Interrupting thoughts

Bro I'm scared rn, so there was a compulsion I did like 2hrs ago and I didn't do it properly cuz I kept getting a thought saying "something is gonna come in Ur room and kill you or you will have this illness It triggers me to say it but I froze because I kept seeing like a shadow and cuz I was home alone and it's dark so I didn't answer it 😃 and cuz I answered it late saying obviously I don't want to illness I would rather have the other (half of me knows it's not real), and I prayed 4 times as well cuz I didn't do the compulsion properly I tried doing it again logs if times and 1 hour later I tried again but It still didn't feel right, and now the thought is hurting my body a little and I feel shivery, and I have tried doing the compulsion but it's not working. Why can't these thighs just leave me alone and stop saying about illnesses all the time. And idk how I'm gonna get thru the night cuz I can't get the thought out of my head and I won't be able to do anything properly.

I have religious OCD and the thoughts have been becoming really bad. I’ve been hitting myself punching myself screaming quietly if that makes sense pulling my hair out talking to myself nonstop. I can’t even hang out with my family without doing these things or going to another room to do these things, these thoughts of overtaking my life I will always be Christian God is most important to me and I’m so scared because these thoughts are terrible. They’re disgusting they never ending. There’s always something going on in my mind. I don’t understand. I’m scared. I’m turning into a bad person. I don’t wanna dishonor the Lord God, I don’t know if this is just OCD or something else.

I have a new compulsion where I hit my head over and over again to get really bad thoughts out of my head and I'm getting headaches from them now. It feels impossible to stop 😥 I just became a Christian and I get inappropriate very taboo awful thoughts about God and Idk how to treat them because with my other OCD themes I used to do what my therapist calls opposite action where you act like the thoughts aren't powerful so if you get an intrusive thoughts you would basically say meh, maybe I am maybe I'm not or maybe it will maybe it won't, but with scrupulosity Ocd I don't want to have a nonchalant attitude towards the inappropriate sinful thoughts about God because I don't want God to think I don't care that a horrible thought like that was in my head. So I've started hitting my head. I just don't want God to hate me and I feel ashamed of these thoughts. They make me feel ashamed of myself.