Struggling with guilt over past mistakes in my relationship.

i feel like a bad person

i feel like a bad person. i’ve made a lot of mistakes in my relationship which my bf has forgiven me for but i can’t help but feel like a horrible person. my mind keeps going back to every mistake i’ve made an i feel the need to tell my bf every single thing. an i think stuff i don’t want to think which ik i can’t help and alot of the time idk if it’s intrusive thoughts or normal thoughts everyone does but i just can’t help feeling like my bf would hate me if he knew the rest of my mistakes he knows a majority of them we both agreed not to tell him anything else bc it doesn’t matter but idk i just feel so awful and i get panic attacks an just really bad episodes bc of the guilt of everything i honestly just want it to go away.

Username: Carly HCarly H

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

This is almost exactly what I was going through for the last four months. It is really awesome that you have chosen not to tell him anything else. That is an accomplishment in and of itself! I used to feel the need to confess every little thing, even when I could see it was doing more harm. I practiced my ERP and trained my brain not to want to confess or ruminate on past mistakes. Keep going!

Username: ineedhelplololineedhelplolol

Date posted: 1y ago

@Carly H ik i’ve actually been doing really well with not confessing anything else but recently a thought has come up about something to do with his friend i don’t know if it’s false attraction or if it’s just me being horrible or if it’s just normal but for me and my bfs relationship tht stuff isn’t really normal (we get really jealous over this kind of stuff) and ik i wouldn’t like it if he felt tht way ab someone so it’s got me just feeling really horrible and needing to confess especially since it’s ab his friend

Username: ineedhelplololineedhelplolol

Date posted: 1y ago

@ineedhelplolol he also knows about a lot of stuff and is okay with it he knows i can’t help it but i still just feel like hypocrite if it’s not false attraction and it’s got me spiraling

Username: Carly HCarly H

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

What I can't offer is reassurance, because that doesn't help in the long run. What I can say is that not confessing is the right thing to do, even when it feels wrong. Months ago I was begging my mom to let me have my phone so I could call my fiance to confess something I thought I remembered. I went to the bathroom and called him secretly. I was so mad at myself after I did it because I had made so much progress. You are committed to the process of ERP. Think of it as part of your job right now. You are required to work through this and hang on, even if it feels like the hardest thing ever, because it really does. You are so strong!

Username: NewToOCD8NewToOCD8

Date posted: 1y ago

Confessing is your compulsion. Resist it. It will be difficult and feel like the wrong thing at first (even though it’s not…you both agreed to not confess past things any longer). So, resist the urge. You have to train your brain that the urge/thought to confess isn’t a real issue that needs to be addressed. The longer you can go without confessing the more and more your mind will quit bringing those things to your attention.

Username: Scared1Scared1

Date posted: 1y ago

You’re not a bad person. You sound like a kind, loving person who doesn’t want to hurt your bf or be responsible for wrong doings towards him. He knows this, which is why he’s asked you not to tell him anything more. He knows you have good intentions. You’ve got this.

Username: Survivor.03Survivor.03

Date posted: 1y ago

You are not alone in this battle; learn to separate yourself from the OCD. In the moment, it feels impossible to control your compulsions and stop reassurance-seeking/confessing. I struggle with this very situation as well but try to remember that you’re feeding your OCD when you interact with compulsions💗

Username: SL1K

Date posted: 1y ago

i cant act normal like nothings happened.

i’m only 15 i cant. i cant. i don’t even know if it’s real event ocd. it feels like massive weights on me. i cant live just acting like everything’s normal. like i haven’t made mistakes. if people knew the mistakes i’ve made because i didn’t know they were wrong everyone would hate me. i don’t deserve my relationship. i don’t deserve my friendships. i don’t deserve anything. i just want to cry and hold friends and my partner but i’d feel guilty because i feel like the worst person i know. i don’t know how i can just “act normal” and “leave stuff in the past” and “not confess” “move forward and focus in present “ :(

Username: sofiarenee

Date posted: 1y ago

relationship ocd. so tired.

so back in july i made a mistake of going behind my partner’s back and hanging out with an old guy friend (who i had a romantic past with) and while i was hanging out with him i had a great time but man my thoughts were going crazy. i found him attractive, funny, etc. i’ve known him for years and everytime we would talk i felt there was some type of tension. like romantic or something. well i felt it again when we hung out and immediately regretted it because i know i love my boyfriend a lot and i felt like a horrible person for doing something like that. i couldn’t hide it from him any longer than i did (not even 3 days) so i told him and he got really upset. at the time i didn’t know what i want, either my boyfriend or that friend. i decided to stay with my boyfriend and ever since i’ve been getting crazy intrusive thoughts about my old friend (i blocked him so i don’t have contact with him). a few months later (now) i know that i want and love my boyfriend, i don’t want to be with anyone else. but i’ve been getting so many intrusive thoughts about that guy and seeing certain posts just remind me of him even when i don’t want them to. then my brain starts to spiral - ‘what if you actually want to be with him instead and you’re just in denial right now’ or something like ‘you dont love your boyfriend, if you did you wouldnt be having these thoughts’ and i’m just so..drained. i’m so tired of thinking about this guy, i seriously don’t want to think about him. i just want to be happy with my boyfriend. i keep telling myself i know what i want, because i do. i want to be with my bf and i want to be happy with him…i love him so much. but my brain just tries to tell me otherwise. i know i messed up and i’m paying the price for it. maybe i do deserve this. i just wish i could erase everything, my past, etc. and just move on. my boyfriend doesn’t hold what i did against me but he’s well aware of what happened and i know how it made him feel. i would do anything to take it back because he doesn’t deserve that, he never did. and i seriously want to be better for him. but these constant thoughts i get are always getting in the way and almost making me feel hopeless. i haven’t told my bf about these thoughts because i’m worried he would take it the wrong way. i really don’t think i should tell him because i know for a fact it would send us both down a spiral and i don’t want that. but, ocd will always try to get what it wants. anyone else going through something similar? some common humanity would probably ease my mind a bit. (in a non-compulsive way. or maybe this is a compulsion. idk.)

Relationship OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 43w ago

I’m tired

I don’t really know what to do anymore I feel bad all the time and when I take my medicine I feel bad for not feeling bad all these memories are on repeat in my head and it doesn’t stop. I’m convinced i’m the worst person ever and I deserve everything bad that happens to me and I think I do. I did things that are actually bad and I don’t know how to fix them and the guilt eats away at me i feel like i’m living a lie and hiding my dirty secrets from everyone. It’s like how could I have not realized these things were wrong. I feel disgusted with myself and I don’t know what to do

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Struggling with guilt over past mistakes in my relationship.

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community