User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Birthday coming up , 3 years of same theme

It’s going to be 3 years of the same theme. I want to be excited about my bday but I can’t since this reminds me of relapse. In addition, I’ve been in therapy for too long and in a place where I’ve accepted I may be a lesbian but that doesn’t make sense, then I accepted I may be a bisexual. It felt so anxiety provoking! But now, it’s not. Now, I feels like I want it and I feel horrible because I love my husband but my mind is always throwing the thoughts with no anxiety and feelings like I want that. Now,every woman is a trigger and I hate it because I’m still not ok with being a bisexual. I don’t want to be w a woman! I think about me being w my husband forever and being w a woman is just not me, like I cannot picture me living w one and having that kind of life. Just need some encouragement 😢

Anonymo12

Date posted: 1y

That was me thinking abt being with my girl forever. U can’t jus change sexuality I know that for a fact. Ik I’ve been straight my entire life why would o switch Wtf man. I hate this

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

Just wanna say nothing can force u to do something u really don’t want, my brain can flash an image of me wanting to hurt a family member and seem so real, but am I gonna ACTUALLY do it? No, of course not, it’s not real

Joe87

Date posted: 1y

This comment 👏👏👏👏

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Joe87 I know this because I had HarmOCD and thought I was really close to hurting someone, like the urge. I didn’t want to do it but the ocd doesn’t care

Joe87

Date posted: 1y

@68273 Did your OCD cause you to do physical compulsions?

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Joe87 I don’t think physical but more like avoidance of sharp objects, rumination, avoiding certain places or people that would start the obsessions/urges

Joe87

Date posted: 1y

@68273 So I'm learning about the different types of OCD all the time but I was always under the impression that for someone to have OCD they had to do compusions like for exaomle flicking a light switch on and off or opening and closing doors repeatedly in order to stoplp something bad from happening. It seems I am wrong though. Do you mind me asking an example of what your obsessions and urges would be?

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Joe87 For me, I have massive rumination. Like when I had HarmOCD, I would think that if I ended up in Jail, it wouldn’t be too bad. I wouldn’t have to work, there will be meals, I would be able to got to school etc. and this would throw me off

Joe87

Date posted: 1y

@68273 That sounds like a rough place for your mind to be particularly because it's made you feel anxious and question who you are for having them types of thoughts which is exactly what OCD is. I can almost guarantee that a lot of people have had the same thought but someone without OCD/anxiety will just brush it off and I think that's the key. Can I ask what you do to pull yourself out of these ruminations?

68273

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I know! That’s the crazy thing about ocd right? You know but it doesn’t matter

Joe87

Date posted: 1y

One of the best ways I can describe OCD is that it wants to send us down constant rabbit holes with our thinking and then make us question, ruminate and worry about why we thought that and from that the cycle just continues. I think the main difference between someone with OCD and someone without is that a person without OCD will still get intrusive thoughts and find there minds wondering to some weird places and sometimes uncomfortable places but they are able to recognise any intrusive thughts or strange ruminations as exactly just that and nothing more. I also feel that in general people without OCD must be far more busy and far more productive than people with OCD because we spend a lot of our time ruminating or doing physical compulsions that keep us stuck. Does that make any sense?

Anonymous123

Date posted: 23w

I'm so convinced it's just denial

I feel sick to my stomach, a few days ago I knew I was straight and could picture my life with my bf again. The anxiety has really lessend and Im more depressed now. I'm 100% convinced I am lesbian even tho I have never had sexual attraction to women, found them pretty but never wanted to be with them. My mind is only picturing me being with women now and it feels like a pit in my stomach. I don't feel emotion now, I'm also on my period. I don't want to be lesbian. I want to be with my boyfriend and have the life I pictured with him. My memory is so dissorted right now. I don't think there's anything wrong with being lesbian, it's just not for me and now that makes me feel like I'm homophobic.

Masc4lesb

Date posted: 16w

LESBIAN WITH SO-OCD

I have been doing okay for the past week or so and was really happy i felt that i was getting back on track, but today i went on tiktok and i saw something triggering which was “i thought i was a lesbian for 4 years until i met my now boyfriend” and it triggered me very badly, i have been crying all day and i can’t seem to make myself feel okay. i feel like im lying to myself that im not lesbian and i truly want men, but when i get any thought about men it feels disgusting and wrong and not me, i don’t want men i feel so sick i want to get out of this. i always felt so happy as a lesbian im so stuck i don’t want to be with a man. i have a loving girlfriend i just want to be happy with her.

Animallover065

Date posted: 15w

How do I get past this last bump with my OCD?

I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?

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Birthday coming up , 3 years of same theme

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