Cheeks
- Date posted
- 6y
CheeksCheeks
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah. Literally my post shows the insurmountable evidence I have that I do not have HIV yet it just refuses to believe it.
melancholy melancholy
- Date posted
- 6y
You are preaching to the choir. *Touches door knob at doctors office* my brain: what if there was blood on that? You have a paper cut on your finger, you know. You might want to get tested for HIV once the incubation period has passed. Absolutely ridiculous garbage Brain in my head
melancholy melancholy
- Date posted
- 6y
Also I was worried about HIV this evening from my boyfriend even though he’s literally shown me his testing papers and been tested twice during our relationship and I know he’s not cheating but am afraid of encounters he had in fucking *2015* and has been tested multiple times since ??
melancholy melancholy
- Date posted
- 6y
Dude Everytime I worry about HIV and I go and get tested it’s always negative. I feel better for about a month or two. Then rinse and repeat.
CheeksCheeks
- Date posted
- 6y
I know right? What the fuck. My encounter according to statistics actually has negligible odds of transmission, so much so that they don't even have official numbers. Why can't we just believe the tests? Lol I also made my now boyfriend get tested before we ever were intimate and he was negative but sometimes I worry he isn't.
melancholy melancholy
- Date posted
- 6y
I also looked up the encounter stats too! Also made my boyfriend get tested before we ever did and THEN again two months ago (we’ve been together a year) because I somehow justified the possibility and he was nice enough to go do it and bring me the unopened letter from the medical office with the results lol. You do not HIV. Your man does not have HIV. I do not have HIV. My man does not have HIV. Let’s make a chant, lmfao. If I didn’t still have these HIV fears, my ocd would pretty much be non-existent. It’s the only battle I’ve left to conquer after a long history of bullshit with this illness.
melancholy melancholy
- Date posted
- 6y
Do not have*
CheeksCheeks
- Date posted
- 6y
We seem to be on somewhat similar levels as my hiv OCD is like the only OCD I have now. If I conquered it then I'd have very little left to get rid of.
melancholy melancholy
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes same here!!!
CheeksCheeks
- Date posted
- 6y
I once saw someone say you can get ultimate reassurance with a hiv test but we've both taken multiple and we still panic.
melancholy melancholy
- Date posted
- 6y
Exactly. I think there’s a lack of understanding at just how magnificent ocd is at wiggling itself out of any logical scenario.
uwotm8uwotm8
- Date posted
- 5y
Ugh guys I am panicking too I had a small cut that bled on my knuckle yesterday from dry hands (washing too much) I got on the train with my currently Bleeding hand and accidentally knocked my hand on the plastic headrest I didn’t notice if there was blood there before or I did that but when I looked up there was fresh blood there. Now I’m scared I have hiv from the blood on the train seat in my new cut I called the hiv helpline and sexual health helpline multiple times and they all say I’m not at risk because it dies quickly in the air, and it would have to be a large open wound and large quantities of blood in my wound BUT WHAT IF
Related posts
abreeclarey
- Date posted
- 21w
Fear of HIV again!!!
This fear keeps coming back and it’s to the point I cry and what to panic. I no longer talk to the man simply because I wanted to move on and find something meaningful to have with someone (relationship wise). I still keep fearing I need to go get my blood checked. Thoughts like “what if I have it and don’t know it and give to someone?” “What if that urine test I took months ago didn’t work” I got tested for stds but it came back negative. They took a urine test but google says you have to have your blood drawn!! I’m so scared. My mind tells me “you have HIV” and then a sense of peace comes and scares me even more!!!
SodaPoppies
- Date posted
- 18w
Fear of herpes contributing to contamination OCD
In September I had unprotected oral sex. I haven’t had sex in five years because even before that I was so ashamed and worried about sex. I finally did it and then a few weeks later while I was at work I started to be very itchy all in my underwear area like up to my butt. I didnt see any blisters or anything but when I googled it, herpes came up. Eventually I thought maybe it was the new underwear I bought and it went away after I stopped wearing them. However it’s returned twice, mostly when I’m really worried about herpes. I know this makes little sense because I don’t thinking about it would cause an outbreak but, either way I’m really nervous to go get tested because I heard there’s a high false positive rate and if I get a positive there’s a huge chance I will just become a recluse and never speak to anyone again. I already have so much trauma with sex, vaginismus, etc. I can’t imagine telling anyone I have herpes and then they 1) don’t want to be with me 2) now know this and could tell anyone they want Even if I don’t have it I was reading it could be asymptomatic and 80% of people who have it don’t even know, so now I’m worried I will get it no matter what sex I have. I can barely handle staying alive with just OCD but now with social stigma with herpes I will feel like I can not even live a normal life. I am already freaking out about it and don’t know what to do. I am worried to go get tested and it saying I have it, and then I’m worried to not and potentially spread it, I’m not even having sex with anyone right now so it’s not like I would. But I’m worried I will forget to wash my hands and touch something and someone else will touch it and then get it. I’m just having a really bad time.
Katinkatja
- Date posted
- 15w
contamination OCD/health (HIV)
A few days ago, I posted how proud I am of myself, that I managed to go to the doctor to get a vaccination. Now, two days later, I find myself panicking and ruminating. It was a practice where they also test a lot for HIV and other blood diseases and in my mind, the needle/syringe they used for my vaccination was somehow contaminated with blood from another patient. Maybe by accident but sometimes my mind would make up a scenario where they would do it even on purpose. I was so proud of myself, that I managed to go there on Monday and now I am making up scenarios how I caught HIV by going there - I am feeling guilty because I was „careless“. Any tips for the moment? ❤️
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