I don’t watch porn often, but if I do, and if I ever go on to porn websites I just feel so uncomfortable and dirty afterwards. I clicked on one of the main porn websites and clicked out after seeing the titles because I just felt so uncomfortable. Now I feel dirty for even searching up porn. I can’t really take that back as it’s done now. How can I get over the dirty feeling though?
Figure this you are over legal age and as long as the people you are viewing are legal age and consenting adults I would not worry at all. Just move on with your day, the best that you can.
^ personally I disagree with perspective but just try not to beat yourself up over it and change for the better, however you think you should.
The “dirty” feelings will pass. Just remember that when it comes to OCD, porn can be very triggering. It can ruin anything and I have the same issue at the moment. After I’m done doing what I’m done despite me not doing anything wrong, it has ruined it with false and stupid connections. For example, I’m not looking at cp, I don’t look at that stuff but because porn is porn and cp is an illegal and another form of porn, my brain links the two together and I panic even tho I’m looking at every day regular porn.
Personally, no offense,I don't think this is OCD. My POV,I believe Porn is dirty and technically should make u uncomfortable 😬 but I don't mean to beat you up about it or for you to beat yourself up over it. porn works the same way as an addictive drug. You'll keep going back to it even though you feel awful afterwards. A lot of times people watch porn when they're lonely or trying to escape reality. Do you have sexual OCD ? Or is something triggering you to watch it? Is it a compulsion to deal with thoughts you are having etc.. I would say first step is figuring out your why, why are you watching it and why are you feeling bad. That way you can better decipher whether this is OCD or not.... And the best action to take ..
@RachaelvsOctopus Hi, it is related to my OCD as I struggle with moral OCD and have done for a long time.
Okay, so I was exposed to porn at 9. My older cousin came over to the house and asked if I could keep a secret and stuff and then he showed me porn. I got addicted to it ngl. I would watch it whenever I could and would always think about it when I wasn’t home. Because of this, I started reading mangas on this one website and I was still in elementary school when I started reading these I think, either that or middle school. Anyways, there was this one about these kids who did it and I was like oh I’m the same age as them and all that you know so I didn’t think much of it. I would still read it up to when I was in high school but I wouldn’t like read it often, I would just read it because I was familiar with it and it felt like I was still their age for some reason, like I didn’t see them as kids you know, it felt like they were my age. Oh my god, that makes it sound even worse. When my POCD started, I stopped reading that story because I was it terrified me so a little before I turned 18. I keep going back and forth on whether or not I’m actually a pedophile or not. I don’t know if it’s because I was exposed to that stuff so early and my cousin would constantly talk about sex when he was with me. I thought it was so normal to be reading and looking at that stuff. I didn’t realize. I’m scared that my nephews are going to be exposed to that so early like I was. My POCD mostly targets my nephews and now I’m scared that I’ll do the same thing to them and show them that stuff (I never will) or that I genuinely do like that stuff. I feel like throwing up while writing this. I just don’t want to be one. I’m sorry if this triggers you or if this seems like I’m seeking reassurance and maybe I am. I genuinely don’t know right now. I think I just needed to get this off my chest because I’ve been worrying about it for awhile.
Sorry if this is a bit of an odd post, but I’m wondering if there are any girls out there that have specifically struggled with shame around watching porn? A lot of my real-event ocd stems from watching that kind of content in the past, and for some reason it feels particularly taboo as a woman. As a young teen, I saw some genuinely disturbing things, and I think a lot of that was to do with having unrestricted access to the internet. However, despite lots of people telling me “that’s normal teen curiosity” it just never feels like it applies to me, and that I’m genuinely just a sexual deviant. I think because that kind of content is so graphic and overstimulating it’s really stuck in my brain, and I just wish I could turn back the clock and switch off the computer. I’ve recently been struggling with doing typical ‘girly’ stuff because I feel tainted and gross, and I just want to get back to feeling myself again.
I’m really struggling right now. My mind is racing and I’m panicking about the content that I watched in the past because I don’t have a way to ‘prove’ that it was safe and consensual. I stupidly caved in and googled “what happens if an accidentally saw illegal porn” and I ended up making my anxiety so much worse. What if the images I saw in the past had underage people in them? Am I going to jail? Will my ip address be tracked? My brain is making all sorts of scenarios up and they feel so real. At this point I don’t know if I’m a bad person or not, I just feel like something terrible is about to happen. Although I know I’d never intentionally look for that kind of stuff there’s still a chance that I could have seen things without realising, and I actually don’t know what to do. I’m in total panic mode
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