My happiness, my passion, my relationships, my life, my will, everything is being taken. And I can’t help but feel I deserve it. I am having these thoughts, and actively choosing to engage in avoidance. Horrible thoughts that feel like they might be me “deep down”. I’m so tired
Not trying to reassure you but you don't deserve this. OCD thoughts are not yours. I too feel OCD has taken a lot of things from me. But I have started therapy with NOCD and I am hopeful in time these things will come back. But it's a marathon not a sprint so again it will take time I know.
It’s a tough battle for most people, I let my ocd get pretty bad because I kept giving into compulsions and I feel you, I actively engage in avoidance and it’s only gotten worse. I would tell myself I just don’t have the energy to see friends, I’m a horrible person, and all the funky things ocd tells us. But all it ever did was make things worse. I remember some days my thoughts would be so bad but I would still engage in life and I would feel better throughout the day. I always tried to figure it out and I just never won that battle, I only found some peace when I gave up trying to figure it out or find an answer. It’s so bad because it feels so real. But that’s ocd, it has to feel real
Yeah you have to keep going. It's hard to not ruminate and try to figure out. Do the maybe, maybe not. I'm uncertain and just sit with it. I feel like you know what you have to do, and you can do it. This is just a little setback. I wish you all the best. Happy Thanksgiving. 🫂
Does anyone else feel like they think these horrible things on there own or on purpose. I feel like I'm intentionally trying to hurt god and the holy Spirit now and idk what to do. I feel like I'm becoming my worst fear. Idk what to do I feel like I'm losing touch with myself and idk what to do. And I'm really worried God is going to turn his face from me or I'm going to do something I am going to regret. I'm not really sure whats happening to me, but I'm scared I'm going crazy.
I’ve been feeling so disconnected lately, like I’m not even living my own life. It’s like I’m being controlled by someone else, and I have no say in what’s happening. It’s hard to put this feeling into words, but it’s like I’m here physically, but mentally, I’m just... not. Every day feels like a struggle. I wake up afraid of what’s coming next, almost like I’m bracing myself for the next bad thing to happen. Sometimes, I don’t even want to get out of bed because it feels pointless, like I’m stuck in this loop of fear and doubt. I keep questioning everything, life, my purpose, my choices, and it’s exhausting. I just want to feel like myself again, to feel like I have control, like I’m really here.
I can't stop thinking about ending my life. I feel like I'm not even living, I'm just surviving. Everyone is capable of being a person and functioning and I'm just stuck here avoiding everything. My psychiatrist said my ocd is severe and it will all take time and I'll start erp and I'm already on medication but I just feel so depressed and like I won't be able to handle erp and it's already too late for me. I feel inhuman, it's debilitating. My major theme is just fear or contamination, I can't even make myself a meal I can't touch anything in the kitchen. I get stuck in the shower for 2 hours and when I don't shower because I'm depressed I feel like a walking germ. My hands are a mess, my school work is shit, I avoid and avoid and I'm just so tired of "living" like this. My psychiatrist said they don't have any therapists available right now like.... excuse me? What do you mean u don't have any 😭 I honestly don't even know why I'm typing this becuase nothing helps, nothing ever will. I'm so deep into this I can't get out, my room looks like shit, I can't live in this body anymore, I really can't. I let everyone down, I am and will be such a dissapointment. I don't have any dreams or goals or passions I just wasn't made to be here. I don't know how or who to ask for help like there's nothing anyone can do, I'm already on meds. I can't keep being like this, seeing everyone judge me for acting insane.
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