- Extremely low risk sexual encounter 7 years ago that was SO unlikely to transmit HIV. - The person was my boyfriend, we were 16-17, even more unlikely to have HIV. - 7 years with no symptoms. - 2 BioSURE HIV tests with negative results. - BioSURE has a 99.7% accuracy rate. - Negative results are 99.99% accurate and considered conclusive at 12 week post possible exposure. Yet here I am still terrified I have HIV. What the fuck?

Yeah. Literally my post shows the insurmountable evidence I have that I do not have HIV yet it just refuses to believe it.

You are preaching to the choir. *Touches door knob at doctors office* my brain: what if there was blood on that? You have a paper cut on your finger, you know. You might want to get tested for HIV once the incubation period has passed. Absolutely ridiculous garbage Brain in my head

Also I was worried about HIV this evening from my boyfriend even though he’s literally shown me his testing papers and been tested twice during our relationship and I know he’s not cheating but am afraid of encounters he had in fucking *2015* and has been tested multiple times since ??

Dude Everytime I worry about HIV and I go and get tested it’s always negative. I feel better for about a month or two. Then rinse and repeat.

I know right? What the fuck. My encounter according to statistics actually has negligible odds of transmission, so much so that they don't even have official numbers. Why can't we just believe the tests? Lol I also made my now boyfriend get tested before we ever were intimate and he was negative but sometimes I worry he isn't.

I also looked up the encounter stats too! Also made my boyfriend get tested before we ever did and THEN again two months ago (we’ve been together a year) because I somehow justified the possibility and he was nice enough to go do it and bring me the unopened letter from the medical office with the results lol. You do not HIV. Your man does not have HIV. I do not have HIV. My man does not have HIV. Let’s make a chant, lmfao. If I didn’t still have these HIV fears, my ocd would pretty much be non-existent. It’s the only battle I’ve left to conquer after a long history of bullshit with this illness.

Do not have*

We seem to be on somewhat similar levels as my hiv OCD is like the only OCD I have now. If I conquered it then I'd have very little left to get rid of.

Yes same here!!!

I once saw someone say you can get ultimate reassurance with a hiv test but we've both taken multiple and we still panic.

Exactly. I think there’s a lack of understanding at just how magnificent ocd is at wiggling itself out of any logical scenario.

Ugh guys I am panicking too I had a small cut that bled on my knuckle yesterday from dry hands (washing too much) I got on the train with my currently Bleeding hand and accidentally knocked my hand on the plastic headrest I didn’t notice if there was blood there before or I did that but when I looked up there was fresh blood there. Now I’m scared I have hiv from the blood on the train seat in my new cut I called the hiv helpline and sexual health helpline multiple times and they all say I’m not at risk because it dies quickly in the air, and it would have to be a large open wound and large quantities of blood in my wound BUT WHAT IF