- Username
- shiv00
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I can relate to this as well! I think HOCD is one that has always come and gone for me but it hit worse than intrusive thoughts a year and a half ago after my husband proposed and I started worrying about if I was making the right decision blah blah blah ROCD and then HOCD got some major hooks in. I started worrying that “what if this doesn’t feel right? Is this how it’s supposed to feel? What if I only think it feels right but I am actually a lesbian” etc. I had recovered really well and then a lesbian started at my job, and I had read a story about a woman who left her husband and took her children to live with this other woman in New York. This new person starting at my job has sent me back into a spiral and I feel like I’m back at square one. I would trade literally any of my previous OCD themes or any other theme in a heartbeat.
I just can’t accept the uncertainty. If it’s possible, it seems probable, and if it’s probable, then it’s definitely going to happen. And I am fighting so hard to not be okay with that. I know it’s causing the cycle but I can’t stop
what does hocd mean?
I do
Can you please tell me about your experience i need to talk about this to some one
I just can't take it
Anymore
Do you want to share your experiences or talk about it
I was suffering from dying ocd few years back and right now i just turned 20 and i am in a beautiful relationship with sweetest girl around 1 month back this question just popped up because i noticed something i dont cleary remember what. But since than i have been in conflict sometime it feels this is all real and i am in denial but my history doesn't let me believe it i did all sorts of things to get relief but it backfired i dont know what is real and what is fake now . I just dont want to leave my gf.
I’m so glad Lauren said she has dealt with this since being young because I remember being younger or in high school maybe and actually hearing about lesbians and stuff. I just always worried that there’s no way that it could’ve been OCD because if it was then it wouldn’t keep coming back, so clearly I must be in denial about something.
Actually it is a mental illness it can reoccur like hocd or some other ocd which our brain wants to obsess about
Well then I also tell myself “what if it never went away? What if they weren’t intrusive thoughts and just the real you that you’re in denial of”
does anyone have any tips to get over HOCD? it’s driving me crazy and it’s taking over my life
Been suffering with HOCD as my dominant theme for over a year, one of the most difficult things to deal with is when I'm around others, I constantly have these intrusive thoughts pop up "You're gay" "just tell them you're gay" "tell them, they will understand" "you're just in denial". Also, at times, i get this incrediblely strong urge to just scream "I'm gay", it feels extremely overwhelming and unbearable. It's extremely difficult and exhausting, in general before OCD, I've always known I'm Bi-Sexual and I've accepted that however I've never been sexual with anyone from the Same Sex, but I know i never exclusively gay, all of a sudden OCD is convincing me I'm in denial. Anyone else suffer the same or similar symptoms?
So my HOCD has been pretty rough the last couple weeks. Have others that suffer from this type of OCD ever see an attractive person of the same sex and look internally for “feelings” of attraction? I’m beyond the “groinal response phase” now, and now its look for feelings of attraction. My mind is going back and forth between “this is a real feeling you are denying” or “this is just OCD creating false feelings”. Would love to hear if others have experienced it and if so, how they’ve coped with it.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond