- Date posted
- 1y
Vent . Ocd episode
I’m currently ruminating about today at work at my job. I work retail so it’s among many people I have to associate with when it comes to work. Lately though, I’ve had some concerns about a coworker who happens to be a higher level, having something against me . As far as I know, I haven’t given her any reason to dislike me or get me in trouble. However, with todays encounter with her it didn’t go very smoothly as usually expected. There are frequent times where she can come across an uncertain way of perceiving her. It almost seems like she always has some way of telling me someone over and over as an excuse to just say something. I’ve noted her approaches and she can definitely tell I’m standing up to her level. Today unfortunately though , I got fed up with it and it pushed me over the edge where it was taking a toll on my anxiety and stress. Remind you I haven’t ate anything at all today, let alone had a lunch/break which for us is typically standard 30 minute periods. I was working my ass off up front attending customers and putting in all my effort into my job while maintaining balance. I asked a different manager earlier about my lunch cause it had already been 4 hours since I got there. I initially was supposed to work 10:30-5:00, given from manager’s approval since I wasn’t originally scheduled but came in voluntarily when asked . By couple of hours in I had asked them not once, but twice about my lunch since everyone else had been going except me . I patiently waited . The first time I didn’t receive an answer when I asked via the communicator , second time I asked someone different in person and was told to remain waiting until my turn. So I ended up not receiving a lunch at all. This definitely made me more stressed which I think also stimulated my anxiety level. There was a customer in line who appeared to be upset and impatient due to have waiting longer than usual cause person in front of her had coupons they wouldn’t go through, so eventually since that register was out of cash and she had cash to pay with, I told her I’d be able to ring her up on the other register and she became more agitated about it and that’s when I had to call a manager over cause I knew I just wasn’t capable of dealing with it at the moment. That’s where the problem sorta escalated onto the other manager saying stuff to me . It got complicated because my register locked me out from using the other one, so therefore it required a manager approval to use the other one since it knows I’m in an active one. Unfortunately too my communicator so happened to have unexpectedly shut down without any warning whatsoever. When the manager got up there she already seemed bothered but not giving any indication. I said I’m not able to log back in to ring her up cause I’m logged in there and she told me the exact same thing I had just told her let alone said on the communicator . I said I called like 3 times and no one would answer or come up. She said “well just so you know I’ve been clocked in for 30 minutes now and I didn’t hear anything .” So I of course stood my ground and said “my battery died evidently I guess .” “There wasn’t any other way for me to call unless I shouted across the store.” She said “you don’t need to get mad .” I then clarified to her that I wasn’t mad I was just explaining as to why. I’m tired of her always wanting to say shit to me Everytime I call her up it seems like she gets bothered by it. But I figure by the way she just approached me , I know she knows I don’t let things like that slide. I told my main manager of the store that I had to briefly speak to her about the matter privately because I didn’t want any deescalation or misunderstanding. I spoke to her and she was well informed and listened to me with open ears. I honor her for being very considerate and understanding of people’s feelings and concerns. She said she would talk to her about it because that’s no way to talk to an employee especially given the role that she has as a shift leader. I told her my intention is to not get her in trouble but instead, I just don’t want any problems with anyone and if it’d be helpful, I’d rather change my schedule and not have to work wit her for that matter. She reassured me she’d talk to her about it. Later on as it came close to the end of my shift, I politely paged the shift leader about the code 5 that was needed on a register 2. (Code 5 is pickup when register overloads ). She said “ok well I’m kinda busy right now showing Wendy how to do something so just use the other register.” She knows exactly that I already know what to do in those cases it’s a pretty common occurrence where she’ll say something knowing I already know. It was just for her sake of knowing and I was being remindful about it cause it appears as one way or another she’ll ultimately say something . “Please be sure to let us know ahead of time when your pickup is needed otherwise it’s gonna overload.” I already know that’s and that’s exactly why I friendly reminder about it 🤷♂️. But it just seems that she wants to contradict it. 🤦♂️I said “I was just reminding you that’s all.” I know for a fact she’s behind my back talking shit about me and I’m just overthinking that she’s gonna ruin my perception of people or spread misinformation to retaliate against me for telling on her. My ocd is making me to think of the worse possible case scenarios. I value this job because I actually like it there in many different perspectives aspects. It took me a while to get back up on my feet and get a new convenient job because I hadn’t been working for the past month or so before working here . I can’t get fired or be provoked anymore 🤷♂️