- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
Gifts of OCD
For me, these are extra "gifts" that OCD has given me, that I am just now realizing are related to the disorder: Maladaptive Daydreaming: While everyone has mental imagery and imaginative thinking from time to time, as a kid, I would listen to music and let my mind loose for hours at a time, most likely to escape reality and take control. I would make trailers to movies I wish existed or create new content and stories in my head. Cognitive fusion: Strong feelings surrounding situations, items and activities. My mind constantly analyzing how I feel about certain things when I am in the middle of an episode. Related to how things used to be or thinking about how others would look at a situation and taking that as reality. Symmetry: Things needing to be a certain way. Straight, even spacing, tidy. I relate it to the perfectionism that comes with OCD, but really specific. Social issues: I go from being outgoing and relatively chill outside of episodes, to analyzing every social situation for any mistakes or missteps I may have made or things that I may have said wrong. Even if it only lasts for an evening or a couple days after work, these are still obsessions. Impulsivity: I will preface this by saying that research does not support that people with OCD are inherently more impulsive than neurotypical individuals, but for myself, I find that the derealization that comes with my episodes lends myself to being less present, which then leads me to space out and be more "loosely liped" and say goofier things than I normally would. Paired with the social stuff and this is a difficult combination. Sorry all for the long winded post, but I am recovering right now and these are some things that I noticed that might help others with their recovery goals. A lot of my personal growth outside of ERP is challenging each one of these obsessive biproducts. Things don't need to be perfect, you are allowed to have people think you are weird or have people downright not like you. Take a break from being in your head and daydreaming and force yourself to experience reality and all its hardships. Have a weird thought about how time is passing and that the things you used to like don't hit you like they used to, but just let the thought be there and make you feel like garbage for a little bit. Eventually it won't be there anymore and after enough time, new fusions won't come to replace them. All of this is recovery. Comment below if you have experienced some of this or have your own examples. I love you all and thank you for your help over this past year.