ROCD spikes

So today my boyfriend asked me what my ring size is and said not to think into it to much. And then my sister in law keeps HINTING that something big is happening sometime soon. Maybe I’m over thinking but I think my boyfriend is going to propose to me soon. I have wanted to marry him forever. We talk about marriage and babies all the time. Our six year anniversary is on the 20th. Why is ocd trying to scare me. Like it’s latching onto an exciting thought. I had a real bad ocd spiral yesterday and I’m a bit fragile right now. I think I just need to get back into ERP. But ugh I hate the little sparks of like anxiety or fear that Is trying to grab me.

adtappsy

Date posted: 1y

You’ll never know if he’s the “right” person for you, but he’s the one you’re with. Maybe you’ll be with him forever and maybe you won’t, but you’re gonna live your life and stay with this man you love until something changes. I tell myself that every few months when I decide I don’t like my girlfriend and suddenly notice all the things about her I find unattractive. OCD doesn’t make my decisions for me and it doesn’t make them for you. You got this!

Dj-is-living

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@adtappsy Thank you! I needed this reminder. I’m in the driver seat, not ocd.

JordTheNord

Date posted: 1y

It’s common to feel nervous no matter who it is for a big awesome occasion! You got this 😊

Dj-is-living

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@JordTheNord It goes to show that ocd really is opposite of who we are. I want more then anything to be a wife and a mom. I want to be his wife and the mother of his kids. And ocd has me fearful of it. Even though it’s literally been my goal for years. It’s nauseating

JordTheNord

Date posted: 1y

@Dj-is-living It is lol. It’s the friend nobody likes. You are here but damn you still gotta keep doing what you doing even though I invite you to all these places lmao

spyro

Date posted: 1y

This is a common situation for OCD to latch on to. It shows what you care most about. Try to focus on your values and not add fuel to the fire.

Dj-is-living

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@spyro Thank you. I might have to get back into therapy just to brush up on my therapy skills. Because this week has been difficult. A lot of big things will be happening in my life and I’m so afraid that my ocd will ruin it, I love him so damn much. I just want ocd to leave me alone and let me enjoy my life with him. Good lord.

spyro

Date posted: 1y

@Dj-is-living I know it’s so hard. I have a wonderful girlfriend, my first healthy relationship and she’s just so sweet and kind and lovely. I have this constant paranoia that she’s cheating on me… like constantly and living a double life because I cannot believe that I deserve a happy relationship finally, even though I chose her because that’s what I wanted. She has stuck by me and supports me, but whenever we are really close and happy and things are very calm I often ruin it by causing issues due to my constant obsession that the whole relationship is a lie. I wish I could just enjoy my first happy relationship, but honestly I’m scared to be happy. I’m scared the rug will be pulled from beneath my feet and that I can’t trust life. Woah that’s a lot. Sorry I just ended up blurting stuff out. Basically we’re all in this together. Brains have dodgy ways of protecting us sometimes. Going back to therapy sounds like a good idea!

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