Something isnt right...

For a week now i try to do what i need to do for recovery but it doesnt work, and its not the "it gets worse" i dont expect to suddenly just go away, thats not what we suppose to do. I try to just move on and let the thoughts and emotions be but i make myself react even more than i used to. It used to work and i was able to sit with the emotions and thoughts, now it just works me up more and i react more, which makes me angry and frustrated which makes it worse and worse. Im kinda tired now, idk whats the problem.

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

I even have fear about getting back where i was, even that i learned alot sometimes i have these feelings like i forgot everything and i react the same as i did in the past. And im afraid to experience the emotions and urges i had back then. Ofcourse this makes ocd stronger. Just saying "maybe i will get back there maybe not" doesnt help cause the fear is really strong and it will just make me be afraid more. But if i accept that it has to come back so i face it, it makes me depressed that i have to face that again. How should i change my attitude?

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I'm sorry your feeling that way- it sucks. I get afraid my horrible thoughts will come back when I'm older too. The "maybe I will, maybe I won't" thing has never really worked for me. What I focus on is- progress isn't linear. I also try to remind myself how I was at my worst to see how far I've come. Also: Do you have to accept it has to come back? Because if it feels like you think you either have to accept it will come back or accept it won't- that's kinda like asking for reassurance or certainty- which we don't need. And because we don't know if it will or it won't- it doesn't matter. You don't have to think about it, you can "put it aside" (ignore it) because it's not helpful and focusing on it stops you from living your life and you don't have to accept anything because you don't need reassurance or to "face it". (I feel like I have to face it too- all the time) And remind yourself you are in control, (even if it feels like you aren't) I don't know if this will work for you but it's how I approach this sort of thing. I'm sorry you're struggling, I know how it feels and it sucks so bad, I hope you feel better.

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous What i struggle alot is when i hear about emotional acceptance and i interpret that as i avoid accepting that i experience something like depression or i fall back im my recovery and accepting that im depressed or that im back where i was and i have to deal those feelings again makes me feel dissapointed and sad. Many times i find that i should just accept that im sad and not depressed cause depression is a big word and that develops after time, not just hits you suddenly...

Aquario

Date posted: 24w

need advice

my therapist isnt avaible for a this week and this weeks been hell, cant focus, i keep getting stuck in my thoughts, if i predict something will happen and it doesnt, my brain gets stuck on what if it did and then my obession keeps going, i keep trying to not pay attention or let go of my thoughts but feels like im in a trance when the thoughts come up and feels hard to snap out of it. also since my ocd is to the point of disability (despite social security keeps denying me) i cant go out much and my fears have been getting more and more dehabilitating and i dont know how to properly fix it, i dont know the right way to respond to these thoughts, i dont know how to let go, its just been super rough and demoralizing...

Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

Recovery not working

so right now my HOCD feels EXTREMELY LOUD AND STRONG, ive been trying nonstop today stating how im allowing to feel all the thoughts and feelings and let them be here for as long as they want and not figure it out, engage with it, just allowing it to be here all day long if it wants, and it has, but the EXTREME hyperfocus is there and it feels so real and feels so loud and strong that im focusing on it and trying to move on to others but cant. Ive been trying say only once that"Its just my OCD, these thoguths feelings, sensations and doubts are not me, im going to allow it to stay here as long as it can" but that doesnt work, its like as if im full of shit and i know it. ive been trying to just saying"oh well" or "cool" not caring, but im still hyperfocus on it, wtf?

Anonymous

Date posted: 14w

I feel screwed

so its been three days now its it really bad, Im trying to just "tolerate and allow the feelings to be here for as long as it wants," not fixing it, not figuring it out, just allowing it to be a cloud raining on me while im doing my thing, but it doesnt work!! It gives me these intesne, loud, real feeelings that make me feel like i am gay and that I just need to accept it. Like its the hyperfocusing that I cant control that makes me focus on the feelings when im trying to do something else, allowing it to be there but still doing my own thing however Im still paying attention to the feeling, and the thoughts feel intense, and its like this ALLLL DAY, for three days straight. I dont know what to do anymore, because ERP doesnt seem to be working.

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