I don't know if I can survive this, now I know that the recovery isn't linear but this OCD spike this week was something else, it's my hardest one so far, I really don't if I'll make it out alive, I'm alone and I have no one to talk to
Hey, I feel ya! My OCD is also spiking atm. If you want, I could listen. <3
Thank you I actually would love to, it's just that I think that I'm tired that I don't have it in me no more, I take 3 steps forward just to take 2 steps back, I don't know why recovery is supposed to be this hard
@Moha🍃 - That’s completely fair! It’s okay to be too tired. Recovery is hard. The OCD always fights back! Stress can also cause flare-ups, so remember to take care of yourself. :)
My OCD keeps bugging me because I suffered intrusive thoughts while watching the Loki S2 finale. And now it's still bugging me and distorting my cognitive part that I failed or whatever the hell. I feel all of you everyone!
@mxgicalmoon I always feel bad when I'm too tired, I always blame myself that I could do more but in fact I'm barely surviving
@Hev78 - Huh! I searched cognitive distortions up and honestly, it feels like I have a ton of these. I never even heard of them before. Thank you so much for mentioning those! I feel you as well and I hope things get better for you! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
@mxgicalmoon Np, do you also get intrusive thoughts while watching some episodes that imply you're not having the right experience in watching it? Because sometimes that happens and it kinda escalated.
@Moha🍃 - Please don’t blame yourself. Practice self compassion and self care instead! It might feel selfish to you, but I can assure you, it’s anything but. The kinder you are to yourself, the more stuff you can actually get done. <3
My OCD has spiked as well. For me it gets triggered by low self esteem, and too much stimulation ( social media , caffeine , YouTube , TV.) the most important thing you have to do is have Grace with yourself . Remind yourself it is ok to feel spikes , not everyday or every week, month , is going to be great. Once you have this change , and acceptance things will get better. I try and notice times where I was in the flow and OCD was not there. For example, you might have a “spike” where OCD is pounding your brain and you can not seem to get rid of it . Then you remember “ just 10 minutes ago I was fine.” This helps me notice the spaces in which I feel good and help me understand that these are just mind habits . It’s tough but hang in there!
I wish I hate that "10 minutes ago I was fine" tip when I was struggling. Seems lime that mightve helped me. Social media is toxic for me. Caffeine I believe definitely has a huge and quick effect with my ocd. I've cut it out all together as compulsions were hard to resist when I felt "caffeinated". I tried to use it as ERP but it's literally an external chemical you're introducing to your brain and concluded its not worth it. Happy without it
@Invalid Yeah ERP is hit or miss for me . Doing it outside of therapy can literally be a compulsion in itself
I know how hard it is to live with, try to remember that there will be ups and downs during this! I also feel like I have no one who understands - I’m always here for you x
Thank you any kind of support means billions to me especially at these dark moments
@Moha🍃 I’m new to this app so I don’t know if there’s a talk function but I’m always here - it’s so hard when you feel like you’re alone but I promise your not! We’re all in this together x
@molod I don't know if there's a talk function either, I'll see if there is hold on
@Moha🍃 Let me know :)
@molod Can't find it ughh
@Moha🍃 Noo :( I can always add you on Snapchat or something if you ever want to talk privately - I’m always here no matter what, keep fighting - I know it’s difficult but try to remind yourself why you’re overcoming this and how life will be once you’re in control x
@molod I do not have a snapchat, however I do have an IG, it's Gameboy_plaza, if you feel comfortable of course
@Moha🍃 I’ve just requested you - feel free to message me anytime x
Same my ocd and pocd is the worst this week then I think it’s ever been here for ya
Same to you, I don't know if I can be much of a help but it happens to be that I'm good listener
This is so accurate for me!!
How so?
@Moha🍃 Like I know OCD recovery isn't linear but it gets so debilitating.
@Hev78 Yeah it's not only debilitating, it's so dark and isolating, especially me since I don't have anyone and that I'm a loner
Could the time change be causing OCD to be worse? It's getting dark at 5ish now. And hard to know what time to take meds.
I don't think so since I'm a night person, usually the mornings are much harder for me
@Moha🍃 Hey, the road to recovery is bumpy and sometimes feels like whack-a-mole. You get rid of one issue and another pops and it can go on and on and on. Think of it like calibrating your mind. Also don't beat yourself up for falling over, it's not your fault the road is bumpy and dark. Just focus on the light at the end and get up when you can. Sounds like you want to do more but just need a breather
I was doing so much better with my OCD. I thought I finally figured it out. However, the last two weeks have been a nightmare. It’s like I went from 0-100 all over again. And it’s become scarier than it ever has been. Every other thought is either causing me anxiety or turning into an intrusive thought. Any headache or feeling of derealization, and I start to spiral. My thoughts are becoming more gruesome and feeling more real. The intrusive urges are so bad it feels like at any moment I could actually just snap. It feels like I am about to go crazy. Another hard aspect is when I’m getting these intrusive urges it feels like I want to do it or I don’t care if I do it. I don’t feel like myself. I feel like this disgusting monster who is just going to lose it and I want it to be over. Why is this happening when I was finally better? It makes me feel like it’s not OCD and I’m actually this person and I’m just holding my true self back. I’m sick to my stomach.
since february i have "POcd". Initial symptoms were thoughts, but then I did a testing compulsion during an intimate time, and I spiraled ever since. I struggle with addiction to smut. I'm cutting that out, but I feel as if it is too late. Ive never experienced this much mental, and emotional anguish in my life. On my time on this application I have given advice to others, and helped around, but I wonder if that even applies to me. Millions of times I wish I could turn back time and be more careful. I want to prevent many things, including what led me to spiral into OCD in the first place. I'm surely having an OCD episode. I have gotten a diagnosis, but I'm still not sure. I feel evil, cause unlike many here, I tested on my body sensations and it backfired (twice) I know I'm not supposed to figure out why that is the case, but now I have to live with it for the rest of my life even if its something I don't desire. This is disgusting for me, it is abhorrent. I could've never seen this coming. Day by day I've become more fearful of living with this, "OCD". I was a normal person before this, I knew what I was attracted to, I know my preferences, so why did this come about? This is singlehandedly the most painful thing that has happened to me and I have nobody but myself to blame. I am scared of death but I also would'nt mind sleeping for years on end. My parents and brother were understanding of my situation, but I failed them regardless. I don't want them to see me this way, nor do I want them to learn more of my predicament. I'm cooked. I know it, Fin, thats all folks. I'm only 20 and I already have other diagnosed mental illness so I recklessly brought upon myself another one. Its agonizing to live through, I wish this on nobody, not even my worst enemy. I can't even identify myself at this point. Its tearing me apart.
WHY is it so bad?? who was gonna tell me 16 was just DREAD, my ocd has flared up worse than ever and i can’t go to therapy weekly anymore. im getting worse and i can’t do it. I just want to give up.
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