TapDrumRoll

Date posted: 1y

10 on 10 scale ANXIETY

I’m at my new job for almost a month and BOOM! This spiral I’m in is paralyzing and I can BARELY function. I want to run. I want to hide. I want to scream. I want to cry. All I can think of “I need to call my Psych and get on some meds. I can’t do this. I don’t know why this is happening. I need meds!” This job, great hours, pay, location, people, everything. I’ve been dealing with this since beginning but in drabs, sporadic panic and I’ve managed it. Today, FULL BLOWN PANIC. Tunnel vision, I’ve forgotten what I’ve learned, I cant even speak, everything is slowing down in my mind and cognitive functions. Over 40 years this has been happening. OCD specialized tells me I’m not OCD. I’m soooooooo confused. I’m just sick to my stomach. Thanks I must go back and face 26 people to check them in face to face. I am so burnt in this ANXIETY. Sorry for rant. It’s all I can do

Wiseblood

Date posted: 1y

I hear you! I hate this disease. It tries to take from us the things that we value. It is a liar and bully! Try your best to focus on the work and make a little room for the anxiety instead of trying to make it go away. Good luck!

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y

The music, breathing exercises and manifestation practicing is all good. Keep that up. What do you mean by the last bit?

TapDrumRoll

Date posted: 1y

@Invalid I’m always trying just to get by as “normal” to people, but really feel abnormal covering up. Not fully living just surviving.

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y

@AnonymousROCK What's normal to you?

Readytorecover

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

There’s a man by the name of Shaan Kassam on YouTube who suffered this badly from panic and he has wonderful videos that might be a huge help to you

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y

Do you know what's triggering it?

TapDrumRoll

Date posted: 1y

@Invalid Life is my trigger. Most days I wake up panicked. But then, on way to work, after listening to light jazz, breathing exercises, sometimes being my own cheerleader and saying out loud “You got this. I love you! Just do your best.” And I might get in there and feel a little anxious, but can get through. I’m always wanted to get through, but not really living.

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y

When I ask that question, I mean not normal for yourself, what others are doing that you feel is normal for them

TapDrumRoll

Date posted: 1y

@Invalid Normal people= Self confident, relaxed, able to roll with anything that comes their way.

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y

@AnonymousROCK Normal is a perception for me. Is that normal what you want to be?

TapDrumRoll

Date posted: 1y

@Invalid Yes that is normal to me. Actually I was worried and exhausted all night. I woke up anxious and instead of thinking what I didn’t want to happen I focused on all the good that can and will happen. I essentially, took a stand for myself . Before negative thoughts could flood my brain, I thought of happy thoughts, a song, an event that I enjoyed and smiling faces if people I have met. Then I listened to some music while I got ready. I know that I don’t make enough time to put my mind on other things. I go home usually, and ready for the next workday, and worry about how tomorrow will go. So I am all consumed with what will be, may be afraid to be. I will have to now train myself, think of good and substitute for all those whirlwind of uncertainties and dissuade or distract my mind to happy things. Today has been pretty good. I was really worried last night. I was googling types of OCD and watching video until I had to sleep. I really was beating myself up and felt defeated. I will now try to reprogram what is acceptable and unacceptable to dwell on. ❤️

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y

@AnonymousROCK It's a step in the right direction. You know who you want to be. Keep that in mind especially when its toughest. Failures are just bumps on the road to recovery. The can slow you down but can't stop you. Keep moving.

TapDrumRoll

Date posted: 1y

Thank you! I will look him up.

Flower1004

Date posted: 24w

It’s been getting worse..

Just sorta to vent and maybe get advice… I normally struggle with OCD and other MH/ medical issues.. I’ve sorta become acclimated to the stress, pain, mind games, and constant perfectionism. I thought I had it under control but this OCD has just been creeping back in small ways over time. I’ve caught myself doing behaviors and not feeling able to stop it. (This is combo of OCD but not sure how to categorize it all) - compulsively counting body movements til it’s the right number and feeling - adjusting papers/rewritten notes numerous times - irrational thoughts of my new pup being dead when I check on her - irrational thoughts that I don’t love my partner or he doesn’t love me after almost 10 years - every plate, cup, utensil has to be properly inspected before being able to use it - food can not have day of expiration (or even close to it) or a weird look or smell = it is inedible - recent close call accident led to dread driving and constant thoughts of a crash even though I did what I could and didn’t crash The list just keeps going.. but it has simply been a struggle that has lead me to feeling self conscious, unprofessional, childish, ashamed, and crazy. It’s a hard thing to accept that this has begun to return after finding ways to cope and manage in the past. I am struggling with finding ways to cope with it all cuz it is constantly disturbing my relationship, work, and personal well being Well that’s my truth for the day

wiki_xo

Date posted: 24w

A nurse with OCD

I just started my new job maybe a couple months ago and I’m officially off orientation. I had a couple shifts by myself but the anxiety I feel being alone is honestly beastly. I keep getting scared that I’ll end up giving my patients someone else’s medications, keep having thoughts of “what if I give patient A medications to patient C.” My hair keeps falling out, I get such bad pre work and post work anxiety. On my days off all I think about is work. It’s taking a toll on my mental health and my relationship with my boyfriend. I am mad and stressed all the time. I’m just so tired and I honestly feel like I’m getting depressed. I want to stick it out a couple more months so I can get a job somewhere that’s not in a hospital. I just feel so stuck and scared all the time. If anyone else is a nurse with OCD what did you do to help with your anxiety and OCD?

Young adults with OCD

Disko

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

Struggling in a new job healthcare

It’s been a really long time since I’ve been here. I’m about to go back to school for nursing. But right now I’m working as a nursing assistant in the hospital. Idk if it’s my body adjusting to seeing new INTENSE things every day or shoving so much information into me at once with long 12 hour shifts. And when I’m at work and conscious it’s completely fine. But when I come home and sleep I wake up from bad dreams. Yesterday at work there were maybe 10 rapids (when you call an emergency for your patient, don’t always have a good ending) and I woke up this morning remembering my dream that I was in the hospital and my heart stopped and they had to call a rapid on me. Maybe it’s not even OCD??? And it’s just heavy heavy stuff that I’ve never seen before and it’s just my brain and body adjusting to life and things that can be really scary. It just feels a bit like when my OCD was bad and I’m scared I’m really in my head right now I don’t want it to get worse. Can anyone relate???

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10 on 10 scale ANXIETY

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