- Extremely low risk sexual encounter 7 years ago that was SO unlikely to transmit HIV. - The person was my boyfriend, we were 16-17, even more unlikely to have HIV. - 7 years with no symptoms. - 2 BioSURE HIV tests with negative results. - BioSURE has a 99.7% accuracy rate. - Negative results are 99.99% accurate and considered conclusive at 12 week post possible exposure. Yet here I am still terrified I have HIV. What the fuck?

Cheeks

Date posted: 5y ago

Yeah. Literally my post shows the insurmountable evidence I have that I do not have HIV yet it just refuses to believe it.

melancholy

Date posted: 5y ago

You are preaching to the choir. *Touches door knob at doctors office* my brain: what if there was blood on that? You have a paper cut on your finger, you know. You might want to get tested for HIV once the incubation period has passed. Absolutely ridiculous garbage Brain in my head

melancholy

Date posted: 5y ago

Also I was worried about HIV this evening from my boyfriend even though he’s literally shown me his testing papers and been tested twice during our relationship and I know he’s not cheating but am afraid of encounters he had in fucking *2015* and has been tested multiple times since ??

melancholy

Date posted: 5y ago

Dude Everytime I worry about HIV and I go and get tested it’s always negative. I feel better for about a month or two. Then rinse and repeat.

Cheeks

Date posted: 5y ago

I know right? What the fuck. My encounter according to statistics actually has negligible odds of transmission, so much so that they don't even have official numbers. Why can't we just believe the tests? Lol I also made my now boyfriend get tested before we ever were intimate and he was negative but sometimes I worry he isn't.

melancholy

Date posted: 5y ago

I also looked up the encounter stats too! Also made my boyfriend get tested before we ever did and THEN again two months ago (we’ve been together a year) because I somehow justified the possibility and he was nice enough to go do it and bring me the unopened letter from the medical office with the results lol. You do not HIV. Your man does not have HIV. I do not have HIV. My man does not have HIV. Let’s make a chant, lmfao. If I didn’t still have these HIV fears, my ocd would pretty much be non-existent. It’s the only battle I’ve left to conquer after a long history of bullshit with this illness.

melancholy

Date posted: 5y ago

Do not have*

Cheeks

Date posted: 5y ago

We seem to be on somewhat similar levels as my hiv OCD is like the only OCD I have now. If I conquered it then I'd have very little left to get rid of.

melancholy

Date posted: 5y ago

Yes same here!!!

Cheeks

Date posted: 5y ago

I once saw someone say you can get ultimate reassurance with a hiv test but we've both taken multiple and we still panic.

melancholy

Date posted: 5y ago

Exactly. I think there’s a lack of understanding at just how magnificent ocd is at wiggling itself out of any logical scenario.

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y ago

Ugh guys I am panicking too I had a small cut that bled on my knuckle yesterday from dry hands (washing too much) I got on the train with my currently Bleeding hand and accidentally knocked my hand on the plastic headrest I didn’t notice if there was blood there before or I did that but when I looked up there was fresh blood there. Now I’m scared I have hiv from the blood on the train seat in my new cut I called the hiv helpline and sexual health helpline multiple times and they all say I’m not at risk because it dies quickly in the air, and it would have to be a large open wound and large quantities of blood in my wound BUT WHAT IF

vizzy15

Date posted: 10w ago

So-ocd

Im a 21 year old female in a straight relationship with the best guy a girl could ever ask for. About 2 months ago, I went to get coffee with a friend and as I dropped her off, I got a “weird” vibe from her and the look she gave me which lead to the thought of “should I kiss her”….Ive never had a thought like that before and I never have ever wanted to kiss another girl. I have also never had a desire to be with another girl (sexually or romantically). Now though, I have had one other experience of being with a different friend going to get lunch and it felt weird. Ever since then I have been on google non stop with hundreds of different searches, questioning if im lying to myself of my boyfriend, wondering about my past relationships even though Ive only dated boys, been attracted to boys, crushed on boys, etc… boy crazy! Reading on other forums has been a big thing too or doing quizzes. I believe its SO-OCD but im so scared that what if its not. I am in therapy and actually had two weeks of not even thinking about it or googling it until yesterday. I dont know what to do.

Elliesmith

Date posted: 10w ago

Is this a symptom of soocd

I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?

dee012

Date posted: 8w ago

False memory ocd Help Please

Any advice? I just got triggered by false memory OCD. There is no indicator or memory of me doing anything bad, only the what if. So how can I deal with uncertainty because if I did do the false memory it would go against my morals?? Not something extremely unforgivable just like not ideal and against my morals… I don’t know if it happened. I have no memory of my false memory happen only the “what if” which is enough to scare me FOR CONTEXT: I was in the mental hospital when I was 16, and made a few friends. Some just a grade below me, so 14-15. I remember bringing up in convo someone I met previously at the mental hospital earlier in that year a different time I was hospitalized , to which a boy responded he knew her, and they did (seggsual) stuff at their school. The girl I was talking about at that time was 14. So im assuming the boy was 14 as well. 13 and up is together in the hospital, so he couldn’t be younger than 13. I have no memories of him flirting with me or me flirting with him. Or anything bad happening. Literally just “what if”.. or what if he wasn’t 14 but 13 and u said something inappropriate or flirted with him. I will never be able to know what happened and I’m sick thinking about this. 13 and 16 is NOT WITHIN MY MORALS. I am worried because the only inappropriate I guess convo had is when he was telling me what happened between him and that girl I knew. I also remember him having a bulge down there and it freaked me out and made me feel weird at the time because I noticed it. (At this time I was already diagnosed with OCD and experienced POCD) I try to tell myself maybe maybe not. But the what if it did happen makes me feel like a p33do, and me thinking it didn’t happen doesn’t satisfy me because I don’t have 100 percent certainty

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