Really need to talk to someone Confessional OCD is in full swing , my boyfriend doesn't need to know my past so why do I have the urge to tell him absolutely everything guys I've slept with etc , I need some support today
Sometimes when I have this problem I write a note of everything I wish I could say. Idk if that’s healthy. But it lets me compartmentalize it sort of. So I can have the thought, see I’ve had it, and try not to keep having it. And not actually confess to someone.
I feel like I've confessed In a way but now I'm having crippling anxiety and thoughts he will leave ugh this illness debilitates me 😭😭
@tannyt That is such a mood. It debilitates me too. I feel you. Just try not to give too much energy to those thoughts. Let them happen but don’t latch on. I’m terrible at that but I know that’s what we’re supposed to do lol
@balexan8 Because I confessed it's just fed my ocd more and now it's making me think I've said horrible things about him to other guys before we became an item . I feel like I could actually be sick , I now have an urge to reach out to the guy who slid into my dms yesterday ( this was the trigger) and ask him to confirm I never said anything bad about my boyfriend 😭 help x
@tannyt Well definitely don’t do that! That would give into it more. It’s ok that you gave into something we aren’t perfect. So try not to beat yourself up about it. But the consequence is now you have to deal with some extra discomfort before it goes away. Try to find something else to do while you let those emotions simmer. They will decrease with time and maybe next time you’ll be able to fight the compulsion and break the cycle. It will simply suck for a little while and that’s ok!
I used to do that too, but then I had to go back and check it to be sure it was ok. My therapist pointed out this was a compulsion 🤦♀️. Stay strong resist the urges it gets easier with practice ❤️
I think it’s natural to want to re assure the person you are with that you are always up front and honest. Even about past stuff good or bad. For the bad you want it out because you don’t want it used against you and you want your significant other to know what they are getting themselves into. Not to mention it helps them understand that you have grown as a person overall. However, with what you are currently experiencing…… you sound like me in a lot of ways. I reached out to so many people to confirm past stories to ensure I did nothing wrong in regards to my wife. When they gave me answers, it temporarily relived the stress, but all asking people to confirm past things did was feed into the OCD and drive me more mad leaving me wanting to ask about more of my past. I feel the root that makes me compelled to do these things is because it impacts someone I love or care about and it doesn’t just impact me alone. For example: If I was living on my own, I truly do not think I would have this problem as much or at all. Any past event that triggered a false memory or something along those lines, I feel I would be able to shrug it off and say “maybe it happened, maybe not….I will never know and I accept that” and move on. My reality today: Weeeeeeell because I have others that depend on me like my wife and kids it’s not that simple anymore to let things go. So I can’t just simply say “maybe I talked to another woman in a flirting or inappropriate way….or maybe I didn’t.” The reason I can’t let that situation go now is because I know it would hurt my wife if I did do it, so in turn it makes it hard to move on and say, “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t and I accept that I will never know. From there the not knowing for sure feeling compels me to act on my compulsiveness vs just shrugging it off. Hopefully that makes sense and shows that you are not alone. I have my next appointment on the 9th. I hope you are getting help on this and I know you we will pull through this rough patch. I don’t know when….but we will and we cannot give up.
You can do it! You seem to be very caring and a honest partner (which you wouldn’t be feeling this way if you weren’t). A lot of ppl want that in a partner and sometimes don’t get it. You are it for your boyfriend. Now we just need to get the OCD part away from your core values because that’s why it’s making you feel guilty and secretive. Us engaging in past events and latching on to them makes it feel so real and terrible that even though someone doesn’t need to know our past we feel compelled to share. Now this use to plague me because I use to have very low self esteem. It was me subconsciously thinking “do I really deserve something good” and OCD would use that as an opportunity to get in my head and make me ashamed and want to confess. Idk if that’s the root cause for you because OCD can pop up for any reason. Just remember you are a great partner and like you said he doesn’t need to know everything. When you feel these urges come on take a beat before you confess if you are going to confess. Spread out your compulsions. It’s baby steps instead of quitting cold turkey which you can do that too of course. Just stay strong against the compulsions. If you do give in. It’s ok. Fight another day. It’s easier said than done and we all been there. I believe in you 🤙🏻🙏🏻
need help or tips? i've been spiraling because i have confession compulsion and i have this fear that once my boyfriend finds out the themes of my OCD, he'll leave me. he loves me and tells me he'll always be by my side but before i kind of confessed that my mind kind of has his followers memorized because of compulsions i've performed before and he admitted that it slightly turned him off because "damn that's something else" but it wasn't a dealbreaker... can't help but think if he thinks that's something else then he is definitely gonna be turned off after he finds out about my POCD especially now it kind of involved his younger nephew or about Harm OCD or Pure O Really need help to overcome this. I have this urge to confess to him and try to make him understand to get that reassurance from him that even after knowing these he won't leave me but I also don't want to bc not a lot of people will understand or be comfortable about it esp we've only been together for a few months
Anyone know anything about confession OCD that can tell me about it in a nutshell? I’ve always felt the need to tell everyone whatever is going on in my head and I feel guilty if I don’t. I would always tell on myself as a kid but not for the things I did wrong but instead for all the bad things in my head. Now I obsess over everything from my past and experience with other partners and have horrible guilt if I don’t tell my boyfriend absolutely everything that has ever happened or just things my mind gets stuck on. Only when he knows everything I can think of do I relax. Is this what confession OCD is? If not- does anyone else get the compulsion to get the truth out?
I have dealt with ocd confessing for quite a few years now but I have the urge to confess everything bad I’ve ever done to my partner and I’m scared if we get married that I’m not being honest if I don’t tell him about my past - (sleeping around) there was also a cross over where I was speaking to another guy whilst me and my current partner were getting to know each other. I have also spoke to a few guys in the club or pub (only friendly conversations, no flirting) whilst we have been in a relationship which I didn’t think was a big deal at the time but I feel like I’m going to end up loosing him by confessing everything I’ve ever done when I know it’s not a big deal in hindsight, I feel physically sick about this. Does anyone have advise or similar experience?
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