I have really bad HIV OCD. I had a really low risk "hiv exposure" when I was a kid (16 or 17) with my high school boyfriend. This was 7 years ago and I've taken 2 BioSURE HIV tests since then and both were negative, but I just cannot accept it. Anytime anyone I know gets ill I think it's because I've passed on hiv to them somehow, and it's worse with my brother as we used to rough and tumble all the time as kids/teens. I'm back in that place where everything feels dark and I'm riddled with guilt and anxiety.

Yeh, then do that as soon as possible. Just get the test done at on of the NHS clinics. Hope you feel better soon .

Firstly HIV dosent transmit so easily. Having been involved in health care, if it was that easy everyone will have HIV . But I'm sure you have been tested and had multiple reassurances from professional, so clearly that dosent calm your mind. I will say when HIV thoughts come, do not block them. Let them come. By not blocking and being with these thoughts/anxiety it will dissapeared soon, like very soon

BioSURE tests are self tests, they apparently have a 99.7% accuracy rate. I think the NHS uses them too, but I just can't shake the feeling of thinking I have HIV and have passed it on. I've not had reassurance from a professional, I'm considering going to the GUM clinic on Monday for something even more conclusive. Although BioSURE does say that as long as you test after 12 weeks the result is conclusive.

@skhaan I’m in a pickle myself can you give me some advice seeing as you worked in health care? I washed my hands to the point of cracking and bleeding. Yesterday my hand was bleeding fresh blood and I got on a train. I accidentally knocked my cut skin on the plastic headrest of the train seat. When I looked up there was what looked like fresh blood there. I’m not sure if it was mine or not, because I didn’t notice any before I sat down, but if it was someone else’s blood, I’m panicking I now have hiv in my cut The hiv helpline said no it’s not a risk, as did the sexual health helpline, but I’m thinking “they’re obviously not listening to me” or “what if they don’t understand the situation I’m explaining” The last guy I spoke to said they’d tell me if there was a risk because they’re in deep trouble if they don’t but I’m so on edge because I don’t wanna pass it to my partner