Ok

@Gabby123go Thank you.. idk I know I know people go through things but I feel like I’m the absolute worst and am just sabotaging everything

@Tryingtogetoutofmyhead Super exhausting. It’s this weird post I made earlier that is honestly so odd

@Tryingtogetoutofmyhead For a while now and even til this day, whenever I’m even typing a message or rethinking or imagining a convo in my head for whatever reason alot of the time it’s as if I can’t even control how the voice sounds? Like it sounds like it could be a child and it’s beyond aggravating and it weirds me out. Now I wonder if I’ve ever had some groinal response to this and when I ruminate I feel like it’s def happened and it’s so odd. It’s very specific and I can’t stand it and don’t know why it happens

@ck99 That sounds rough! I will say I haven't experienced that specific thought. But what I can say is to not focus on the why it happens. Trying to figure out the root of a thought can result in rumination, which can make the obsession of the thought worse. Are you in any type or ERP or therapy to help with this?

@Tryingtogetoutofmyhead I can’t help but focus on why 😭I feel like it’s more evidence. And I am not in ERP! I couldn’t afford any other therapy sessions

@remireillyy Thank you so much, but yeah I know I am def looking for reassurance but it’s so hard not to

@D:) Thank you so much ❤️

@ck99 Question, when you say you can't control how the voice sounds, what do you mean by that? I may have had something similar

@Invalid It’s hard to explain, I guess it’s just an automatic thing?? Like the voice will just sound a certain way automatically. I hope that makes sense!

@Invalid A lot of the time it’s like a kids voice or high pitched voice, so it’s def not anyone I know specifically. It can kind of sound like it’s another person but not really, it’s so hard to explain sorry. Like if I’m typing this right now and I’m sayin to myself in my head it isn’t my voice at all, just sounds very different. It doesn’t happen every single time but often enough that I notice it and it’s very annoying

@Invalid But yes it’s almost like I can’t control since it feels like it’s automatic. Even reading certain comments it’ll be read in a certain voice. It sounds so silly I know

@ck99 OK I've not had that one myself. I had audible hallucinations with my ocd when younger. Does the voice ever talk on its own or just when you read?

@Invalid Interesting, I feel like it talks on its own but not so much in a hallucination way. My mind just seems very messy at times so it isn’t just when I’m reading, it’ll be when imagining someone say something to me or something like that. The best way to explain is it feels as if I’ve forgotten what some people sound like? It’s the weirdest thing ever and just disturbs me cuz the voices sound way younger

@ck99 Almost like a default placeholder voice when you forget how someone sounds, or don't know how someone sounds?

@Invalid I’d say the former I think!

@ck99 I think there's a YouTuber that has something similar. I'll double check

@Invalid Thanks so much! It was a reach for me to post about this tbh lmfao

@Invalid No way, I’ve never heard of them but that’s interesting. Thank you for trying to find the video I appreciate it! I’m not sure what my situation means tbh I think because of my theme it has triggered me more and that’s why I was curious if anyone could relate

@ck99 Maybe it has no reason at all that it sounds young. I had a total of 3. 2 when I was young for about 2 years. And 1 this year which was for about 2 weeks. All sounded different

@Invalid Oh wow I see. Mine just varies, mostly just sounds like a girl, or a younger girl specifically. Right now my mind feels empty so it’s pretty normal feeling right now

@ck99 First two I had sounded like a psychopath / devil, and a quieter one that encourages it. Kind if like a Disney villain and the stereotypical advisor whispering in its ear. The recent one sounded completely different and like a normal person who was convincing me I loved my friend. Its odd. I have no advice for the reading bit but if it ever talks on its own I have advice for it which I figured out on my own. It works. My therapist said she was even going to try use that to help other people

@Invalid The first 2 are terrifying, I’m sorry you had to experience that, especially when you were younger. I guess I’ve heard that there are intrusive voices, which might sound like what you experienced maybe? What did you tell your therapist that helped you?

@ck99 Yeh those 2 years were hell. Basically the thing that I figured out and why I was able to get rid of the most recent one was not so much listen to the words that they're saying but the emotion behind them. Then figure out why you would feel that way. Basicwresd between the lines. You know when sometimes someone lashes out or argues over the smallest thing but they're actually upset about something else?

@Invalid That’s very smart actually. But yes I know exactly what you mean by your last sentence, I kind of had a bad habit of doing that. Like if I’m irritated about something and I lash out it’s mostly from other underlying triggers. It’s bad I know. In your case with the 2 voices what emotion did you equate that to?

@ck99 Resentment towards my parents and guilt, definitely guilt. The thing that triggered my ocd was traumatic and felt guilty for it like I was a bad person. These voices told me to do the worst stuff imaginable. Never gave in but every night was a fight for 2 years

@Invalid I’m so sorry, that must’ve been tough. I can very much relate with the guilt, and I absolutely have resentment toward my parents so that’s relatable too. I’m glad you’ve gotten that under control now and have the resources necessary now that you know you have OCD

@Invalid I joined that discord link and there are many members, so maybe others will have similar experiences

@ck99 That's good. I hope the discord group helps. 😊

@Invalid Thank you!