I really struggle with knowing when to do erp and whether to just push through because sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and dysregulated in life that it’s like why add more? It’s almost like flooding oneself purposefully. I don’t know if I need to tone down the exposures or what to do ?
I’ll speak from my personal experience with this. ERP is exhausting, and it’s hard. It took me time, but I had to learn when I was avoiding my homework, vs when I truly did not have the mental space to do exposures. My therapist assigns me a weekly number of exposures, and I usually do them all by Thursday prior to my Monday session. Keeping dedicated days during the week to do my erp helps me stay on track. Pushing through has helped reinforce to my ocd that it doesn’t control me, that I am going to confront my hard exposures because that is my way through. Most of the time, when I feel like avoiding my homework, I do it anyway. Even if I had a bad day at work, or I’m scared. And it’s not easy. I never look forward to my exposures. But I always feel better when they’re done, and doing all this hard work has helped me progress. For you, i would ask your therapist for help prioritizing your OCD. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed in other parts of your life, work on managing that stress. Do as much self care as you can, and remember that working on your OCD is just as important as other things in your life. I also want to sympathize, because I know how hard it is to have OCD, and to try to manage it on top of anything else life throws at you. Im going through a really really hard breakup, and at first I didn’t want to work on my ERP because everything sucked. But continuing to do ERP has helped me and it prevents me from going back. I hope this helps, and of course this is my POV because I don’t know you or your circumstances. I hope you find a good balance.
That was really well said. I'm also on the tail end of a difficult breakup, and it has been so hard to feel motivated to do ERP. What did you find helped you to do ERP even when everything sucked?
@Theocdguitarist I’m sorry you’re going through a breakup too. What helped me is seeing how my OCD was flaring up after the breakup. I was really focused on how sad I was, and how stressed. My mind was telling me that I needed to focus only on the breakup, that my ERP could go on the back burner. But I talked to my therapist, and she reminded me that my OCD won’t go away just because I have a big life event going on. So for me, it came down to not wanting to backslide. My OCD was latching on to any and everything after I left my fiancé, and I had to come to terms with the idea that ERP was going to be hard again. I had to accept that I had high stress levels, but acknowledge that this is when my OCD gets stronger. Sometimes I wish I could push my OCD aside and focus on other life events, but that’s not how it works for me. Even when I had a break from doing exposures, my OCD was still there. So I had to choose myself by focusing on ERP even when I didn’t want to, because in the future it would pay off. 4 months later, I’m glad I stuck with it.
@Theocdguitarist I also did not want to keep going to session and telling my therapist I didn’t finish my homework, lol. It would scare me to do that (plus she would still make me do the exposures), so having that accountability/fear of disappointing my therapist helps. She is wonderful and I love working with her, so I had to hold myself accountable.
@Anonymous So just for some hindsight I do not feel better after exposures but I feel much worse. I’m doing this while trying to get pregnant and struggling with infertility and I also had a death in my family last month alongside a very large project for my company. It’s just been a lot.
@artsygirl I think what bothers me the most is feeling like I do the exposures and I’m not feeling ok until the next day. I’m wondering if they are too high. I’m trying my best to do the things while also handling life but some of this is out of my control.
@artsygirl I’m sorry ☹️ that’s a lot on your shoulders. Is your therapist willing to adjust your exposures, to something lighter or less frequent?
Are you in therapy or just practising erp yourself? If your in therapy I’d say speak about this with them. When I have really bad days/week normally due to my cycle I find that I do not have the emotional energy to do exposures and that I would be too overwhelmed if I tried and I don’t want to push myself too far. My therapist agrees with this as in a way it is also practising self compassion. OCD may be the main stressor but there are other stressors in our life and sometimes it is more compassionate to not do erp. And give ourselves a break. Ofc im not an therapist but thought I’d share my experience with you.
Thanks. I am in therapy with nocd. My therapist says if you’re not working on erp then the ocd is growing … she isn’t as understanding. It’s been kind of rough. I’ll speak with them when they are back. Took day off to focus on myself and be kind. I did an exposure and felt extremely flooded so I’m giving myself some time to do some things to relax and just try to get myself to a better spot.
I think I need to tell them and vocalize more. I could just use some wins no matter how small. We are going to be doing intrauterine insemination soon. I’m just very scared about it failing .
I think it also feels like I’m doing the exposures and I’m flooding- I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere or that it’s really going down. I think I need to have an honest conversation.
@artsygirl The honest conversation will help you. And you can always change your therapist if it gets to that point-I’ve heard the member advocates on the app are helpful there. But I hope the conversation really helps you, and I hope the insemination goes well for you. Do you have a support system you can lean on-friends, family, others going through infertility? Or have you tried going to a NOCD support group?
@Anonymous Nocd support groups yes !
@artsygirl Good! They’re so helpful
Happy Tuesday friends. Question for you all: I have recently started ERP therapy (about one month ago) and I feel in a way it has helped. But I also notice that I feel the thoughts I do have are SO intense that I feel like I’m gonna explode and then I’ll cry and get upset but then feel better after having a “freak out”. Does this happen to any of you guys? Also, I told my therapist yesterday some of the exposures we had been doing made me uncomfortable. Like really really uncomfortable. She made me feel a little bad about not doing it and stated this would prolong my progress if I didn’t do it. I’m not sure if I should push my self to do this exposure because she told me to or to stick up for myself and move at my own pace. Thanks everyone.
i would like some advice please and i didn't get any responses 😭.. apologies for reposting but just need some thoughts on this 🥲 //// after frustrations with erp not working, i intentionally brought up the intrusive mental images as well as sensations during an exposure in trying to practice desensitizing myself to them. but now im scared that me purposefully bringing on the images and especially the disturbing outward sensations means that i did something bad or acted on my thought since i took the action to purposefully create and bring the disturbing intrusive images and thoughts and feelings. now it feels like not just a fear but reality. and my anxiety levels are just too much. i'm just feeling terrible and would like some thoughts or support
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
