I don't want "I don't deserve" thoughts anymore

I've been doing with real event ocd for some time now. I get "I don't deserve" thoughts about literally everything and I've had enough. They're still freaking there after so much time, and I've been practicing mindfulness, acceptance and exposure therapy. I'm tired of going through my life every 10 seconds "you don't deserve this" or "you don't deserve that", what's actually going to stop these thoughts. I know whatever you resist persists but common give me a break, there's got to be a better way.

Username: Coop16Coop16

Date posted: 49w ago

I am struggling with this as well. Some of the things I feel guilt over, I know I probably shouldn’t. However, there are some situations where I know I messed up and I know I should feel guilty about, but for how long? How long do I wait until I am deserving? Who is to decide?

Username: Nate_093Nate_093

Date posted: 49w ago

Exactly, nothing is ever good enough for ocd. I'm fine sitting with emotions now, but I'm concerned with is what's going to stop the "I don't deserve" thoughts as they're so automatic.

Username: number7number7

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 49w ago

I have false memory/real event ocd as well and I always get these undeserving thoughts, about my boyfriend because my ocd is strictly revolved around our relationship like “what if I did something wrong and I just don’t remember it” type. It’s hard to feel like you don’t deserve something. I still haven’t figured out how to make these feelings go away, but I just say maybe I do, maybe I don’t or I encourage myself that I do deserve his love! Maybe some positive affirmations or even some “maybe I do deserve this, maybe I don’t deserve this”.

Username: Nate_093Nate_093

Date posted: 49w ago

Yeah that's true, I just get scared about the positive affirmations becoming new compulsions.

Username: melissa71melissa71

Date posted: 49w ago

I understand it’s hard and discouraging and frightening. Currently in the middle of an exposure…actually since last night. I broke up w someone several times over the past years and he kept coming back, so I wasn’t strong enough to stick to my guns and decisions. I kept trying because I really hoped it could work. But now, I feel guilt over feelings that I strung him along, even though he knew I had doubts. He is now living w his love and happy and I’m still guilty. I feel foolish and like a fool, because he was so unbelievably cruel to me when we tried (or I tried) to be friends. I feel like an idiot suffering over him when he cares nothing for me. I couldn’t sleep last night and I’m afraid it’ll happen again tonight. I’m afraid this is going to take me down. 🤦‍♀️ I’d like some encouragement please

Username: Nate_093Nate_093

Date posted: 49w ago

Hi Melissa, sounds like you're like me, I have some sleep anxiety as well. Sleep anxiety as annoying because it superchargers the ocd. Try not to focus on tonight's sleep just the here and now, I know it's easier said than done. As for the obsessing, I'm not 100% qualified myself, but from what I understand, ocd is like a toddler, the more you giver it attention the more it will play up. I know this is hard because it's exactly what I'm struggling with at the moment too, but try to deprive the ocd of attention. I've been down this path, and the ocd will start kicking and screaming wondering why you're not giving it attention. It's literally like a toddler. Also have you got a therapist?

Username: melissa71melissa71

Date posted: 49w ago

I do…I just feel like such an idiot feeling guilty when he was so cruel to me after we broke up the last time. I’ve learned my lesson but the ocd is latching onto feelings that I strung him along. I’m just sad over the whole thing and I truly wish I never met him

Username: Nate_093Nate_093

Date posted: 49w ago

Ocd uses guilt, it's the best tool that ocd has. I've been feeling overly guilty for years now (not saying that you're going to). It will also twist and manipulate memories until you're the bad guy. Try not to beat yourself up, one thing I've found that really helps is self compassion, have a hot shower, get a massage, eat something healthy. Give yourself some love, it will help trust me. Just don't listen to the ocd trying to make you feel guilty about it. And definitely try get in to see your therapist about this

Username: melissa71melissa71

Date posted: 49w ago

Thank you. Guilt is a big theme w me. I hope I can find compassion for myself and continue my focus to make this year the best. I’m scared

Username: Nate_093Nate_093

Date posted: 49w ago

It's ok to be scared, being scared and fearful is a natural part of life. I'm scared too, hang in there and we can get through this together.

Username: cherryCAKE

Date posted: 4y ago

i’m so sorry for posting so much but i just want to know if this sounds like ocd? basically when i’m ruminating over something that happened for example when i was struggling with real event ocd what bothered me the most was that i felt like i couldn’t let myself enjoy anything, like i had to suffer for eternity, i’d get thoughts like “you don’t deserve to walk, eat, sleep, drink, watch tv, listen to music” etc. and if i did those things i’d get pangs of anxiety, it keeps happening to me and it makes me so depressed and miserable i feel like i don’t even deserve to be myself or talk to friends sometimes and sometimes if i touch something like a glass for example my brain goes you don’t deserve to know the concept of what a glass is. I know it sounds completely crazy and i feel so alone because i haven’t seen anyone else that deals with thoughts like this :( can i get over it?

Username: Nate_093

Date posted: 1y ago

Scared my ocd is unbeatable

I've had an OCD flare that limited my life significantly. I had I don't deserve to think or to feel happy emotions and this literally made me feel trapped like there was no way I could come through this. I couldn't even think! Anyway 5 weeks later, I'm exhausted and the I don't deserve thoughts are still hammering me every 5 seconds about everything!. I just need to know I guess that there's a way out of this and I can get my life back. I'm sitting on the couch everyday not doing much because that's all my OCD will allow me to do. I'm also scared I guess of this OCD flare, I've never felt that trapped by my own brain before and I'm having a hard time moving on knowing this side of my OCD exists. I start therapy tomorrow, but one thing I would like to know, is there a way through this?

Username: Nate_093

Date posted: 1y ago

Mentally cornered

I don't know what to do anymore nothing I do to try and get over this real event ocd helps. My day goes like this - 4am, wake up in sudden panic attacks where it's near impossible to get back to sleep. - The I don't deserve thoughts start instantly eg I don't deserve to relax/sleep, I don't deserve to have thoughts, I don't deserve the sound of the birds outside, I don't deserve anything really. - Following this depression kicks off and because I feel down it makes the "I don't deserve thoughts totally believable. - I start to mentally punish myself - I try to break the cycle by doing this things anyway, but this takes so much energy. Something I have limited of in the first place due to lack of sleep. - The rest of the day continues with my moods going up and down like a roller coaster. - Later in the day I start to panic, as I know the anxiety attack that inevitably awaits the next morning. - I spiral into hopelessness wondering what is actually going to stop my head. I start looking for answers (do I contact the guy that I hurt?). - I try to be functional for my partner in life, but I fail and constantly break down crying. - I try to enjoy a bit of tv before bed before medicating and going to bed stressed knowing this is about to start again tomorrow. I'm not sure where to go from here people, I'm quickly running out of energy and will power to deal with this groundhog day effect, I need to see results!. My psychologist keeps trying to dig through my past and she doesn't understand ocd whatsoever. I'm tempted to go up the hospital, but they're just going to drug me up and send me home despite having no understanding of ocd as well... I'm literally cornered... I've got no options. I just wait around all day waiting for something to give and if I keep going down this path it's going to be my mind and body. Has anyone else been where I am and can offer some advice?

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I don't want "I don't deserve" thoughts anymore

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