I’m back.

Hi about a week ago I found out I have ocd and chronic anxiety! I tried zoloft and it was terrible for me. I also started therapy and I take hydroxyzine but I will discuss further medication with my doctor. My question is I have a huge fear that I'm going crazy, I am crazy, or schizophrenic to the point I'm so hyper aware of my surrounding ill look out the corner of my eye to make sure I'm nit seeing anything ill make sure to double check what I'm hearing and it's so draining! I get really scared and go into a panic and cry 😅 I need some reassurance has anyone felt this way my doctor and therapist explained it to me but I'm still very scared. I feel like one day I'll have a break and I won't be the same! I tried the grounding exercise and breathing it helps temporarily. I also cut out smoking weed and none of my family has this but I feel like I have it or ill develope it even though it's rare!

Hello last year I had gone thru a very rough time In my life where I needed to be put on Zoloft 50mg around march 2024. I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and OCD. Ive been suffering from OCD since I was like 11 and depression since I was 19, but I never sought help until last year Im 27 because I knew I needed it to help me get thru life. I was on 3 months on Zoloft and I went to a trip to Miami which honestly helped me so much, I honestly attribute that trip to Miami in healing me more than the Zoloft it self. I met my current girlfriend there. After coming back I felt like a new person. I still kept taking the Zoloft 50mg until late April (2025) this year when I decided to tapper down to 25mg by my self without a doc recommendation, I didn’t feel anything during the month of may this year until like may 30th when I woke up in a panic and I felt like I was back at square 1 before I started Zoloft. Mind you ive been thru some life changes, I recently graduated RN school and my gf moved in with me. Ever since the end of may I’ve been very anxious, my OCD is on high gear and my depression too. I went back up to 50mg I’m seeing a new doc, my questions is has anyone gone thru a similar situation? If so what helped you and how long did it take you to stabilize ?

I suffer since 10 - 15 yrs from specific fears. It was years that my OCD constantly wanted to be checked if I have HIV or not. I had a lot of sex and I thought this is normal. But I ruminated in my backhead about and was testing like 5 - 10 times a year. After the test I felt everytime so relieved. In Corona I was addicted to porn and even I lost control and was watching pretty hard stuff. I was chatting with a girl and we fantasized about really disturbing things. I never wanna meet her and for me was sure it's just kinda onlinestuff. I was in a relationship 3 years now. And I lost fear of HIV. But then came Morality OCD, Real Event (this chat) and after some times POCD. This combination was knocking me out, I felt like the badest person on earth. I did everything wrong and searched for relief and reassurance. It put me to the point of suicidal. I never ever hurting somebody, but my brain was making me a monster. I had to quit the relationship because I just couldn't give her what she deserved. I was in a clinic for 3 months. And we tested medication with ERP (before I took escitalopram for years). Anafranil was working first, then too many side-effects. I tried even without meds, but was so depressed. Now on sertralin for 5 weeks, but only 2 weeks on therapeutic dose 200mg. And wow, now I really feel so confused in the brain. I feel like how big my OCD became. The specific thoughts are not anymore, BUT it sticks on EVERYTHING atm. It's delusional how it feels in the brain. I really hope so deep my brain makes finally a reset and I need to wait it out. I could live with OCD for a long time but the last 1-2 yrs it took absolutely everything. I remark that POCD doesn't stick anymore like before but my brain is now constructing a very bad future because of past mistakes (that I all discussed with family, friends for relief over and over and over again). So it's like my OCD is now Real Event (The sexchat) again. Anyone was on the same point in life?