I dont know if this is considered ROCD, but Im always checking up on what my boyfriend is doing on social media and put thoughts into my head that he’s cheating on me... I’ve caught him sending messages to another girl, and it broke my heart. I was so close to breaking up with him but decided to give it another try and my trust in him is growing back. We have been really really good lately but I always am engaging in compulsions to check Instagram and every platform of social media. It is especially worse when I text him, and he doesn’t answer and I see him active on another platform... it triggers me to think he’s messaging another girl and my thoughts start spiralling. I do not try to engage in the compulsion to always check my phone but somehow I always do. It’s consuming my professional life and distracting me from work!! Any advice?

Omg! I used to have this with my ex!!!! You’re not alone... I think OCD can take a genuine subconscious suspicion and turn it into a full on ritualistic obsession. Perhaps your skepticism is warranted, but the compulsions around it aren’t, you know? I suggest having a candid conversation about your feelings with him. For example, “I fear that you’re interested in other girls and it’s causing me anxiety. Do I have reason to feel that way?” I also suggest that you stop doing the checking. It’s a form of seeking reassurance, and it won’t help mitigate the issue. Good luck :)

Wow... idk if this is a “sign” that you replied to my question but your username is the same name as my dog who passed away last month. Although sad, I actually smiled. Thank you for your advice. We have talked about it and he’s somewhat understanding to the best he can... but it’s honestly SO difficult to resist/ignore the compulsions. Especially when I text him, and he doesn’t reply ... I’m always waiting and checking and waiting and checking to see when the response comes through. And if he doesn’t reply then I go and incessantly check social media !! It’s so consuming

I’m so sorry to hear about your dog ? I’m glad I could make you smile, though :) I’m glad I could pay some unknowing homage. So of course it’s hard to resist checking his accounts and stuff. Any compulsion is hard to fight off. But maybe try limiting yourself first. Like “okay I can check his Instagram 3x a day” if he doesn’t respond to your text, but you’ve already checked 3x, you have to resist. It sounds super silly, but retraining our brains is kinda just part of OCD even with the little stuff. Do you think you could manage something like that? (Obviously doesn’t have to be my example)

I’ve tried so many things... 1. Putting my phone on “do not disturb” - so if any notification (not necessarily from him) comes in I’m not immediately grabbing my phone to see 2. Putting only HIM on silent / hide notifications 3. Completely deleting all my social media platforms for two months to entirely rid of any possible way to engage in compulsions and reassurance seeking It’s exhausting... almost like i know to engage in the compulsions is bad but I do it anyways over and over agin

Do you think that at the root of the issue there may be some anxiety about the relationship in general?

Definitely a lack of trust that exacerbated the ocd... and we’re really working on building that trust back ... but I’m more so just trying to find a way to resist/stop worrying about what he’s up to in order to not consume my day!!!

Have you explained the OCD part of your relationship anxiety? Like have you told him about the compulsions?

Yah briefly, and told him the reason I went on a social media hiatus months ago was BECAUSE of my compulsions

i am going through the same thing.... i’m a lesbian and my girlfriend is pansexual, so sometimes (most of the time) i am so scared she’s going to cheat on me with a guy, or another girl, or whatever’s in-between. i don’t have social media (besides this, but i’m not sure i count it as such as no one knows me and i like it that way) but she has twitter and i’m constantly checking on it! i get so upset sometimes when i see her interacting with others.