Hi there, I am the parent of a 13 yr old daughter with a multi diagnosis. For the last couple of years she has been suffering from a Trichotillomania. Curious: 1) if there is anyone who has this condition also, and what’s been helping you? 2) we are trying to treat one part of her diagnosis (ADHD) and I’m worried that the medication that helps executive functioning skills may increase her hair pulling. She’s currently in CBT and ERT.
ERP is the golden standard for OCD, including hair pulling. CBT makes OCD worse.
DBT skills can be helpful for self regulation. CBT only helps so far I was in CBT for years and then didn't believe I was ocd because I was "dealing with" my thoughts. I would leave feeling worse sometimes. Not every time bc I was lucky to have a patient therapist who wasn't forcing her way of practice on me, but allowed I somewhat took the lead. Now that I think about it though, that's probably why I didn't wind up getting to the root of a lot of my stuff
My very first therapist before that one would allow me to sleep in sessions bc I was so exhausted and couldn't do the work. I did not know at the time that that was terrible practice and the therapist should have referred me out if she didn't know what to do with her and allowed me to sleep. When my mom found out she was furious. I didn't realize then how not ok that was and that's why I didn't think to tell her sooner
The one where I slept i was around 13 in middle school
I benefited from CBT in some ways but it was not the overall practice to choose when targeting tricky ocd
Hope that helped you
Didn't know what to do with me*
Also, I do not believe ERP is the best method. I have been searching for how to face my fears and be brave rather than ignoring or disregarding them. a guy on tik tok suggested ACT. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. "psychotherapy that emphasizes acceptance to deal with negative thoughts, feelings, symptoms, or circumstances." And also, "uses mindfulness strategies along with commitment and behavior-change strategies to increase psychological flexibility"
I am still learning, but that is what I've gathered so far. I was high camouflaging on the autism spectrum, so masking was a whole other ball game that played into my own journey. I am glad your daughter is aware of her OCD at such an early age, she has an awesome chance to learn how to accept herself an navigate the world in the best way possible for her.
Audhd actually, which is autism and adhd together. You may look into if autistic traits in girls. Some people with both will appear to be one or the other on the outside, but really, both are playing tug of war inside.
Sorry I typed a lot and had some typos. I tend to info bomb so sorry if that overwhelmed you
I’m living proof I’ve slayed that dragon. Unfortunately a little too late. I’m happy to answer any questions
I need to write a book exposing the dumpster fire of a shitshow getting soaked by raw sewage that was EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE. the radioactive days were just a distraction to buy time and teach them whores they call sisters a lesson lmao
Every day my ocd makes sure there’s a new reason for me to stay trapped in my mind rather than being the mom I want to be that my kids need. Instead i’m stuck in my head depressed and pushing them away. The other day I was braiding my daughter’s hair like I always do and her hair is really long so when I get to the end of the braid I can see her butt in my peripheral vision and I looked down and I immediately got upset asking myself why did I look down?(the ocd has made me question everything I do now). I know it’s just because I was at the end of the braid and I just looked because I was already looking in that direction. A normal person wouldn’t even think twice about it. There was no inappropriate reason behind it at all but of course my ocd latched onto the situation and said I looked down because I wanted to look at her butt. I was so upset and said to myself “I don’t understand how the ocd started an intrusive thought because she was wearing baggy pants. I could understand if she had on tight pants and her butt was more noticeable” and the only reason I said that is because usually the only time my ocd starts intrusive thoughts telling me i’m looking at my daughter in a wrong way is when she has on leggings or a crop top or bathing suit ect. Now my ocd twisted what I said to mean that I like looking at her in tight pants. Nooo! That’s not what I meant but now the ocd won’t stop trying to make me believe that. I don’t ever look at my children in any inappropriate way. I hate this. I hate ocd and I can’t live like this anymore.
Hi everyone, I’m Cayla. I’m a mom that’s lived with OCD since childhood, but my breaking point came more recently after having my son. I was consumed by terrifying thoughts—What if I hurt him? What if I did something awful without realizing it? I was so afraid of my own mind that I couldn’t be alone with him. The shame and exhaustion were unbearable, and I convinced myself I was broken. In 2024, I finally sought help. ERP therapy at NOCD was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it saved my life. Even now, I have tough days, but I know I don’t have to be ruled by OCD. When my 12 year old daughter began showing signs of OCD, I felt overwhelmed with guilt. I never wanted her to go through what I had, but I knew what to do. I told her that I have OCD too and made sure she knew it wasn’t her fault—and that she wasn’t alone. One of the hardest parts of this journey was trusting someone else with my daughter’s OCD. I knew how vulnerable it feels to share intrusive thoughts, and I wanted her to feel safe. Her NOCD therapist was able to establish trust and genuine empathy from the start, and that relationship gave her the confidence to face ERP head-on. Seeing her build that trust made me certain she was in the right hands. ERP has helped both of us reclaim our lives, and it is beautiful to see my daughter managing her condition and making visible progress. Parenting with OCD while raising a child with OCD isn’t talked about enough, but I know so many parents are struggling with these same challenges. If you have questions about managing OCD while parenting, helping your child through ERP, or breaking cycles of guilt, drop them below—I’d love to share what I’ve learned. I’ll be answering all of the questions I receive in real-time today 4-5pm ET.
She's been dealing with this for years but I've never seen her like this. She has her first visit with a nocd therapist tomorrow. How can I help her?
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