- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Well it’s very normal for straight people to think a girl is good looking. It’s different when you desire to be with that girl. Like a crush.
- Date posted
- 5y
Even really that “it’s possible” makes me want to vomit. Like I just got sooo hot and nauseous feeling.
- Date posted
- 5y
I know what you mean. The attraction thing gets sooo muddled though just from all the analysis. Like it’s so exhausting.
- Date posted
- 5y
I know that that’s the point. Like I know at one point in my life I probably thought “what if I was a lesbian” and was like whatever probably not and shrugged it off. But I don’t know how to get back to that. It’s like I have to have anxiety about these thoughts because if I don’t then it means I’m accepting them and they’re true.
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel like someone who is actually a lesbian doesn’t go back and forth like we do. Also they have different fears connected to why they don’t want to come out. With ocd, there are much different reasons.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m right there with you! For me, I get so exhausted because I keep going back through my history and thinking about things I did and said and thought and then it really freaks me out. Like I remember thinking Stella from OITNB (aka Ruby Rose) was like good looking and I remember admitting that and now I can’t stop thinking about it. Like why did I even say that? A straight person wouldn’t have said that. So clearly this is proof I’m not straight. I just keep wishing I could go back in time and take it back.
- Date posted
- 5y
So I don’t think that’s proof. It’s possible it is but I don’t think so.
- Date posted
- 5y
The only reason I said that was because I was trying not to give you reassurance. What I’m trying to remember is if I don’t want to be something I don’t have to be it. I always have thoughts like “what if when I get older I’m like that?” “What if I’ve never actually liked guys?” Almost all ocd thoughts are what if ones. That also helps. If you feel sick thinking about being with a girl then you don’t want to be with one. I used to feel so sick a couple months ago but now I’m so used to the thoughts I don’t feel sick anymore and that scares me. I used to wake up in the morning and my stomach would hurt from all the anxiety I couldn’t eat because I felt terrible. I’m at the point where I want it to not be true and some days I know it’s not true but I just can’t get out. I’m stuck in a hell I don’t want to be in. It’s terrible.
- Date posted
- 5y
What’s crazy to me is I was on tik tok if you know what that is and I found this guy super attractive. I’ve always been super into mixed guys they just attract me more than other guys idk why? But shouldn’t that be proof? I like guys period. My mind just doesn’t get it
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah it really is. I know I’ve been getting better I just think having no more anxiety and not feeling as bad about the thoughts is confusing me
- Date posted
- 5y
I know I just need to stop worrying and I know that’s easier said then done obviously. What I’m going to do is remember that it’s always been like this! The same stuff over and over. It has to be ocd, if I was a lesbian I would not point blank period
- Date posted
- 5y
The way to win ocd is to make your brain not get triggered by these thoughts. Doing this is hard but imo you need to stop trying to tell yourself you are not a lesbian as that may be a compulsion. If possible tell yourself that you are a lesbian and try to think about all the consequences you fear over and over again without trying to get reasurance. I know it's hard but once you make your brain to stop fearing beeing a lesbian ocd gets wrecked.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 13w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
- Date posted
- 9w
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
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