I’m worried bc feels like i’m not disgusted or scared enough by my thoughts, does this mean i want to do them? I feel like im becoming a psycho or something, and my brain keeps saying “that’s not bad so why are you worried about it” like wtf yes it is bad and i’m so tired of explaining why to it but like what if im losing my morals like im dizzy idk 😭
Hey friend! Sounds like you’re feeling pretty worried. What are you doing right now to calm yourself down? You may be experiencing a panic attack. I would know. I’ve been through the exact same thing you’re dealing with right now.
@Redknight Hi tysm for commenting 💖 Yea i’m worried right now and i just want to feel normal like other people, idk how to calm myself down i might play a story game i like to calm me down but everything triggers me now so idk.. and my ocd keeps telling me that bad things aren’t bad and it’s just made up and i feel like im losing my mind..? Like if i stop believing these things are bad what if i do them im so scared of that happening 😭😭
Omg it makes me feel so much better seeing other people struggling in the exact same way I am I wanna cry 😭 Don’t be worried ❤️❤️ You’re not losing your morals as someone who is currently going thru the same thing 😭😭❤️❤️
@Maddy718 Wait really i didn’t think someone was going through this 😭 thank you so much 💖
@Mevmd972 Omg me neither until I scrolled on this app! Ofc! 🫶🏻
OCD also makes you feel like you are the only one with it. You are not alone and I go through the same
@Tee81 Thank you so much 💖 Any advice on what i should do i feel like a horrible person?
@Mevmd972 Remember that you have to separate yourself from your mistakes and shortcomings. You are not a bad experience or mistake. You are you. You can change. You probably are a better person than you think. Sometimes our mind has a tendency to believe that we are less than we really are, but this belief is false. You may struggle and stumble along life’s path, but that’s normal. Maybe a good remedy for feeling like a terrible person is to go out and prove that you are good by reaching out or helping someone else. Your mind may try to make fun of you or bring you down for doing it, but doing good will reinforce the idea in your mind that you are actually a good person.
@Mevmd972 I 2nd what @redknight said. I’m still learning how to navigate my life with OCD, but small steps of proving that you are a good person can help. Remember we are not our thoughts.
Right now I feel like I am going to act on my thoughts, or like I’m capable of acting on them, or like if I liked my thoughts. But I don’t want to! Then why does it feel like I did or like I wanted them?? It’s really f*cked up bc it is confusing me and my intentions. And now I can’t no longer know the answer to that!! It’s really frustrating and distressing, sometimes I can be sure about the answer but sometimes I just can not and it’s the worst. I legit feel like I’m going to act on them, why do I feel like that?!! I feel like I’m turning into a psychopath!!😫
Hey so my therapist doesn’t know a lot about ocd and I think I might get a new one but she told me that during this time it’s normal to question “my morals” and now I’m scared I’m actually questioning my morals. I haven’t actually thought any questioning thoughts and now I’m scared that I am. I’m scared that I’m going to be okay with harming people, pedophilia, rape, etc. not to ask for reassurance but this is really hard. I’m constantly scared that I’m going to all of the sudden think those things are okay.
It’s probably desensitization but I’m scared I’m getting worse and worse. My morals feel like they’ve been hijacked and I’m scared I’m turning into a bad person. Nothing really disgusts me enough anymore. I’m so tired. When all of this started, I was still able to do things normally even if it felt like I had a weight on my head but it got better. Until I had an intrusive thought about looking for CSEM which has just gotten worse because it’s like it’s turned into an urge. I’m worried at some point (sooner or later), I’m gonna end up doing it. Or I have the scary thought of what if I want to and I’ll regret NOT ever seeing it which is also gross. And I’ve heard about people running into it on social media somehow which then triggers this screwed up sense of morbid curiosity about how that would even end up on social media without being flagged/removed and the thought of “what if you went looking for it there” - I just want it to stop!!! I feel like I can’t even live life now because the thought/urge is there every single day and I can’t escape. Nothing brings me joy - I’m empty all of the time. I can’t make myself play a game or watch a show because I can’t focus and I feel almost nothing towards them. And even if I did feel happy, it wouldn’t last long before being ripped away again. I’m worried I have some sort of addiction to be having this thought every day of “look for it, do it, you have to know” - but I shouldn’t? I’ve cut back immensely on a lot of NSFW stuff and what little I do see (like in books) doesn’t seem to trigger me. This thought actually started happening after multiple accounts of hearing people being prosecuted for having that sort of material (people talk about exes or husbands of friends and whatnot having done that and you also hear about famous people sometimes - it’s everywhere and I’m so sick of hearing about it all of the time because I’m worried I’m gonna end up BEING one of those people). It will not go away even if I stop paying it any mind and I’m frightened all the time now. I feel disgusting and I’m afraid I’m a horrible person. I feel cursed and I just want everything to go back to normal. I want to be disgusted and opposed again and it just isn’t happening! 😞 even now I feel like an imposter posting here because it doesn’t seem like OCD anymore, I’m just gross and out of control like some freak. I feel like I’m gonna have to cut my life short to avoid it happening (but I’m also too scared to do that and I WANT to live but it just feels like I won’t be able to “help myself” which is no excuse but that’s how it feels). I’m not gonna do it at the moment (like I said, I’m too scared) but it feels like I deserve it and it’s the only outcome for me. It feels like too much to do anything because what if I snap?? What if I get too curious?? I’m just so done with all of this - I feel like I’m gonna explode. And no amount of people saying “I don’t think you’ll do it” would make me feel better. I just don’t know what to do - I can’t get therapy, I can’t tell anyone. I’m so alone and it feels like mental torture
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