Hey, guys. So, I feel like a lot of my scrupulosity ocd is emotions/feelings. Like, I get these impressions and feelings of being evil. I really feel like I am whatever I’m afraid of being in that moment. And I’m really confused by this, since ocd is about thoughts, right? Is that how it is for you guys too?
Emotions and thoughts are both internal experiences, and although there’s a clear difference between them, i wouldn’t be able to tell exactly where one begins and where the other ends within the space both share. That being said, yeah, intrusiveness does take the form of thoughts, but it can also transform itself into sensations and emotions — that’s true for many folks experiencing somatic OCD, for example.
It absolutely includes feelings.
Sorry you are going through this. I have had 8 different themes and Scrupulosity has been the hardest. It attacks the thing that is supposed to bring you the most peace. I have never questioned my faith like this. And yes I feel I am possessed and evil. I also have thoughts that I dont want to accept Christ or go to heaven. Scary stuff.
@Ryan Mullen I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. 🧡
I'm not saying that all of these thoughts are spiritual in nature, b/c I think they are almost all OCD....but the long winded answer is yes - I think your experience is very common. One of my favorite quotes about this is (by Hannah Whitall Smith): It seems hardly worthwhile to say that temptation is not sin, and yet much distress arises from not understanding this fact. The very suggestion of wrong seems to bring pollution with it; and the poor tempted soul begins to feel as if it must be very bad indeed, and very far off from God, to have had such thoughts and suggestions. It is as though a burglar should break into a man’s house to steal, and, when the master of the house begins to resist him and to drive him out, should turn round and accuse the owner of being himself the thief. It is the enemy’s grand ruse for entrapping us. He comes and whispers suggestions of evil to us, – doubts, blasphemies, jealousies, envyings, and pride, and then turns round and says, “Oh, how wicked you must be to think of such things! It is very plain that you are not trusting the Lord; for if you had been, it would have been impossible for these things to have entered your heart.” This reasoning sounds so very plausible that we often accept it as true, and so come under condemnation, and are filled with discouragement. FYI - I wrote a book called "Waging War Against OCD - A Christian Approach to Victory." You can see more details at WagingWarAgainstOCD.com
Thank you, guys! I appreciate all the comments. 🧡
Sometimes I have thoughts that I would normally assume to be ocd, not sound like ocd. I start to think/feel that it's God telling me to do these things?? I then end up feeling guilty for not immediately implementing these things into my life. I hate that so much of what used to feel like ocd seems unclear. I don't feel like a good person. I know a lot of sermons aren't made with ocd in mind, but I feel like I'm not listening to God if I don't listen to thoughts I would've thought were ocd before
Hello! I was wondering if people with religious or moral scrupulosity can relate to this! I identify as gay (I’ve known it since I was a preteen) and I grew up in a religiously conservative household and in a culture that does not accept the LGBT community. Growing up, I’ve made a lot of progress in accepting myself and learning to love myself for who I am despite the lack of acceptance and support from my cultural and family background. …however, it has obviously been a tough road. And recently, I think I’ve started developing scrupulosity around my sexuality. Basically, I wanted to rediscover my faith in a way that helped me, but it ended up just causing me a lot of distress because the LGBT are not exactly affirmed by the Catholic Church. And despite my best efforts, I feel like I’ve slid so far back into a pit of guilt, shame, and disgust with myself. I have so many intrusive thoughts that being LGBT is not natural, is not right, is something that can and should be changed or fixed, even when I know these to not be true. I’m curious to know if anyone else with religious or moral scrupulosity experiences similar feelings of guilt or shame about who they are. Not only do the intrusive thoughts themselves make me feel guilty, but I have intrusive thoughts that I AM bad and that I should feel shame and disgust about myself. I’m hesitant to post this not only because I don’t want to trigger others but also because I don’t want it to be reassurance seeking or a compulsion, but I do have doubt that this isnt just from my OCD and that I should be exploring other forms of therapy to deal with these problems.
Does anyone ever get confused of what’s an actual conviction versus the OCD instilling fear/ guilt? Sometimes it’s hard for me to discern the difference
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