What's the point in talking when nothing makes you feel heard? I'm pretty sad rn. Things don't feel special. And conversations feel empty So frustrated and sad... I feel invisible too. But why bring that up and talk about it if I'm gonna feel unheard anyway? It makes no sense
It can be really hard to want to feel genuine connections and be open, and feel unable to find these connections. Wanting to feel heard makes a lot of sense to me.
Maybe it's a me problem why I don't feel able to
I feel this way when I converse with my mother and certain coworkers. It gets so bad sometimes that I think for some reason I don’t deserve to be heard. I hear you, because I know what it’s like not to be heard, and why I feel compelled to respond to your comment.
I really worry it's something wrong that I'm doing... It feels like it's been the hardest thing finding someone to here me out, and when I do find someone, the moment is so fleeting, it just seems so useless. They're going to fall back into a sea of people, and I won't talk to them ever again
And it has to do with religion. I worry that God has a special place in His heart for Israelites, and that I'm not as special to Him, and even though all I need is an ear, everyone I talk to tries to disprove my fears. And it feels like they aren't listening.
And I was just wondering what you would think or say if I thought that God had some people more special to Him? Would you even be comfortable talking about that? It's okay if the answer is no, I wouldn't be offended. I do also tend to talk about it too much. But maybe this is a weird question.
I understand you. I talk to my husband and mom and barely get feedback. I get blank stares. People at work as well. I think people are just too busy and or wrapped up in their own thoughts. It’s not a reflection of you, it’s a reflection of them maybe not understanding you or knowing how to answer you. A good therapist is a great start. Once a week you can spend and hour pouring out the things that are prevalent in the moment. Writing in a journal is like talking or thinking to yourself, but written out, it can be therapeutic. Don’t expect people to listen to intently if they are busy. Maybe ask them if they have some free time to sit and have some tea/ coffee and just start off slowly. Ease your way into the conversation. Maybe ask “Anything you’d like to share that’s on your mind.” Usually, people would love to express themselves to you. They my not get a chance either to find a lending ear. It’s reciprocal. Let them be heard first. Then ask “Im wondering how you’d deal with something that I’m going through. Maybe you can give me feedback.” That way you aren’t just talking at them and flooding them with a whirlwind of thoughts and fears. If you ask their opinion or their take on it, it will make them better listeners. Setting is important. Hope that helps.❤️
I tried journaling, and I don't even feel like I can listen to myself properly. And part of the problem with talking to people is that they're TOO quick to give me their opinions, they don't want to simply listen. I'll tell them my religious fears, and they'll jump to try to prove me wrong. On top of that, I can't find the right words to express myself -- I don't even know if there are words to...
People who don't have OCD can never understand. So they can't relate. It's sad, but it's the truth.
And people who do have OCD can't understand each other's obsessions
@Anonymous That's true too
I have unhelpful habits that I hate having in life, and being left on read and deleting messages is one of them. In the past, I've had experiences where I would try to add something to a conversation and nothing but dead air added to it. No one would say anything and they would just act like nothing was said at all. It was really weird and it sort of taught me in my head that I shouldn't speak my mind about the things I want to with others. It's happened a lot lot less as an adult and it only really happens when someone has the attention of one person 1 on 1, but it happens quite a bit when texting people. Someone at the time, who was my crush just didn't say a whole lot in return when I tried reaching out to her, which at the time made me feel like she didn't really care to have time to talk to me. And while that's probably not true, sometimes, there are just people that might not want to talk to me all that much. I feel this way about other people I don't really know but it's only because I really don't know them all that well. When I do get to know them or get close to them by hanging out with them enough times, that goes away pretty quickly and consistently. But with some other people, it doesn't go away and it makes things awkward. I totally understand that people are busy and that they just may want to do other things, and I'm not putting any fault on them at all. If things don't really get anywhere, they don't get anywhere. I'll just stop trying and move on to someone else. But it doesn't get rid of those unhelpful feelings and beliefs as easily. I hate that I still hang onto false beliefs like this and they don't really go away deep down
Tried to have a fun day today but I was too into my thoughts and that just ended up ruining it. Had it triggered by something, which was being in a social environment surrounded by people talking to each other while I feel I can't talk to anyone all that much. Why is this the trigger? Because it's happened in the past, and probably childhood, and I guess it didn't sit well with me and it still doesn't. It completely took my mood away on top of bad habits that hurt my self esteem further. Then when I feel I talk a bit too much, I get no responses, so that's why I don't say a whole lot to begin with. That combined with worrying about being judged. Just a vent.
I have this strong yearning to tell my mother all my thoughts and what I go through on a daily basis but then I get scared of what she'll think of me or that she'll worry even more and feel like it's her fault. I just want someone to understand what im going through but whenever I even begin to explain my thoughts to my therapist, she doesn't really get it and today it feels like no one ever will. like I try to make my therapist understand and bless her heart, she's super compassionate and understands how much pain it causes me but beyond that, it still feels like im not able to fully convey it. I'm sure this is something many people can relate to, but still. I feel alone.
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