Wish my OCD wasn’t focused on food 😵‍💫

Have any of you been stuck in what feels like an OCD loop? It’s like being held hostage by OCD. It’s like everything becomes a trigger. Like there isn’t a part of the day where I’m not having intrusive thoughts because it’s the only thing my brain can think about. So every conversation I’m thinking of horrible things I could say, every time I pet my dog think of things I could do to hurt her, anytime I drive I think of hitting pedestrians, every time I’m alone I think of ways I could hurt myself. It honestly feels like my brains on fire I’m starting to think I might have some kind of destructive brain tumour because I can’t comprehend how this can all be mental illness. It’s the ‘urge’ I can’t deal with it feels so real. I’ve had mental illness and likely OCD my whole life but nothing has ever made me feel as scared and hopeless as this. I’ve been having horrible migraine attacks daily for months and I think the trigger is the stress and anxiety these thoughts cause. I feel like I can never rest. It’s like my head is caught in a vice and my eye sight is constant flashes and static. Blood tests normal and two eye tests back normal. I can barely work as my whole job is computer based. I don’t even know how I would begin to do ERP because it feels like I’d have to tackle EVERYTHING about being alive! I also don’t think I have any compulsions. If I do none of them provide any relief so it’s basically just me feeling like I’m going insane every single day since October. It’s impossible to relax when my brain thinks we’re either going to die of a brain tumour or going insane and hurting myself against my will or doing something to someone else that would mean I would have to kill myself. My brain honestly believes it’s inevitable I won’t be along for much longer and it’s petrifying. I don’t know how to get better until I can reset my body to get out of this cycle. How am I supposed to move forward when my brain and body is in constant fight and flight? Does anybody relate? My brain doesn’t even believe this is OCD anymore… I guess this is reassurance but I’m having such a terrible time.

Hi everyone. I have food allergy ocd. Eating anything is hard for me. Especially if I’ve never had it before. It’s causing a lot of distress for me. Eating something new means I will probably spend at least an hour in anguish over whether or not it will give me an allergic reaction. I sometimes convince myself it is actually happening and it’s so frightening. I feel like nobody else has this theme and it makes me feel more alone and isolated since I’ve never heard anyone talk about it. I miss when it wasn’t so hard but I worry that once I stop worrying then that’s when it will happen. Anyone have any advice?? 🥺🥺

I ate a frozen pizza and in the middle of eating it I imagined to myself "what if it was an edible cookie" because the way I was eating it it was the shape of a cookie due to not having pizza cutter around (or at least I cant find one) I just cant stand the thought of the possibility of accidentally eating an edible unknowingly or just anything drugged and I'm exhausted of this irrational fear controlling every single day and triggering panic attacks (or anxiety). I wasn't always like this, why is this happening to me now??? I used to be a very impulsive person and eat whatever was put in front of me, and I've always been fine, so why is this eating me now? To be honest I feel calm typing this right now, just a little frightened that I scared myself with that thought, but I'm scared that this calmness won't last long. I hate this!