Justmesadly
- Date posted
- 1y
How is it possible?
How is it even possible to move on knowing you did something so horrible ? I am reminded of it so frequently and I just can’t even imagine how much my childhood friend is hurting.
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 1y
I have this problem as well with my addictive behaviors of the past. I'm not fully sure how to move on from it myself. There's days where his easier and days where it's harder. I'm sorry you go through this too
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 1y
@BigGyro09 Yes I agree some days are worst than others but it never fully goes away
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 1y
@Justmesadly I totally get how you feel about this. It really does suck. Do you have a therapist to help you? I hope so.
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 1y
@BigGyro09 I don’t. I did NOCD for a while but it came back and my therapist is no longer a therapist and I don’t want to tell anymore people how horrible of a person I am 😭
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 1y
@Justmesadly How did NOCD go when you had it? Was it helpful? Did you feel like it was helping? No therapist that understands OCD out there will see you as horrible. They want you to get better. It's their job to do so. If it helps, I don't think your horrible.
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 1y
@BigGyro09 It helped for a short period of time then it comes right back! You don’t see me as horrible bc you don’t know what I did. Most people would want me dead
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 1y
@Justmesadly I'm glad that it helped! I hope you find another therapist soon! I can't wait to find one for myself! I don't think so. You seem to have lots of regret for whatever happened too. :(
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 1y
@BigGyro09 I don’t plan to get another therapist just to discuss the same things over and over. Unfortunately erp doesn’t take away what I did or take away the pain or undo horrible horrible actions.
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 1y
@Justmesadly Why not? I thought it helped you. I thought you could get therapy again to help you with this. It hasn't gone away and it shouldn't bother you anymore. You deserve the support to overcome OCD.
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 1y
@BigGyro09 No I’m not going back… I did it for 9 months + and nothing got better. It’s not going to go away. I can’t undo the past so what I did will forever live in me and in the friend whose life I destroyed. No amount of therapy can take that away
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 1y
@Justmesadly Please don't give up... It can be difficult but you said it helped when you did have NOCD. The only time it didn't and came back was when your therapist wasn't available. You can get that again with a new therapist who can make this better for you. Please don't keep this to yourself. You deserve this treatment.
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 1y
@BigGyro09 No lol that’s not what I said! I have already done treatment for much much longer than they ask you to complete treatment
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 1y
@Justmesadly Oh, sorry. But it did help you when you did get it, right? Do you remember what did help you?
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 1y
@BigGyro09 No it didn’t. It helps for a short amount of time then comes back. The only thing that helped was reassurance then it comes right back
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 1y
@Justmesadly I'm sorry... I still hope there's some way you can get help with this. :( I don't think you're a bad person. You just sound like someone who needs support..
NicaNica
- Date posted
- 1y
Based on what you’re saying, you’d want to see a trauma specialist in order to get better with what you’re dealing with.
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 1y
@Nica I don’t want to risk going to jail or the program I am volunteering with
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 1y
@Justmesadly Hi. Are you feeling better by any chance today?
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 1y
@BigGyro09 Depends on the time
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 1y
@Justmesadly I'm sorry. I don't think you'll be in jail for what you did.
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 1y
@BigGyro09 It’s very possible and I’d lose my job
Related posts
J🧸
- Date posted
- 13w
Please help.
I’ve posted something vulnerable here before and I’m trying to ride out the wave of reassurance where it’s getting at me and I’m scared of sitting still with nobody to talk to about this at the moment I genuinely think it would be easier if I wasn’t around. I view my friends as pure compared to me and I’m the most impurest. I feel like this would do a favour to stop being here I don’t know what to do, I really don’t know. I’m literally alone in this and I’m getting tired. How do you deal with stupid choices that you made as a child? I’m trying to be understanding of past mistakes but it’s gut wrenching to try and accept to say and admit you did it knowing you’ll spend the rest of your life with that guilt..is there another perspective to this..???
laineynoelle
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 12w
Is it possible
Is it possible to have been living your life well and enjoying your days but have been physically hurting people without knowing? Like you are always aware of your actions right? I have this terrible feeling that I hurt one of my students and went through an entire week either blacking it out or not realizing. But it’s something I feel like you should realize. A disturbing dream seems to have triggered this.
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
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Generiname
- Date posted
- 10w
Real-Event is stopping me from enjoying life
My real-events are terrible. I'm plagued daily by multiple awful things I did as a child / teenager (please don't downplay it.) I've grown into a better person, but the memories won't let me see any progress. It feels as if my insides are dying from grief and shame. How do you go day to day not picturing yourself as a monster?
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