Terrified I have HIV but Idt health is my theme?

This is ruining my day to day life. I don’t think health related ocd is my theme but I do often get intense anxiety when I feel “off”. I was in a coma for 8 days due to grand mal seizure in 2020. So I’ve kind of chalked up my stress about my health to a sort of ptsd relating to that event since it came out of nowhere. I didn’t date and was fully celibate for over 2 years until this past may when I finally decided to start seeing someone. We had unprotected intercourse probably ten times and protected the rest. We ended things at the beginning of august. I met someone new (my current bf) who had a full STD panel done and was good. I had a partial one done and was good, I had plasma taken in October which I know tests for hiv (didn’t do it for that reason, didn’t even have this concern then) they never said I was positive but what if it was too soon? I was having nausea randomly the past few weeks. Not all day but at random times. I was googling knowing I’m not pregnant and read so much how that means you can have HIV. Reading this few articles has sent me into a spiral and is consuming my days. I can’t think about anything else. I’m so scared. I don’t think I have other symptoms but I know it can take time. Idk how to shake this. I can’t stop trying to go back and think of every time I ever coughed since may or everytime I had a runny nose or headache because what if it’s hiv? I feel disrespectful feeling this way because What if it’s not but it’s on a constant loop in my head. I’m terrified TERRIFIED to get tested and confirm my fears. I stayed at a waterpark with my family and following had a terrible itchy rash that the dr told me was scabies I contracted from our stay. I was the only one to get it. Could that have been HIV? I’m sick to my stomach daily over this

Roses2021

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Hi I feel for you! I mostly struggle with sexually intrusive thoughts but have had some really bad bouts about the HIV theme ET.

Overdramatic...

Date posted: 1y

@Roses2021 It feels terrifying. Thank you for the reply, I appreciate knowing I’m not alone

anonocd

Date posted: 1y

Googling stuff isn’t going to help. At some point you have to accept the risk that you have HIV. Based on the facts you provided, I bet it’s like 0.00000001% chance. You can choose to not accept that risk, but then you’re not allowed to accept higher risk things. No, you’re not allowed to be in a car for the rest of your life. And you certainly shouldn’t allow yourself to eat take out food, which could be poisoned! Accept the risks you want to accept. Or, you can *guarantee* that your life is ruined… with worry.

Overdramatic...

Date posted: 1y

@anonocd Thank you, you’re right. My theme is harm and I feel like I’ve done a good job recently in surrendering to the fears and accepting the anxiety and now this has popped up and I can’t tackle this one. I feel certain everyday I have it if I even have the slightest cough or body ache. This is exhausting

anonocd

Date posted: 1y

@Overdramaticoliver I’m sorry, I understand sometimes it can be so hard. It reminds me of this thing Jesus said: ”Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?“ ‭‭Luke‬ ‭12‬:‭25‬ ‭NIV‬‬ Try to distinguish “information gathering“ from “reassurance seeking”, and only allow yourself to do to former. In this case, you already have enough information to move forward in my opinion.

Munchie26

Date posted: 24w

Terrified partner will think I’ve cheated

I don’t know what to do I’ve been seeing this guy for roughly 4-5 months and I like him so much like he could be the one. He was in town for something for most of the time we’ve been seeing each other but he recently moved back to his state which is pretty far away. I’m absolutely terrified that I’m going to accidentally get an STD from somewhere like a toilet seat or the other day after taking the bus home I forgot to wash or sanitize my hands before wiping plus I’ve had coworkers and even my roommate admit that they’ve had chlamydia and one has HSV. I’m terrified that I’ll get something and he’ll think I cheated and we’ve both been hurt like that before and I wouldn’t want to put him through that or have him think that of me. I’ve been trying to not google anything or go to the doctors bc those are my compulsion and reassurance seeking things but nothing is helping it’s to the point I don’t want to use the bathroom or do anything does anyone have any tips to help it’s starting to effect my life I know this isn’t possible but I keep thinking it would just be my luck that I’d the odd one out it does happen to

Mika05

Date posted: 23w

Is pregnancy ocd even a theme?

I know this might sound silly but since I lost my virginity I'm constantly scared I'm pregnant even tho i have my periods. This month I didn't get it and every time a new month starts I say to myself if you don't get your period this month it means ur pregnant. Ps I haven't had any sexual activity for 6 months now and since then I got my periods except February. Also I've spent alot of money on blood test to confirm if I'm pregnant or not and all of them came back negative. Lastly I have bruises on my stomach cause everytime I wake up and I go to bed I press my abdomen hard to see if I can detect any abnormalities which indicate pregnancy. Anyways I'm not sure if this ocd or not since it feels dif that any other themes.

MisterNegative

Date posted: 23w

Testing worries.

So everything has been going well recently. The only thing pressing is for peace of mind I am getting STD tested on Wednesday morning and I am pretty anxious about what the result will say. I go to certain massage parlors that offer extras. And I have made a point to not engage in intercourse but other non-intercourse things I have done. I was afraid that since those women do other things with people that maybe virtual things were left on the beds I would lay down on or something. I told this to a doctor I saw recently and they said it was highly unlikely. But I still have the health worry. But we will see come Wednesday. The only reason I am going is because I went to the urologist and they wanted me to rule things out since I had what seemed like a UTI but it turned out to not be the case. What's a good way to not focus on catastrophizing the situation. I keep worrying that my life is over if I am diagnosed with something and my future relationships will be tainted or I'll put someones health in jeopardy

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Terrified I have HIV but Idt health is my theme?

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