Really need to talk to someone Confessional OCD is in full swing , my boyfriend doesn't need to know my past so why do I have the urge to tell him absolutely everything guys I've slept with etc , I need some support today
Sometimes when I have this problem I write a note of everything I wish I could say. Idk if that’s healthy. But it lets me compartmentalize it sort of. So I can have the thought, see I’ve had it, and try not to keep having it. And not actually confess to someone.
I feel like I've confessed In a way but now I'm having crippling anxiety and thoughts he will leave ugh this illness debilitates me 😭😭
@tannyt That is such a mood. It debilitates me too. I feel you. Just try not to give too much energy to those thoughts. Let them happen but don’t latch on. I’m terrible at that but I know that’s what we’re supposed to do lol
@balexan8 Because I confessed it's just fed my ocd more and now it's making me think I've said horrible things about him to other guys before we became an item . I feel like I could actually be sick , I now have an urge to reach out to the guy who slid into my dms yesterday ( this was the trigger) and ask him to confirm I never said anything bad about my boyfriend 😭 help x
@tannyt Well definitely don’t do that! That would give into it more. It’s ok that you gave into something we aren’t perfect. So try not to beat yourself up about it. But the consequence is now you have to deal with some extra discomfort before it goes away. Try to find something else to do while you let those emotions simmer. They will decrease with time and maybe next time you’ll be able to fight the compulsion and break the cycle. It will simply suck for a little while and that’s ok!
I used to do that too, but then I had to go back and check it to be sure it was ok. My therapist pointed out this was a compulsion 🤦♀️. Stay strong resist the urges it gets easier with practice ❤️
I think it’s natural to want to re assure the person you are with that you are always up front and honest. Even about past stuff good or bad. For the bad you want it out because you don’t want it used against you and you want your significant other to know what they are getting themselves into. Not to mention it helps them understand that you have grown as a person overall. However, with what you are currently experiencing…… you sound like me in a lot of ways. I reached out to so many people to confirm past stories to ensure I did nothing wrong in regards to my wife. When they gave me answers, it temporarily relived the stress, but all asking people to confirm past things did was feed into the OCD and drive me more mad leaving me wanting to ask about more of my past. I feel the root that makes me compelled to do these things is because it impacts someone I love or care about and it doesn’t just impact me alone. For example: If I was living on my own, I truly do not think I would have this problem as much or at all. Any past event that triggered a false memory or something along those lines, I feel I would be able to shrug it off and say “maybe it happened, maybe not….I will never know and I accept that” and move on. My reality today: Weeeeeeell because I have others that depend on me like my wife and kids it’s not that simple anymore to let things go. So I can’t just simply say “maybe I talked to another woman in a flirting or inappropriate way….or maybe I didn’t.” The reason I can’t let that situation go now is because I know it would hurt my wife if I did do it, so in turn it makes it hard to move on and say, “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t and I accept that I will never know. From there the not knowing for sure feeling compels me to act on my compulsiveness vs just shrugging it off. Hopefully that makes sense and shows that you are not alone. I have my next appointment on the 9th. I hope you are getting help on this and I know you we will pull through this rough patch. I don’t know when….but we will and we cannot give up.
You can do it! You seem to be very caring and a honest partner (which you wouldn’t be feeling this way if you weren’t). A lot of ppl want that in a partner and sometimes don’t get it. You are it for your boyfriend. Now we just need to get the OCD part away from your core values because that’s why it’s making you feel guilty and secretive. Us engaging in past events and latching on to them makes it feel so real and terrible that even though someone doesn’t need to know our past we feel compelled to share. Now this use to plague me because I use to have very low self esteem. It was me subconsciously thinking “do I really deserve something good” and OCD would use that as an opportunity to get in my head and make me ashamed and want to confess. Idk if that’s the root cause for you because OCD can pop up for any reason. Just remember you are a great partner and like you said he doesn’t need to know everything. When you feel these urges come on take a beat before you confess if you are going to confess. Spread out your compulsions. It’s baby steps instead of quitting cold turkey which you can do that too of course. Just stay strong against the compulsions. If you do give in. It’s ok. Fight another day. It’s easier said than done and we all been there. I believe in you 🤙🏻🙏🏻
This is my first post & I’m terrified. I have not been officially diagnosed w ocd yet but in a nutshell - I confessed some things I felt guilty about to my husband about five months ago. ( nothing too major ) but in our past, 20+ years ago I was unfaithful and it caused a LOT of harm, which I told him all of that back when it happened. But in recent months, I started getting consumed by guilt. I couldnt eat or sleep until I finally broke one night and told him all these recent little things I felt guilty about. Acting flirty, etc. And for him it like brought back allll the trauma from 20 years ago which I didn’t know would happen. But it’s so bad. He says he wishes I never told him. But even w that, I still feel like I keep thinking of “new things “ I did in the past, thoughts I had or dreams, or conversation w an ex,things like that. Because I am a Christian I also keep feeling like it’s the Holy Spirit telling me I haven’t told him everything and I need to. But I also know God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear .. I clearly need help, but I also want Christian based help so that it’s in line w what I believe ? I can’t eat and my anxiety is so bad again - I know if I confess more things it will keep destroying him, I don’t think he really understands or believes I have ocd. Thanks if you made it this far
Why why WHY do I feel the need to constantly overshare?! It’s making me feel guilty af! If my boyfriend tells me something in confidence but my ocd twists what’s said into some crazy big problem I feel the need to run to my mom for reassurance, it’s getting to the point where he doesn’t trust me not to talk about stuff and I don’t want him to feel like that obviously!! But it’s like I can’t stop! Does anyone else have that? How do you stop it?
I’ve been feeling the compulsion of confession again. I hate confessing things to my boyfriend I don’t want him to carry the burden. I’d rather hurt than him hurt. But I feel I did something wrong and he needs to know. Like I need to be punished or something. I may be over reacting to it but I just feel guilty and I had a panic attack when I woke up yesterday. I would never cheat on him. Just making guys laugh I feel like I am doing him wrong or flirting. And then when I notice it I just feel awful. I just want to be liked and noticed not romantically but just as a human. I don’t know why I act like this and feel the need to tell him as if I slept with someone. I think it’s attacking my biggest fear which is losing him. Does anyone have experience with this?
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