- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Don't know who I am anymore
It's all different, everything. Don't know who I am, what I am, why I am. I don't believe I'm capable of having relationships with people. There's just no purpose for me.
It's all different, everything. Don't know who I am, what I am, why I am. I don't believe I'm capable of having relationships with people. There's just no purpose for me.
You're not alone in feeling that way. I hope things get better for us
I feel like I need people in my life who understand what I'm going through. It's like family and everyone and everything around me just goes on normally and I'm just a spectator or something. Ever feel that way?
I completely empathize of what you’re going through. Hopefully what I say is not reassurance, however, just hear me out. I drank for over 13 years. I kept suppressing my emotions and traumas. I thought that the alcohol would help me be more confident and popular with people, extroverted. I recently am three months, sober, and I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t know what I like. I don’t know what I am, and I don’t know what’s the future for me. However, be that as it may, I feel that I could become whatever I wanna be. Actually trying to find myself and the people that care about me will also come with. I get that right now it’s daunting and you’re nervous with anxiety, however, you deserve to find who you are and also, find out what you want to be now. And believe me you will because when I was a drunk and loser, I lost my family, I lost my girlfriend, and worst of all I lost myself, and now people are proud of me, and I got my family back.and I’m so grateful for it every day. I have faith you can do and also that you mean more. You are stronger than you think and you deserve to give yourself more credit. May God bless you.
Thanks for your kind encouraging words!
I'm sorry. I've felt like this before
It’s good you don’t have a label to use of who you are. You are a feeling, caring, viable human being who is working on living a full life. You just are, that is why, that is enough. Right now you think you can’t have relationships, but that will change too. It’s hard work, I won’t say that. Your purpose is to learn, grow, help yourself and others and live life fully, to do so, you must have trust in yourself and give yourself permission to feel bad/sad from time to time. Life is none stop uncertainties. There is only awakening to the fact that you do your best each day. You have more power than you think you do. You choose each day how you react or don’t react. Observing is just fine, observe your presence by just keeping quiet and still so you can ground yourself and recharge. It is easy to get lost in this world, with all the noise (tv, text, email, social media, car horns, traffic, work/school demands, family issues, friendship issues and more). Take time out for yourself. Regroup, go somewhere like beach, quiet room, earplugs, aromatherapy, bath, book, nap, yoga, observe nature etc. This will enable to reset and focus on what matters and what is working, what is comforting, what helps, why you need time for yourself, which is a gift to yourself. Hope that helps.❤️
It does, thanks!
I feel so sad, alone, scared and hopeless. Until two months ago there was not even the remote possibility of being anything other than heterosexual and now the idea that I could find out that I was lesbian or bisexual terrifies me to death. Everything was born from the fact that I didn't feel sexual desire towards my ex-boyfriend and I started to be afraid that it was because I was a lesbian... how can I be a lesbian or bisexual if everything was born from this? I would like to run away from myself and my head. I would really like to go back and go back to my life before. I can't take it anymore. I just want to live my life like before
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
I just can’t do this shit anymore.im tired of these “arousal” sensations that feel real but when I go check my arousal to the same gender I just get anxiety. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t like girls anymore. I’m tired of my arousal getting blocked every now and then because I’m anxious. I’m tired of not knowing who I am anymore. I’m tired of having my mind putting me into an identity I never asked for. I’m tired of this life
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