How do I forget I saw this?

Can someone pls help me, my current intrusive thought is rlly severe. I saw a very disturbing & gruesome video recently, & I don't think it's real, it's a hoax by clearly a bad person, but now the image of it won't stop popping back into my mind. It is triggered by almost everything, & it is rlly annoying, like a song stuck in my head, except it's something gory & sick, so it's worse! For those curious, I will NOT be attaching the link because it's too traumatizing, trust me, I am doing u a favor, & curiosity is what killed the cat for me, figuratively speaking. It's like that thing with OCD where if u try not to think of a pink elephant or a brown bear, that is exactly what you're going to picture or think of almost instantaneously. But ontop of feeling absolutely repulsed, disgusted, & full of anxiety, I am also feeling guilty & ashamed for even having such thoughts around Christmas time especially, when things are suppose to be innocent. I regret watching it so much, & feel f'd up for the times I "rewatched" it, but only in an attempt to find some sort of evidence that it was fake, because I so desperately want it to be fake. But the amount of ppl in comments who say it's a prosthetic are less than the amount of ppl who argue that it is real, so I'm outnumbered, & now doubting my judgement, even though I did find some near-obvious signs of it being staged. Pls provide whatever advice u know, because it has already gone on way too long, & I can't have it constantly resurfacing from my memory just to torment me. Distractions (if & when they work), are so temporary.

Username: OverthinkerocdOverthinkerocd

Date posted: 1y ago

The first step is trying to stop the thought or image makes the thought stronger. Realize this image may come back here and there. And last try your best to be in the present and dont ruminate and ask "why did i watch that" or "was it real" just accept it for what it is and overtime it will fade if you stop giving it attention.

Username: aka_momoaka_momo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I know how you feel. I have seen my fair share of disturbing material on the internet by complete accident, and first of all: you are a victim. You did not ask to see these horrible images, and I am so sorry you are going through this. I know that talking to people about this kind of stuff is scary, especially when with OCD you can feel like you're tippy-toeing on confessing. But this was a very traumatic memory for you, and what worked for me in regards to this was indeed talking to a highly trusted and vetted person about some of the things I've witnessed online unwillingly. It helps just to feel seen by someone you closely care about. Other than that, distractions and checking are indeed tempting and I also unfortunately indulge in them a lot. And best tip: stop. Looking. Things. Up. It has only damaged me and I know how much it could possibly be hurting you. There will also always be evil people online who want to scare people like those of us with OCD or minors with content that is "supposedly real" when in reality you have seen the cold hard evidence that it is fake. I will not give you any more reassurance than that. Best advice: get off the internet. If you feel like checking and looking up stuff, breathe and say "it is probably fake. I will move on with life." You understand that it is likely fake, you've said it yourself, and you don't like how it weighs you down. When these doubts come into your head, I suggest also taking a walk and working on sitting with uncertainty. Again, I know how hard that is, especially with horrible content you've seen online. But you can do hard things! I'm sorry if this advice isn't good or all over the place. You will get through this, don't give up.

Username: AnimaLover19AnimaLover19

Date posted: 1y ago

@aka_momo Thank u, that was super validating!

Username: AnimaLover19AnimaLover19

Date posted: 1y ago

I googled, & it says that maintaining a regular routine, practicing visualization during meditating, being in nature, & learning how to calmly observe a thought without actually trying to pick & set it apart, even if it isn't in sync with who I am (changing my relationship with it & how I "react" to it, but not changing me), are all ways to ease this. My problem is, even upon making it a healthy habit to tell myself "I don't care" every time it pops back in (which is slowly starting to turn into a "lie" I'm telling myself), it hasn't yet reduced the number of times it re-emerges. I guess I'm just getting rlly impatient. So like I said, if u know of any other techniques not yet mentioned, pls add it to my list 💙

Username: Yasmin

Date posted: 5y ago

Hi everyone! Hope everyone’s doing well. I just wanted to ask a question because I’ve been trying to improve with not letting the intrusive thoughts make me spiral, but something happened the other day that has been making me really upset, and down, but I don’t know if my worry is connected to my OCD or if it’s just general feelings. I just wanted some advice. Basically, I’ve been struggling with POCD and also have struggled with HOCD however the HOCD is not as bad now, however I do still frequently get the intrusive thoughts. Anyway, someone on here told me and several sites that I had been making my OCD worse by avoiding things such as masturbating or porn to avoid the intrusive thoughts in these situations. So the other day, I tried to watch some whilst masturbating, and not stopping if the intrusive thoughts came, and just try and brush them off and not have a guilt spiral. But I watched a video that came up and it was a man working as a masseuse and there were different women coming in and he was massaging them but going close to her down below and then touching her there. And the camera angle was weird, and it looked hidden and I did get a bit worried about it but just carried on. But then I looked at the top of the video and it said sponsored by hidden cameras in massage places. And then I was like omg no what if this video has been uploaded and the women didn’t have consent and they didn’t know they were being filmed and I’ve just watched a man touching them. And I didn’t stop the video, I watched for around 20 more seconds and then turned it off so now I feel so so guilty, and I feel like a terrible person. Is this my OCD ? I’m just so stressed and feel awful, I keep trying to brush the thoughts away but it’s becoming difficult to, and it’s making me feel terrible. Any help ?

Username: Ángeles

Date posted: 5y ago

I don’t know ir this happens to anyone else, but everytime I see a really violent or disgusting new in TV or something I can’t get it off my head in all day, or even week. I have this now, and is really bothering me because when I saw the new, I was painting my room, and I just can’t stop thinking that when I finish painting, I will be like: Oh, remember?, when you were painting you saw that awful thing on the news. It always happens to me, when I buy myself clothing and I have an intrusive thought I’m like: Oh, now everytime I wear this I’m going to remember... I’m looking for a way to distract myself for that thought, to relax, or just see things in a more positive way, any recommendations?:(

"Pure" OCD

Username: MJocd

Date posted: 5y ago

Please reply. I am embarrassed to share this. I dont watch porn AT ALL anymore and never will again but I keep getting intrusive images of porn scenes I saw on pornsites from a long time ago. Especially weird things, like I remember I once stumbled across porn that had a old man in it. Porn has lots of weird categories. I keep feeling bad and guilty for ever watching porn in the first place but I'm trying to remember a lot of people have watched porn/do watch it without feeling the shame I feel now, over a year after stopping watching it. My OCD is fixating on this to the point where it's making me want to throw up. I have real event/moral ocd and my ocd really tries to make me feel bad about these memories from a long time ago.

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