Intrusive Thought Separation

Sometimes when your intrusive thoughts are especially loud or scary, you can start to feel "fused" with them, and it can be hard to separate yourself from the thoughts. If it feels like your thoughts represent who you are as a person, or if it gets challenging to differentiate between what the thoughts are saying and what you actually value or want, these are some ways that being fused with your thoughts can show up. In this case, adding some distance between your identity and your thoughts can be helpful. We call this “defusion.” ➡️ Swipe for some strategies to separate, or defuse, yourself from your intrusive thoughts!

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Date posted: 1y

Can someone explain how you’d apply these tips to SOOCD please? Context - one day in my mid 20s I had a thought I didn’t feel enough for my then GF. That caused instant panic and anxiety. It was like my brain said I couldn’t have what I wanted and I spent months trying to figure out why. That then led to the question “are you gay?” Since then (8 years later) it’s been a daily battle of my thoughts making me feel like I’m gay and me not being able to tell what I am anymore.

Littlemisshiss

Date posted: 1y

@gp Seems like once you had the thought that you weren’t good enough (guilty 🙋‍♀️ of that) you started trying to find evidence to support the claim- that’s where the thought of maybe I’m gay came in. You may be someone like me who likes to have reasons or logic for everything. So your brain gave you a thought, that could be a logical solution to your made up problem- not being good enough for your gf. Seems like since you understand being gay is a logical solution you’ve been ruminating on that thought for years but forgetting the initial problem was made up. You were always good enough! Trust yourself. You know exactly what your true preferences are. Ask yourself, if I didn’t have these thoughts telling me I’m gay, would I ever consider that for myself? Reminder you are NOT your thoughts. Thoughts are JUST thoughts and they do not define who you are as a person and really don’t even belong to you, they are just passing through randomly. Related to this article, maybe I am having the thought that I could be gay. Ask yourself is there any evidence to support this? Is there any evidence to support I am not? I hope this helps ✨

Date posted: 1y

@Littlemisshiss Hi and thanks for the response and advice. A lot of it makes a lot of sense. You’re correct, logic seems to be an inbuilt thing for me, always has. The real difficult thought that I seem to struggle getting unstuck from is this feeling that it’s true. It’s kind of like a part of me believes I am gay, despite no actual evidence. I think because it’s a ‘feeling’ or maybe I’m just defining a thought incorrectly as a feeling, it just seems to drag me back into the ‘you just be gay’ ‘you are in denial’ ‘enter any and all statements of my brain finding every bit of evidence it can to prove it’ Does that make sense?

Date posted: 1y

@Littlemisshiss The initial trigger was certainly me searching for evidence of why I felt nothing/not enough for my then gf. It literally just popped into my head and it felt like it instantly stole my ability to feel any sort of attraction. It then became an obsessive search for why. I obviously felt sick with guilt but it also felt like I had something taken from me against my will. For months I tried to figure out why. Potentially rOCD ?

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