have y‘all ever experienced emotional dependency on a friend? like when you are feeling down, they are the first one to go to for emotional support. and when they are busy / can’t give you attention right now, you feel sadder? i’ve always been like that but now this collides with my so-ocd and it’s the worst 😔
I'm sorry. That sounds hard. I haven't experienced that. But I feel like I'm emotionally dependent, just with nobody to depend on. Idk, that's how it feels anyway. I don't feel like I get a lot of support. But maybe I do and I'm just being unreasonable, but I really don't know. Sorry, I hope I don't sound like I'm making this about me :( But I'm sorry, that does sound hard
@Anonymous that also sounds very hard! i’m sorry you feel that way :(
I totally understand what you mean. I have only a single best friend where I live and if they’re busy, don’t want to talk, etc., I get sad and feel even more hopeless or they don’t like me, are too busy to deal with me, don’t want to deal with me or be with me, or just think I’m bothering them. Honestly, if you feel any of the above, seek reassurance. Ask them if you are bothering them. However, if they are busy, just understand people have lives and sometimes even you are busy. Just because their busy, doesn’t mean they are ignoring you. They will get to you when they can! Sometimes life just gets in the way!
@Anonymous im sorry that you can relate :( thanks for the advice! normally i think so too, but now my so-ocd tells me, that how i am feeling is because i am actually in love with her 😔
Yes! + I used to feel so sad and betrayed when we used to fight etc so it makes me feel like I have a stronger connection to women which makes my SOOCD stronger… additionally, I have a bf but when Im feeling really sad I feel like talking to my best friends is the only thing that makes me feel better because the words that come from their mouth have more effect on my than when my bf tries to make me feel better. So I totally feel you!
@Anonymousesti @Anonymousesti i am so thankful for your comment! i’m sorry you have to go through this, but i feel relieved that there are other people experiencing this, too. i felt so down the last 2 days because i could not figure out what all this chaos in my head meant. do you also want to tell her about good news first? i don’t have a boyfriend so i don’t know if that would change. but between all my friends, i would want to tell her first
@e.hkp - Yes! Bad news or good news! I talked about it with my therapist and she said « best friends are also relationship and when you fight it can be even worse than a heartbreak » . I dont know if this helps!
@Anonymousesti it does, thank you! i also feel like on some days she’s in my head all the time. i do not fantasize or anything but it’s just feels like when ocd and the doubts are in the back of your head all the time
@Anonymousesti have you ever experienced that too?
@e.hkp - Yes!
Can you have OCD but with a friendship? Like ROCD but without the romantical side, i guess? I have this one friend that I'm beginning to obsessively worry that I don't actually want to be friends with her, but I don't understand why. She's honestly a really great person, but sometimes can trigger some of my old OCD themes (not that she knows or does this intentionally of course). We met 2 or 3 months ago before a morning uni class and see each other a couple of times a week usually, and we've met each other outside of it twice and I felt like I honestly enjoyed myself. But I can't help but shake the feeling that I just don't want to be friends. What does this mean and how do I stop obsessing over it?
Hello this is my first time posting here sorry for the long post in advance I just have to speak on this. I am a 19 year old female, and my friend is also a 19 year old female. Last year my friend who was in rehab came to stay with me after I helped her leave because she would call me crying saying it was the worst place on the planet and asking for my help. So I asked my mom if it was alright for her to stay with us and to be completely honest I thought she would say no, however she said yes not realizing it would be such a long time. So she has been living with me since August of last year. I think I’ve started compulsively taking care of her. She has 2 traumatic brain injuries and severe PTSD and bipolar 2. Before rehab she lived with her wildly abusive parents (based solely off the things she’s said and one interaction where her mother made me let her go through my purse) and she used a shit ton of drugs and drank basically everyday. All that to say she’s basically clean besides vaping (which I hate) and weed because it is the only thing that helps her pain. But recently she’s been getting a bit worse because she went through a very bad breakup with someone she barley knew and she was told by my mom that she has till the end of this month to move out. Which I feel horrible about but my house already has 5 adults living in a three bedroom one bathroom house not built for 6 people and it’s destroying my mental wellbeing. To get to the point I’m worried caring for her has become a compulsion in the way that I feel like if I’m not constantly making sure she’s not spiraling or relapsing I’m worried someday I’m gonna wake up to one of her everyday hour long texts and it’s going to be a goodbye text. I feel immense amounts of anxiety when I speak to her even if it’s a good day. Oh and to make a quick note we are as opposite as it gets I’m an anxiety ridden introvert that hates drugs other than weed and she’s the complete opposite of that. I’ve also dropped like 2 of my only friend in part because of her not fully but slightly. I just feel so much regret when it comes to the entire situation and I feel like I permanently altered the way my brain thinks when it comes to my decisions. But I just can’t think of her living alone it brings me so much fear to think she won’t have the bodily autonomy she needs to be able to live a comfortable life. She’s tried so many times to commit suicide and they never went through and she doesn’t want to but people’s whose brains have been hurt like hers has are basically hard wired to want to die. I feel cruel for wanting her to live because I truly believe she can have a somewhat fulfilling life if she can get to that point I just can’t trust that someone will care for her the way I do but it like physically pains me. I get such bad anxiety I shake and tense up and my muscles hurt but I feel so bad even feeling like that because she feels so much worse on a daily basis. Like I can’t say anything without her reminding me how much pain she’s in and she does it because it’s the only way she knows how to relate to the world. I’m worried about what life will be like when she’s not here. I feel like I’ll never have a day of peace if I don’t know she’s alive. I don’t really know what I’m asking for here I just needed to voice this because if there is anybody who possibly understands I need to know.
I feel like often I care much more than the average person does about relationships with people I meet. Like for some reason there’s just an insane drive inside me to get REALLY close to everyone, even if I don’t really like them. Sometimes, if I don’t feel like I am getting close to somebody I start to panic (which I don’t understand). After having falling outs or just drifting apart I have a really hard time letting go, or if I think/speak negatively of a person I no longer talk to it feels like I’m betraying them even if I have no desire for that person to be in my life and fully believe what I am saying! I thought maybe it’s related to obsessing about morality but I really don’t know. I was just curious if others ever felt this way.
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