Scrupulosity OCD help needed

I really need to talk to someone. My psychologist says I have scrupulosity OCD, but I don't believe it because the things I have done are much worse (not feeding my cat or changing his litter box, not reporting things to the SPCA, or reporting animal abuse properly and just trying not to think about it, feeling like I don't care about anything, not walking my dog or spending time with her for a long time). Can anyone relate? I just feel really bad and like I need to confess so people can tell me what they think. I feel like I'm still going to go the same things and not care about changing. If it wasn't for my mother I wonder how long I would leave feeding my cat.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Sometimes I have a hard time taking care of my pets, like avoiding checking to see if they have food and water. In my case, it's probably OCD.

Username: CaitlinNZCaitlinNZ

Date posted: 1y ago

Thanks for your comment. I just went on a mental health chat line and they think I should ring the SPCA for advice on whether not feeding my cat for 19 hours is animal neglect and not walking my dog. I'm really worried about what they're going to say and whether I should give away my animals. I feel like this is so much more than OCD, like I just don't care.

Username: CaitlinNZCaitlinNZ

Date posted: 1y ago

@CaitlinNZ They think I should ask if I'm neglecting my animals

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@CaitlinNZ I hear you. A lot of times obsessions and compulsions feel like they're more than OCD

Username: CaitlinNZCaitlinNZ

Date posted: 1y ago

The helpline said I should call the SPCA?

Username: CaitlinNZCaitlinNZ

Date posted: 1y ago

I'm thinking back now and realising that I've always been cruel and neglectful to my animals. I feel like I've portrayed a certain aspect of myself that I don't think is real.

Username: CaitlinNZCaitlinNZ

Date posted: 1y ago

I feel like I'm empty inside. Like I've faked genuine emotion. All the volunteering I've done with animals, I felt like I didn't enjoy it or take it seriously. I don't take my animals to the vet straight away (unless it's an emergency), I've put it off for months at times. I don't feel like I'm going to change. I don't spend time with my dog during the day and feel like I've really neglected her. She hasn't been walked in so long. She has behavioural problems and I tried, but then I feel like I just gave up. I don't feel like my therapists opinion is right, like she is too soft and doesn't know what justifies animal neglect. I read a post on Reddit about a young guy whose dogs are in a garage and don't always get fed every day. People thought he was very neglectful and should give away his animals if he couldn't look after them. I feel like I need to post somewhere like that where people are real and honest.

Username: CaitlinNZCaitlinNZ

Date posted: 1y ago

I don't see how I could have OCD and be like this as well

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Sorry, I didn't respond earlier because I don't get notifications unless a reply is directly to my own comment. I often feel like my volunteer work is empty as well. I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it doesn't look like OCD, but that doesn't mean it isn't OCD -- society has created a distorted view of what is and isn't OCD. And I know how you feel, wanting to go to someone who will be honest with you. I feel that honesty is really important, and I want it too, even if it isn't always pleasant. I'll be honest with you. And I don't mean this to hurt your feelings, I don't think it's as bad as you think it is, and I wish this wasn't over text because text leaves room for miscommunication, so take this with a grain of salt, but you might honestly have your animals in less-than-perfect conditions. I can't tell you for sure that's what I think you're doing, because I can't see their conditions, and I know that people with OCD can often be hard on themselves (like myself). But I have the same problem with how I might leave pets. You and I have room for improvement. Nobody perfectly takes care of the ones they love. But we don't completely neglect our animals either; you mention your mom -- you have other people you know will take care of them when you can't, and so do I. But we also can't expect to "just be better". It takes time and effort to improve, but most importantly it takes a desire to improve, something I think you have. And you need grace with yourself. Yeah, you know your actions aren't always perfect, but since you know that, you can improve! And don't think you'll improve once and be all good -- improvement is a constant process. And improvement isn't always visible to us, especially to the person who is improving. Again, take this with a grain of salt. And if you wanna talk, I can listen. My perspective is that people can be honest AND compassionate about stuff.

Username: JenniesOCDBrainJenniesOCDBrain

Date posted: 1y ago

hey there, i really hear how tough things are for you right now, especially with the weight of feeling like you're not caring for your pets the way you want to. it's clear you're carrying a lot of distress, and it's brave of you to reach out and share that here. 🖤 i've been in that rough spot too, and what was a game-changer for me was this free AI tool called "unstuck" (www.keepunstuck.com/try) that my OCD therapist recommended. it'll be especially helpful for you because it can guide you through those moments when you're struggling with scrupulosity and feeling stuck, providing personalized step-by-step support just like an OCD therapist would with ERP. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: KelSul73

Date posted: 1y ago

Scrupulosity & real event/false memory OCD:

Hey- so I’ve had a rather rocky relationship with God and I’ve always been back and forth but in the darkest times of my life, I have tried to turn to God for consolation. But long before I discovered NOCD, I had a very disturbing cycle of OCD situations for months on end of waking up in the middle of night and calling my pastor/ youth counselor trying to clarify if I had committed the unforgivable sin. Because I have had such an up-and-down relationship with God and going astray so often and all of that- I worried that because it felt like I was being struck by a demon trying to urge me to say (I didn’t say out loud but like a low, inaudible mumble in my mouth) “saying” that God was the opposite of what He is… ever since then I’ve struggled with that moment so much and in that moment, it didn’t feel like I 100% cared about doing it. Because I had been constantly plagued with these obsessive thoughts for so long and didn’t understand what they were, I gave in cause I was exhausted from battling it for so long but it didn’t come out like how it’s described in the Bible…. Idk. I just hate myself thinking about it because I have always been one to skid along boundaries so I feel like it was mocking God because I was angry and it just fills me with fear, upset and panic… I remember feeling so terrified and the physical sensation like my chest was burning and I just felt like I was empty… has anyone else ever gone so far in their OCD that they wondered if they could ever come back?

Username: Bluebells

Date posted: 40w ago

Help

I need some support from anyone who’s willing to offer it, please. My ocd, particularly scrupulosity, has been making my life a living hell. I can’t ignore my suspicions and compulsions and they rule my life. I’m debating whether or not the God I rely on even exists, and quite frankly I’ve been thinking about suicide. I don’t know how to tell my loved ones. I was in a position where I had to talk someone down from suicide at a young age and it crushed me afterwards. I know suicide is wrong, and I’m scared to think about it, but I don’t know how I can live. I just need someone to know.

Username: chihuahua_girl

Date posted: 31w ago

Religion OCD

Hello, I’m very new to this and have never confessed the fact that I struggle with severe scrupulosity (religion ocd) to anyone before. I am not officially diagnosed but I have spent countless hours researching and know that I am dealing with this horrible mental illness. I can’t function anymore. The intrusive thoughts are getting so bad. The moment I wake up they begin to pop into my head & I can’t even sleep because they are just running all over my mind. The thoughts are so bad that I don’t want to repeat them but they mostly are blasphemous bad thoughts. I avoid praying and religious services because it triggers my bad thoughts. I cannot control anything and I have no access to therapy because I’m so scared to ask for help and don’t know how to even describe to my family what I am going through. It’s so debilitating and I just keep repeating these scripts to myself to try and relieve my mind but it just starts all over again. It’s non stop and I know I cannot keep going like this. I don’t know whats real or isn’t, I just want a break. I’m so scared of everything and it’s interfering with my life more and more. If anyone could share some words of encouragement or tips it would be greatly appreciated.

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Scrupulosity OCD help needed

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