I got labs done, and everything looked good. Even the doctor said it looked generally unremarkable. But something was slightly elevated , and I'm freaking out about the risk of the big C. I need to be told I am over reacting or something
I feel you. I deal with similar OCD and work in an hospital so am exposed daily to people with that condition. I complete compulsions also around the health anxiety. I’m currently working with my therapist on how to engage in mindfulness behaviours to reduce compulsions and my distress ( such as meditation and self-care). Do you have any compulsions associated or is it particularly seeking reassurance that you aren’t at risk of the big c?
I obsessively body check to the point of pain, I go to the ER , and I knock 3 times whenver I hear or read the C word. I'm looking for reassurance, but I do have those compulsions as well
@Ocdguy82 I’m with you. I don’t necessarily go to the ER, but I touch wood a lot or do other unrelated compulsions when I think or hear the c word too. I know it’s hard but my therapist told me today that we just have to lead to sit with uncertainty and try deep breathing/ meditation or when you’re in that situation, to calla friend/ family member to have a chat.
@ellieeechic97 Thank you, but can you tell me as someone who works In a hospital do you think I'm over reacting? All my labs look great. There's just that one thing that is slightly higher. Nothing is working beside people telling me they think I'm overreacting
@Ocdguy82 Do you know exactly what lab test is higher? Is it an electrolyte or blood cell test? I wouldn’t say you are over reacting because I also get in the same mindset, I would just say that you could get a second opinion just to make sure.
@ellieeechic97 My blood protein is 8.5 instead of 8.3, but my blood cells look great
@Ocdguy82 Hi, I’m sorry you are struggling with OCD. I, too, struggled for years with health anxiety OCD (over 35!). Here is what works: Understanding that what we are doing to relieve the distress of uncertainty be it reassurance seeking (which is what you are doing) checking, researching etc (all of these are compulsions) is actually making us less sure and, in turn, making our OCD worse in the long run. What worked for me, listening to my doctor. One and done, if he/she said don’t worry, I allowed all the what ifs to be there. I also let all the scary thoughts, feelings, urges be there. It felt horrible, irresponsible, like I was making a huge mistake. But, here’s the thing, if I didn’t do any compulsions, clarity did come! With practice, over time, I learned that not doing compulsions does work. It is difficult work, you have to be willing to be uncertain, afraid, “take the risk” etc. I struggled for so long, was so tried of always living in fear, that I decided to truly give it a try. I had a year of different regular check ups, I made the choice to listen to my Drs, do what they said, not check or research, not reassurance seek, etc. it works! I don’t know if your on instagram, but rachelsocdgrotto has a lot of inspiring and informative health anxiety posts. You can see in the above example, reassurance doesn’t work, there is always another doubt that will come up. Let the doubt be there, you didn’t go to medical school, your DR did. You are learning to allow uncertainty, it is a super power❤️. Wishing you all the best, you are stronger than you know!
@VGH Thank you. You're right. I'm doing my best, and your words really impacted me alot. You're very sweet and helpful
So everything has been going well recently. The only thing pressing is for peace of mind I am getting STD tested on Wednesday morning and I am pretty anxious about what the result will say. I go to certain massage parlors that offer extras. And I have made a point to not engage in intercourse but other non-intercourse things I have done. I was afraid that since those women do other things with people that maybe virtual things were left on the beds I would lay down on or something. I told this to a doctor I saw recently and they said it was highly unlikely. But I still have the health worry. But we will see come Wednesday. The only reason I am going is because I went to the urologist and they wanted me to rule things out since I had what seemed like a UTI but it turned out to not be the case. What's a good way to not focus on catastrophizing the situation. I keep worrying that my life is over if I am diagnosed with something and my future relationships will be tainted or I'll put someones health in jeopardy
I’m freaking out right now really bad right now. Long story short: nutritionist and therapist want me to start higher levels of care for my disordered eating. My eating habits have been shit and i checked my iron levels like a couple of days ago and it was super low, but i haven’t been having any symptoms up until a few days ago. I have been having a light period in between my regular periods. Just a few minutes ago i started experiencing weird light headedness that comes and goes and now im freaking out so bad. I feel off and the anxiety does not help. Im scared of telling my parents i need help. Im scared that i really screwed myself over. Im scared that i really let myself go and im fucking scared of asking for help…….i just want to be ok.
content warning: MRI results I got prescribed MRIs done on my lumbar and cervical spine over the weekend, and several things came back abnormal in the report. I started to google when I saw a word ending in -oma, got a basic definition of this particular kind of t*mor (probably benign/non-cancerous), realized that googling in this case was for sure a compulsion, caught myself and put my phone away. I told myself, "I have an appointment with my specialist in 2 days. I trust this doctor, so I will delay/not do my own reading until after I talk to her, and only if she recommends further self-education." I stuck to it and I was proud of myself. Cut to the appointmet today. I got lost in the building where her office is and arrived 14 mins late. The receptionist said there's a 15 minute grace period, so I would have to reschedule. No availability for 2 MONTHS, even for telehealth. First of all, I am so ashamed of being late (that's another trigger for me), and so hurt and rejected that they wouldn't talk to me, even very briefly. Now the urge to google is so extreme. There are objectively concerning things in my report, based on what she said ahead of time that we were looking for, and what would affect treatment. I also have a LOT of c*ncer in my family history; 3/4 grandparents, an aunt on each side, and 1.5 bio parents (1 was skin c*ncer, 1 was prec*ncerous polyps removed but considered high future risk to be monitored), so "-oma" and "t*mor" are big red flags in my minds. So while normally I am actually pretty good about living and making peace with my chronic conditions, and health ocd is really only like 5 on my hierarchy, I know that I actually do have to be vigilant about c*ncer in some ways. My balanced solution is sticking to recommended observation scheduling, and then entrusting the research and checking to my trusted providers, so that I am not being negligent nor being compulsive. But now what? I hate waiting. Idk if/when I'll hear from her. Chronic pain in those regions due to curvature and degenerative discs are the reasons I have to get MRIs every couple of years, and now I am so somatically, obsessively aware of that pain and wondering what's going on. This post is a vent, and is my choice to express the anxiety without giving into the desire to google. I'm not seeking reassurance on whether I/my test results are going to be ok. Still, I think just some understanding and/or advice on holding myself accountable for not compulsing would be deeply appreciated. Thanks.
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