- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
It is worth it, my friend. Even if you don’t believe it yet, there is hope and you can come through this. You’ve come too far to give up now. Just hold on❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
You know, this ocd is crazy. I’ve never been professionally diagnosed but I think I have pure o, it’s literally been the worst year of my life. First it was harm ocd, then now it’s hocd. The worst most painful thing of my life. Like some one said, I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. It’s crazy how powerful our mind is. It’s really scary. We’ll have to be okay, and we will be. You’re not alone, no one here is.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m going through HOCD and it sucks, I know! But I’ve also been through Harm OCD and it felt just as real as this. I used to pray for God to kill me and promise to myself I’d just kill myself if it didn’t end after three years. With a lot of ERP work though, I got over my Harm OCD completely. And let me tell you, I’m so glad I didn’t hurt myself. OCD SUCKS, but it has also pushed me so far out of my comfort zone, in bad ways and good ways. It pushed me to fight my fears and study abroad, and to become a sorority recruitment counselor, two of the best experiences of my life thus far. It sucks, but dying isn’t the answer. As crazy as it sounds, there are good sides to OCD, too. It makes you motivated and driven, and surprisingly more like to do things that make you uncomfortable. You’ll have bad days and good days and great days. But please believe me when I say the worst day with OCD is still a million times better than any day dead. What helped me most with HOCD was when my therapist said, “you don’t have to know your sexuality until the end of your senior year of college.” I’m feeling so much better now! You will, too! Postpone your worry for a year because you’re not in the right frame of mind to figure it out. Sending prayers your way!
- Date posted
- 5y
I understand the fatigue ocd can bring. Find a professional to help you- it may be a long process and the first one or two may not be a good fit for you but keep going. Find a counselor at your school, college or in your community if you need a place to start looking for help. I don’t suggest any religious counselors as black and white thinking may make symptoms worse. Get to someone who specializes in ocd or at least anxiety in the meantime
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you all so much. It's awesome to know that I'm not alone. Sometimes it's hard to keep bottling everything, it's just too much going on in my mind. I just wish life was more simple, that I wasn't an overthinker, and that the future I want, by the side of a man, wasn't so uncertain. What ifs flood my mind 24/7.
- Date posted
- 5y
There will be times of relief that make it all worth it- you will manage and recover with the right help!!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
- Date posted
- 17w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
- Date posted
- 17w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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