- Date posted
- 1y
Real Event OCD/Gronial Response/ Rumination
I was making so much progress with my OCD, but now I feel like im back at square one with a new OCD obsession š¤¦š¾āāļø Its so uncomfortable to talk about because i feel like since most the people I know donāt understand OCD and how it works they will look at me weird and crazy. I was on twitter a few days ago and seen a tweet saying that there was some āhorse videoā going around and I immediately had a past memory of when I was in high school !!!! TRIGGER WARNING!!!! I was in bed at night mas/urbating as a teenager would occasionally do, and was on instagram watching p/rn, and unexpectedly & involuntarily came across a very odd video of a women and a horse doing yk what, and I KNOW that it wasnāt something I continued watching or enjoyed obviously, but my OCD is convincing me that I did because I was in an aroused state at that time before seeing the video & also because I canāt fully remember that moment or what happened because it was so long ago. I KNOW in my heart that is not in my character to EVER watch or enjoy anything like that so this is really bothering me because I keep questioning if im a weird person or if I enjoyed it⦠Its so frustrating because everytime I remember because of the continuous thought, I get a gronial response and I feel like I canāt be comfortable around my boyfriend or my dogs because the thought keeps popping up. I HATE OCD it literally has made me lose myself and question who I am as a person šŖšŖšŖ I really wish I didnāt get on twitter a few days ago because I was finally feeling like my OCD was gone⦠I just wish I could get rid of this its a constant bully and the gronial response makes it even worse because I feel like now whenever I actually want to participate in a romantic act I will remember this or atleast my OCD is telling me that.