Can someone describe the feeling of dissociation because honestly this new territory I e texted with my mental state is weird asf and it’s almost like it’s not OCD. Been researching and I don’t know what is going on with my head lol.
Someone described it as feeling like your are high without having smoked anything and that’s pretty spot on. It’s awful and it doesn’t go away quickly.
@ Skyline 🕊️ I don’t think it’s what I’m struggling with, I described what I’m struggling with in one of my comments above. It’s extremely weird and tiring.
@Anonymous_anon Hyper sensitivity. Where you can also create sensations just thinking about it, right?
@Invalid Yea I think so
@Anonymous_anon I second what @Invalid said. It also sounds like sonamtic system disorder or Somatic OCD. This causes a person to hyperfixate on a body part and may experience pain, weakness, etc. in that area by hyperfocusing on it. But there isnt an actual illness or injury in that part of the body. It is simply the brain making up the sensation because it is so focused on it. There is also body checking (another OCD symptom), where you fear something is wrong and you will mentally examine your body. Like with Somatic OCD, the more you check and examine, the more your body my fabricate a sensation to validate your fear. I'm not a professional, but those are some possibilities you may be able to research to get a more indepth understanding of what's going on. Good luck!
There are types kinds of dissociation ranging in severity. 1. Emotional Numbness: Feeling numb, lacking any feeling. Inability to cry, feel sad, laugh at something you would usually laugh at are some examples. 2. Depersonalizing: Feeling "out of body". You know you are there, but you don't feel like yourself (the best I can explain it). You may not even recognize yourself when looking in the mirror or not recognize sensations like touch. 3. Derealizing: Feeling as if you are in a dream or that your surrounding are not real. 4. Dissociating: All of the above. Lacking memory of where you were or what you did during an episode once you stop dissociating. My most common is emotional numbness, but I have derealized and depersonalized as well. Overall there's a general feeling of not being "present" in some way. Like you're physically there, but you aren't mentally there.
@JustAlli Oh!. Mehn!. I don’t know what I’m feeling. This is so weird and tbvh I don’t know. It’s just weird
@JustAlli Thanks so much for taking time to explain!
I had it. Felt like the backseat driver in my own body. Didn't feel anxious, nerves and found it incredibly difficult to identify love. The only way I knew was someone pointed it my reactions out to me. I'd still go through all the signs of being anxious, just no feelings with it. Got better with therapy. Was like seeing colours you forgot existed. I can feel all of these previously missing thinfgs now. Sucks, but I'm happy every time I am because I consider it a blessing to be able to feel it again. As for love, I don't know yet with that because I haven't put myself in situations where I'd be able to.
@Invalid Oh then what I feel is different. Some parts of my body doesn’t feel like mine🤣. It’s extremely distressing, ignore the fact that I’m laughing. Also, I can literally think my self into feeling stuff I don’t wanna feel. This is the hardest I’ve faced and that’s why I sincerely do not know if it’s OCD. It’s weird and annoying
@Anonymous_anon Nah laugh away its fine 🤣 there is a name for something like that but can't remember what it is
@Invalid Oh really?!. Please when ever you remember please let me know!. Would be very useful navigating this. Thanks so much. I’ve seen much of your posts and comments on here. You’ve been so so helpful. Thanks so much.
I struggle with depersonalization and derealization and it was the scariest thing ever. After some therapy and self work I can cope so much better.
@Key080323 That’s really great!
OCD is so strange because I feel so mentally exhausted 24/7 but i’m so good at masking it that like it’s like i can think double. I’m not sure that makes sense. But i am so used to the OCD thoughts racing through my head that i can respond to my environment whilst completely existing in my head. I can have conversations when intrusive thoughts are taking over my inner dialect. I feel like i am even doubting whether i have OCD and whether it’s all just an excuse. I feel like my rumination hasn’t stopped for the past 3 years. Everything i used to enjoy or look forward to, is now dread and tainted by the thoughts telling me i never knew. I don’t even know what i like or who i am anymore. The thought of getting help and talking through it all scares me because what if i’m invalidated or if i speak about it too much then what if i don’t stop thinking. I’m so exhausted
I keep getting a random feeling of anxiety, I’ll be doing good/better and then it randomly pops into my head. It’s not a specific thought it’s more of like an uneasy feeling that I can’t wrap my head around. It feels like a deep sense of doom/fear or something like that. I’m not sure if me trying to figure it out is a compulsion/ my ocd just wanting to figure it out or if I should just sit with it and let it be.
Struggling today with my thoughts and maybe some dissociation. I can’t get any clear thoughts. I felt like lately I’ve started to recover and then the past few days have felt so hard. I feel scared for the future. I am scared I don’t have enough hope for living with ocd. I am scared that I’m not gonna be happy. I’m scared I’ll chose to end my life over this. I’m scared I’ll want to end my life. I feel weird. My thoughts are jumbled today. Something feels like it’s going to happen and that’s what is giving me anxiety.
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