is this ocd

please can someone help me, almost a year ago i started talking to my boyfriends friend over messages he was being flirty and i think i was flirting back sometimes i felt confused and was unsure if i was in the right relationship with my boyfriend because i liked his attention i also complimented him and said some things i regret like i said to his friend that he was making me confused, his friend said he had feelings for me and i said we can’t talk any more if you feel that way, looking back i feel like i cheated and it haunts me every day i’m so scared, i told my boyfriend what happend but his friend doesn’t know i told my boyfriend though, i missed some parts out that the friend said to me because i was to scared to tell him. i feel like i don’t deserve him i feel like i have to think about it all the time els it’s all gonna go bad and everyone will find out i sort of flirted with him, i feel like i can’t be happy with my boyfriend because i feel like that is just in the background and it’s going to happen like it’s all going to be exposed, i wake up and it’s the first thing i think about i just feel so annoyed with myself i feel like screaming like why did i do that why did i flirt with him, he could easily go and tell everyone what happend like what if everyone already knows? and it makes me so anxious and scared to the point i can’t get out of bed , is it all in my head i don’t know? i feel like i have to ask my friends about it constantly asking if i cheated or should i leave him because i don’t deserve him and they say i’m overthinking but i feel like i have to think about it els something bad will happen, please someone help me , i feel suicidal because of this i hate myself so much i feel like i can’t live my life

Real Events OCD

becca.78

Date posted: 1y

i’m so sorry! this does sound like ocd to me. you have repetitive thoughts. if you’ve already told your boyfriend, then let it go. i know it will be hard. does your boyfriend think it was considered cheating? some people think flirting is cheating, others don’t. you did not physically do anything, i think you’re okay. if you haven’t had the full conversation with your boyfriend yet, then you must!! that’s the only way to heal. knowing what he feels will help you, and if he feels like you cheated, then you two can work that out together. everyone makes mistakes, we’re only human. ask for forgiveness, it will help. i hope you’re doing well

bon18

Date posted: 1y

@becca.78 thankyou so much for replying , he says he forgives me and he doesn’t think it’s cheating but i don’t believe him because i feel like he shouldn’t forgive me like it still feels like it’s all there, he tells me to stop thinking about it but i’m worried that if i stop thinking about it all then it’s going to come up again like i have to think about it, i feel so stuck, my friends said that i shouldn’t tell him what his friend said as that’s not what i said and just to move on from it all , thankyou so much

becca.78

Date posted: 1y

@bon18 i understand! maybe since you still get anxiety about it, you should tell him what his friend said to you. it may help you if you know that you’ve told him the full truth. honestly, i know it’s hard, but if he says he forgives you, then you must learn to forgive yourself. you have not forgiven yourself, therefore the thoughts come back. in my personal opinion, telling him and forgiving yourself, is the only way to heal and get some peace.

bon18

Date posted: 1y

@becca.78 thankyou so much i really appreciate this, im going to try to do that, thankyou

.Anonymous

Date posted: 14w

ROCD/False Memory

I suffer with a constant worry of what if I’ve cheated. You name it I’ve thought I’ve done it. I’m quite flirty at nature and also insecure. Sometimes hand in hand I don’t think they balance each other out as the constant need for attention to validate myself can backfire. Although I have the best partner ever and she makes me feel nothing less than beautiful I still crave validation from others. That being said someone I used to work with left over half a year ago and when they worked at my current place of work we were very close. Text everyday, phone calls you name it. However looking back I was extra flirty as I wanted him to fancy me. I wanted the power to turn him down to make myself feel better. Awful I know. Now all I can think about is what if I’ve done something. What if I kissed him. What if I’ve slept with him etc. I’ve kept our whole conversations from the minute I got his personal number. I constantly search key words to see if my intrusive thoughts are real. I can except the uncertainty my therapist tells me about as if I have done the worst and cheated I would loose my partner and our 10 year relationship. I love her so much she is my life but I can’t stop thinking what if I’ve cheated. Does anyone else suffer with the same theme? If so how do you cope?

Marrkk22

Date posted: 10w

Real event cheating

So I’m 22 and have had ocd my entire life. I’m about to hit 1 year in my relationship. I’m extremely happy and haven’t really had any rocd problems. Which is great. So here’s the problem. About 4-5 months into my new relationship I was bored one night and couldn’t sleep. I must’ve doom scrolled TikTok and Reddit for hours that night. Until finally I randomly thought about going on an anonymous chat site. I use to do this all the time back during covid when I was stuck in the house So for what ever reason I made a fake girl name and instantly connected to some random dude. I thought it was funny and decided to troll alittle cause why not I guess I just wanted to pass the time. He asked me where i worked and I said a bar (obv I don’t ) and he said “wow u must get hit on a lot u must be hot” and said yeah i do and then I felt really weird about it. So I closed the site down. Fast forward to now I felt like I cheated on my gf by flirting with another guy. Even tho I don’t like guys. It was months ago so I can’t rmeebr exactly how the text went but it was along those words and the convo had to been less then 3 minutes. Now since then all I can think is maybe I wanted the texts to go further. Or what if I said something sexual? What if I liked it sexually? On top of that, it was just a really weird one off thing I did. I mean I have no idea why I pretended to be a hot girl working at a bar lol. I guess I was just trolling or curious idk. Either way it would be really hard to explain to my gf and I don’t really want to tell her. Butttt , since I feel like I cheated I feel awful like I’m horrible person. These last 4 days I keep reading reddit post about ppl cheating on chat rooms and I keep googling to see if I should tell my gf or not. I understand sitting with uncertainty but I need to know desperately if I did something wrong bc my gf deserves to know. But like I said if I told her what happened it such a weird situation that she may think something serious happened. Also I dealt with a porn addiction at the time and I’ve gotten a lot better. So far I’ve been 3 days clean of watching porn and don’t even have the need too. How ever I think the real reason why I feel like I cheated was my intentions altho I went on just joking around I feel like I was on there for something sexual. Which I’m glad I never shared any personal things , pictures or anything graphic and the convo was less then 3 minutes long based off a fake character

DannyO507

Date posted: 9w

I need help

So I have been struggling with the same theme of ocd for 4 months now. My ocd centers around past events/false memories that ocd skews to make seem bad or it twists my thoughts on what my intentions were. this is related to cheating or being weird while I have been in my amazing relationship. I have never cheated on my partner and never will and I believe it is wrong. But my ocd is telling me other wise. I love my partner so very much and I would never want to hurt him but my brain is getting to me. I was getting better. I was trying “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t”, I have been back on meds and in therapy and I stopped confessing random interactions from years/months ago about 1.5 weeks ago and it really helped. But now I woke up this morning and feel the pit in my stomach again. I feel extra critical and like why would you do this? What does this say about you? What was your intention with this? And I’m just stuck mentally reviewing and ruminating on everything you could imagine. I know my personality and I know in the moment maybe I did find them attractive but mainly I was just being nice or funny or even just a good friend, but looking back now I’m like “was it flirting?” “Why did I still snap this person” “why would I even talk to them” and stuff like that. I feel this intense sense of guilt. I have told my partner everything that I keep getting stuck on and he didn’t care, he said he understands or “that’s a little weird but it’s okay” and hasn’t missed a beat. He said eveything I’ve told him is normal and I’ve heard that from my friends too. I just really need help. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so disappointed because I thought I was gonna be done with this, so why am I still so worried and caught up in this.

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