- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
It is worth it, my friend. Even if you don’t believe it yet, there is hope and you can come through this. You’ve come too far to give up now. Just hold on❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
You know, this ocd is crazy. I’ve never been professionally diagnosed but I think I have pure o, it’s literally been the worst year of my life. First it was harm ocd, then now it’s hocd. The worst most painful thing of my life. Like some one said, I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. It’s crazy how powerful our mind is. It’s really scary. We’ll have to be okay, and we will be. You’re not alone, no one here is.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m going through HOCD and it sucks, I know! But I’ve also been through Harm OCD and it felt just as real as this. I used to pray for God to kill me and promise to myself I’d just kill myself if it didn’t end after three years. With a lot of ERP work though, I got over my Harm OCD completely. And let me tell you, I’m so glad I didn’t hurt myself. OCD SUCKS, but it has also pushed me so far out of my comfort zone, in bad ways and good ways. It pushed me to fight my fears and study abroad, and to become a sorority recruitment counselor, two of the best experiences of my life thus far. It sucks, but dying isn’t the answer. As crazy as it sounds, there are good sides to OCD, too. It makes you motivated and driven, and surprisingly more like to do things that make you uncomfortable. You’ll have bad days and good days and great days. But please believe me when I say the worst day with OCD is still a million times better than any day dead. What helped me most with HOCD was when my therapist said, “you don’t have to know your sexuality until the end of your senior year of college.” I’m feeling so much better now! You will, too! Postpone your worry for a year because you’re not in the right frame of mind to figure it out. Sending prayers your way!
- Date posted
- 5y
I understand the fatigue ocd can bring. Find a professional to help you- it may be a long process and the first one or two may not be a good fit for you but keep going. Find a counselor at your school, college or in your community if you need a place to start looking for help. I don’t suggest any religious counselors as black and white thinking may make symptoms worse. Get to someone who specializes in ocd or at least anxiety in the meantime
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you all so much. It's awesome to know that I'm not alone. Sometimes it's hard to keep bottling everything, it's just too much going on in my mind. I just wish life was more simple, that I wasn't an overthinker, and that the future I want, by the side of a man, wasn't so uncertain. What ifs flood my mind 24/7.
- Date posted
- 5y
There will be times of relief that make it all worth it- you will manage and recover with the right help!!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 15w
I just can’t do this shit anymore.im tired of these “arousal” sensations that feel real but when I go check my arousal to the same gender I just get anxiety. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t like girls anymore. I’m tired of my arousal getting blocked every now and then because I’m anxious. I’m tired of not knowing who I am anymore. I’m tired of having my mind putting me into an identity I never asked for. I’m tired of this life
- Date posted
- 14w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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