was like “oh man I have to go back and check” but I knew I shouldn’t and I was able to resist. So, it’s a process. I used to feel like you felt earlier where you want to think about it once you’re home. That does go away. I didn’t have that, but it helps me too to remind myself of how to handle these urges. You will definitely get there. Take care, reach out anytime.

@VGH Wonderful! Your courage to push through and resist not checking is admirable! After doing exposure of driving in direct sun light in my eye and not able to see well driving in park I resisted compulsion and sat through not going back to check. It feels like 2 days go by and my brain tells me because I didn’t check I will regret for my whole life and that I will never know what happened. Like it tells me I will be worried and not know if anything bad happen for the rest of my life. Would would be the best route to react properly with this feeling? When it tells me this time it’s real and because we did exposure on a real event then our life will be affected forever. How do we accept those thoughts? Thanks VGH for help!

@Anonymous Hi! So what works for me is to look at the exposure as part 1 and part 2. Part 1 is the actual first thought/urge that I resist. “The sun was in my eyes maybe.,.” This is part 1 which I resist, then comes part 2 I get home and all the “what ifs” start. Part 2 is often harder than part 1 because this is the true response prevention over time. The heavy lifting, so to speak. I try to expect this second onslaught of “what ifs” anxiety etc. I will say to myself “ ok ocd here we go” but I’m not giving in even though this feels Terrible. Here is where I do something I value, even if it’s just putting laundry away. Hoping on this app to offer support, calling a friend and NOT talking about my fears but asking about them. Whatever it takes to not engage with the fear. It’s kind of a surrender to the fear. I know it feels terrible, I know I’m going to have so many urges to ruminate, but that ok, it’s ok to be anxious. What I really need to do it let time pass. Whenever I truly surrender and stop resisting clarity does come. Remember that you are not accepting the thoughts are true, you are accepting that you are uncertain and it feels terrible but you are willing to feel terrible to get you life back Try to not get into the conversation of why just “ok OCD moving on”.