Cami16
- Date posted
- 5y
Cami16Cami16
- Date posted
- 5y
the absolute dread of it is the worst for me. My stomach drops every time I get an intrusive thought and it’s gotten to the point where i have to isolate myself and wait the panic out. have you had any panic alongside that? i’ve been having a mix of panic and depression that also does not help. i know exactly what you mean about contemplating someone else’s mortality, im 16 so obviously not on the scale of love and concern for a child as i don’t have one, but my childhood dog is 14 and i often completely freak out about him dying (like once a week). ugh. glad i’m not alone in this though!
flowerpondflowerpond
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes!!!! For the past 3 weeks!!!!!!!!! It's how I found out I have OCD!
Babs657Babs657
- Date posted
- 5y
Me!!!! This is the third time in my life I have had a terrible episode like this. It’s horrible. I have a 4.5 month old baby and I am struggling to enjoy her. I just sit there and contemplate her mortality. (Literally even writing/reading that it sounds so ridiculous, but this condition makes it feel so rational.) The last time this happened therapy didn’t really work, but I’m trying CBT this time and am a little more hopeful (starting Wednesday). I was so happy with my new baby just a few weeks ago. This is really just an awful thing to have. It’s so hard to talk yourself out of the existential things!!! It makes me feel a little better knowing I’m not alone!
Babs657Babs657
- Date posted
- 5y
Yep. And meanwhile you wonder how anyone thinks about anything else! Ugh!! It will pass!! I really think something just goes wrong in the brain and it eventually fixes itself! Good luck!
flowerpondflowerpond
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh my god, yeah, I was doing the dishes and was suddenly like "I'm gonna die one day" and then suddenly, BAM, 24/7 intrusive thoughts about it. And when I try to do stuff i like? "This is pointless, you're wasting your time" like UGH. I couldn't enjoy visiting my partner's extended family two weeks ago because I was just so wrapped up in my own mind and like, it's so paradoxical!!!! Hopefully CBT works, I have an appointment with someone soon too so hopefully we can all get to a better place emotionally.
Babs657Babs657
- Date posted
- 5y
The first time it happened to me I was 15. Then 26. Now 41. And my dad, oddly, just went through it for the first time a few months ago. He ended up hospitalized. Yes, so much panic. You feel scared, like you are trapped in this life thing and can’t do anything to escape this terrifying death thing. This is the first time I have ever talked to anyone who has gone through the other than my dad. The only good thing is that I know I got through it twice before, and somehow my thoughts went back to normal. It’s exhausting, and takes away from enjoying the life we have! (The depression kicks in when it feels like this is something which can’t possibly go away!)
flowerpondflowerpond
- Date posted
- 5y
Luckily, my partner and his family were understanding when I told them what was going on (they just had a death in the family and theyre jewish so they sort of know suffering :( ) but honestly yes having someone to talk to is so much better for your mental state. Plus, it seems like even non-OCD people tend to worry about this around in their teens/earlyish 20s because of life changes and all that. If only we as a society could talk more openly about this stuff and learn to embrace it! Maybe then so many people would fear it less
flowerpondflowerpond
- Date posted
- 5y
Yea, I'm starting school on monday and I already know having something purposeful to do will at least minimize most of the lingering anxiety and intrusive thoughts. But I'm also glad I had this because I forced myself to learn about what happens to people when/after they die and I actually found out some really cool (but also terrifying) information! So if i can come mostly to terms with this stuff before i turn 25 (im 20), i think I'll count this one as a big ol' win
OCDduckOCDduck
- Date posted
- 5y
These comments have helped me understand my OCD even more! I knew I had this theme time to time (Saying suffered makes me anxious) I’ve had thoughts that have thrightend the living daylights out of me and now I know it was this theme
b13b13
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey, could someone explain a little how it feels to have this?
Cami16Cami16
- Date posted
- 5y
that’s exactly it. these past few weeks i’ve felt like i’m going insane and any effort to talk about it with my parents or friends was met with “you just can’t think about that stuff.” it’s so nice to know that i’m not alone.
Related posts
Sosa2loud
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 16w
Kind of Spiraling
Hi guys! I’m new to the community and I’ve recently received my OCD diagnosis (tho I’ve known about it since childhood). I’ve been somewhat spiraling lately as I wait for my first ERP session (hooray!) I was just wondering if any of you guys have received ERP for existential OCD and if it was successful? My existential OCD compulsions are more so mental and have been affecting me in the sense of dream/memory flashbacks and giving me a sort of “uncanny” feeling about everything around me. Any advice is appreciated! Thank you❤️
djflorio
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 12w
How ERP helped when I was afraid of existence itself
I used to get caught in a loop with existential thoughts very frequently. Every question made my stomach drop: (TW: existential questions) … … ... "Why does anything exist at all? What will death be like? Is anything even real? Is there any meaning to this? Is the universe infinitely big, and if not, what's beyond it? Are there multiverses? Has the universe been around forever? Will the universe end for good, or will it keep going forever? What is forever like? What even IS reality?" It would get so overwhelming that I remember lying on the floor in a fetal position for hours because I felt like there was no escape. I spent most of my days reading articles and watching videos about theoretical astrophysics and philosophy in a desperate attempt to "figure it all out." Of course that only made me more anxious, raised more questions, and kept me trapped in the cycle. Things started to improve once I learned to turn TOWARD reality, rather than away from it, and ERP really helped me do that. I learned that these questions weren't the problem. I learned that I can actually handle the anxiety that arises when exposed to these ideas and concepts. I don't have to figure anything out to make the anxiety go away; it arises and passes away on its own. Ironically, bringing myself into the present moment and becoming more aware of reality helped me escape the cycle of existential dread. Because of that, this topic no longer takes over my life. If I'm triggered by something I see, hear, or think, I may still feel a little twang of anxiety, but then it just goes away. "Maybe, maybe not" has been the single most useful phrase of my life. Do you ever get trapped in a cycle of existential questions? Are you worried that the ERP approach would be too scary to handle? If so, I'm happy to give my advice.
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 7w
Religion/OCD
Hello, This is my first community post and I would like to know if anyone else struggles with Religious OCD themes, I'm a Christian but please share any perspective you have. - What do your thoughts look like? - How do you know they are related to OCD? For me it's becoming a constant, 24/7 cycle and it's very draining. I want to find some kind of peace between my thoughts and God so I recently started NOCD therapy again. I'm not totally sure how this all works (treatment, OCD diagnosis, etc.). But if anything I want to know that I am not alone with Religious OCD. Thank you
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