The past two weeks i’ve just felt like i’m better off gone and no one would care. I just feel like no one appreciates me or wants me around. I want to bring this up to my boyfriend who is always there for me and knows me best but i’m not sure if this is something i should bring up or not
You are never better off gone, life is extremely precious and so are you. Please tell someone you can trust that you are dealing with these thoughts.
I’m not a professional. If you’re thinking/planning suicide then maybe you can consider obtaining professional help. Perhaps a close friend, relative, clergy, family doctor, etc. Please know that you matter!!!
@Dee C i’m not at all trust me i would never do that, it’s just the intrusive thoughts telling me i’m better of gone and no one wants me here :(
I can relate and have since learned that amongst other things, OCD is a liar, a bully and a leech. That being said we; don’t pay attention to the liar, bravely face the bully and brush off the leech. I know it’s easier said than done and you can do it!!!
@Dee C thank you so much ❤️
Sounds like suicidal ideation. I had it when I was 18 and graduated high school. I had so much going for me, but was terrified of the future and ruminated about the past. Thankfully I got help and was meditated with therapy. That changed my life. I had to be willing to accept help.
Suicide is a final act, it means you’ll never solve what’s going on. Never give up, call 988 if you feel suicidal, and tell the people who care about you hope you’re feeling. Don’t hide in the darkness. Suicide is NEVER the answer. NEVER. What does this mean in regards to your question? It means THE WORLD IS BETTER WITH YOU HERE AND WHAT YOU CAN PROVIDE TO IT. you, I’m talking to YOU (and anyone else reading this feeling the same way). If you’re looking for a sign today (from the Universe/God) that your life is worth living and beneficial to those around you - THIS IS THAT MESSAGE! Just stop thinking and trust me when I say this: There are so many people in your life that need you - and you probably just don’t realize that yet. You have a duty to try your hardest to get the help you need from friends, family, and/or therapy to survive another day and every day that comes after that until you can return to equilibrium. You fucking got this!
I have been struggling with suicidal ideation. I constantly have thoughts that if I were dead I’d never have to feel this way again or I would no longer have to suffer but I don’t actually want to kill myself and I don’t actually want to be dead. I would never kill myself. It’s just intrusive thoughts. My advice is to talk to your therapist about it and see what coping mechanisms she/he can give you to practice.
@Anonymous exactly i’ve been experiencing the same thing, i am trying to be matched with a therapist but the past two i’ve had have been no help :/
@EP7500! I see Paulina and she’s soooo good! I absolutely love her. She’s so sweet and really helpful!
@Anonymous thank you i’ll check her out hopefully she’s in my area!
@EP7500! She’s in Chicago. But I live in Indiana and they matched her with me still, so you should be able to see her!
I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"
I feel like there’s no way out of this. everyday i’m anxious and depressed from these thoughts. i feel like i have to constantly question if it’s OCD or not. the panic attacks are insane and i freak out. and a compulsion i have is looking eveything up on the internet when im stressing to know that it’s just my OCD and im not in danger. but looking things up add on to my thoughts and i start thinking “what if” actual suidcal people think. do others with this theme whenever they do something like if im taking a picture it’ll be like “yeah you look happy people will wonder what happened when your gone” LIKE i DO NOT want to end my life. or even as simple as cleaning my room, “yup keep it clean so when your family goes through your stuff” then i panic and can’t even do anything. those thoughts distress me so bad. i’ll sit there and think how good my life is or when im having a good day my thoughts will be like “NOPEEE what if your just saying that to convince yourself” it never shuts up and genuinely makes me think i have SI or something. i hope this reaches the right people just to know im not alone. Even when i do get better in the back of my mind it’s always “people who want to are the same a day before too” im genuinely scared and im scared one day im going to just snap and do it because its “too much” do i need to go to a mental hospital! i feel insane.
I’ve been feeling so disconnected lately, like I’m not even living my own life. It’s like I’m being controlled by someone else, and I have no say in what’s happening. It’s hard to put this feeling into words, but it’s like I’m here physically, but mentally, I’m just... not. Every day feels like a struggle. I wake up afraid of what’s coming next, almost like I’m bracing myself for the next bad thing to happen. Sometimes, I don’t even want to get out of bed because it feels pointless, like I’m stuck in this loop of fear and doubt. I keep questioning everything, life, my purpose, my choices, and it’s exhausting. I just want to feel like myself again, to feel like I have control, like I’m really here.
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