PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

What makes a thought an ocd thought?

I got back to this thought that yeah i dont want to act on my thoughts but what differenciate me from people who experience suicidal thoughts? Lot of people who has suicidal ocd had their obsession started from nowhere like they saw something on the news or heard something and then just a thought "what if i will do the same" got into their mind and they become obsessive over that, here you can see that theres no sight of genuine feelings, but i feel like mine started when i eas in high school and the lot of stress and negative experiences gave me this thought that i dont want to live. Im not sure tho, im just guessing cause my suicidal ocd gets so strong when i feel like i cant handle something and it feels genuine cause i feel weak and tired, but always im like no i dont want to get there, i dont want to do that,but i thought you dont have to be obsessive to have suicidal thoughts like anyone who suffers with suicidal thoughts can choose to say no i dont want this, how it differenciate me from them? Im not sure if this is rummination but sometimes i feel like its not just ocd cause of the situation that it comes. Like it comes up when im struggling, someone who is dealing with suicidal thoughts has the thoughts when they struggle too... So idk i just compared myself with those who say they just randomly have it and i felt like i dont have it randomly, sometimes it goes with the situation so it might be what suicidal people deal with, im just affraid of it so i say no i wont go there...

Suicidal OCD

Camogirl01

Date posted: 1y

So, this is what I have been experiencing since July of this year. All of a sudden, I had such an intrusive thought. It seemed so real that it happened in that moment. The thought was out of nowhere. It bothered me so much; I told my husband that night about it. I could tell it brought him distress as much as it did for me. It escalated from there. My OCD grabbed ahold of that and took it way out of proportion. It sent me through the darkest times of my life worrying if I was suicidal or if I would commit suicide. I have never in my life worried about something like that. But just recently I was told I had OCD, so it made more sense to me with several different things. But my belief is and will always be with that it is not an option for me because I want to get to heaven, and I know that is not the way to fix anything. I didn't think I would ever go through something like this or have those kinds of thoughts. I still worry about that and get the feelings and thoughts that it is what I want to do, however what has helped me is realizing that the power you give to the thoughts is what will reflect how you feel about it. Worrying so much about it made me think about if I would do that. I have graphic images pop into my head throughout the day, it's how I perceive them and realize it is okay to think and have those thoughts. OCD is a monster! It's a straight up bully! However, remember that OCD causes you to think it's not your OCD causing you to think that you would or are that. Stay strong in your beliefs. Stay strong to who you are and DON"T let OCD tell you different. Even as hard as it can be sometimes!

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

Thank you for commenting,for me it seems like you are in that group who randomly experienced these thoughts without any reason, while i said that i have this and i think it started when i had a bad experience and because of the sadness this popped into my mind but i denied it, i didnt wanted to accept that i had that thought and i was afraid of it. Since then im afraid of depression cause maybe the thoughts are real feelings and if I let myself be depressed then it will get stronger and then i have to deal with that...

Camogirl01

Date posted: 1y

@PRIV8 - You're welcome. I know I definitely have the random affect with the thoughts. I couldn't tell you where they come from or why. I know that the OCD grabbed ahold of the first intrusive thought and caused me so much distress and now I am here. One thing I know is try not to ignore the thoughts. That will bring the thoughts back stronger and more frequently. I know that the thoughts are so morbid and strange to our character but remember EVERYONE has intrusive thoughts even about what we are going through. We with OCD, can't just let it go through. We ponder on it and let it bully us. What I try to do, it let the thoughts in no matter how much it bothers me and what feelings I get and how my mind takes the thoughts and just creates all these things, I try to remember that they are just thoughts and the OCD. It is hard at times, but you do have the power to tell yourself you are worth more than that and you will get through this.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Hey there, I’ve dealt with something similar. I had like a dark cloud come over me in January , and I think I got so caught up in them I attached feelings to them. I was scared that I was going to do these things when I’m alone, but going to this therpay I have been able to be the bully to OCD.

Camogirl01

Date posted: 1y

Hello! I am so glad that you are being the bully to OCD! Can I ask what techniques you do to bully OCD?

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Camogirl01 Here are some things that my therapist told me and I use them anytime the thoughts come in the one that stuck out to me the most was “they are just words” and then I just laugh at them: Response Prevention Messages “maybe..maybe not” “I can’t know for sure” “just because I feel XYZ, does not mean with 100% certainty that it will…” “I don’t know” It’s possible that ______ could happen I don’t need to figure this out right now “I can’t know” “even if I XYZ, that does not mean XYZ 100% will come true” “just because it’s possible, doesn’t mean it’s probable” → Feelings are not facts!!!!! Discomfort is not Danger!!!!!! Disgust is not Danger!!!!! Sensations are sensations, not “signs” Urges are urges, not mandates. Thoughts are just thoughts, not threats. This is LITERALLY unsolvable. Everyone has to live with uncertainty in life. I don’t have to solve this problem (from Dr. Greenberg) I can handle the uncertainty I can cope with that uncertainty “More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” -Francois Gautier Do one thing that scares you everyday Seek discomfort Thoughts are not threats Sensations are not “signs” Curiously observe Should???? Failure is always an option Make mistakes OCD is a liar Doubt is not a red flag Maybe xyx and I are alike Maybe I am bad, Maybe I’m not I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I’ll acknowledge the possibility and not try to figure it out I have other things that I would like to focus on right now so I don’t need or want to answer this question Get comfortable with the uncomfortable

Camogirl01

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous - Those are awesome! So when you get a thought, is that some of the phrases you tell your self?

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Camogirl01 Yes mam, and I just breath through my emotions as well.

Camogirl01

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous I am starting my therapy and I’m hoping come Monday we learn ERP techniques. I am going to try and use those to see if they help me! I still worry about my thoughts and feelings but I know it is not what I want because it’s totally opposite of who I am. It bothers me immensely, but I have to remember that I am in control of my actions, OCD can make me want to perform my compulsions but I have a choice all the way around.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Camogirl01 Yes girl, you are gonna get through it. I still deal with these things day to day, but I have to tell myself today is gonna be a good day I don’t have to live yesterday and thinking like that helps me be grounded.

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous One thing that i still struggle with is the feeling of i cant do this,im not strong enough, whenever it gets so strong i feel like i cant and then i feel guilt cause its like im actually wanting to entertain ocd cause i cant handle it...

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

I just share what i experience now. The whole day was bad in case of ocd and i constantly feel like i cant do this, i cant heal,i dont know how to do it, and then the suicidal thoughts comes and it gives to these emotions and its like its genuine... im not just experiencing it like a random thought, it comes when i feel helpless, i disagree with these thoughts but i dont do much with that cause i already feel helpless then i feel shame that i thought about suicide...

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

@PRIV8 I always feel like my case is different, i know everyone feels that but when you cant find people who relate to you, its normal to feel that...

cows12465

Date posted: 24w

suic. ocd tips

so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.

cows12465

Date posted: 24w

suic. ocd advice?

Conquering_OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w

Knowing the difference

Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.

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What makes a thought an ocd thought?

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