Feel like I may have done something that has harmed someone. I’ve been doing all the research on the legality today and even talked to the person about it and they said they don’t really care. It was 4 years ago and I can’t find anything about the statute of limitations on the crime so I feel like I should just tell the police now :(
Don’t let your thoughts take over. They will pass. The person you think you harmed told you they don’t care and they aren’t thinking about the situation ?
@anxioushotgirl Its hard to understand this fully not knowing what it is you think you did but I’m sure knowing the disease or disorder whatever you want to call OCD your probably the only one thinking about this still. OCD is crazy I use to think I was a terrible person and once asked my therapist why he didn’t want to lock me up and why he wasn’t afraid of me bc OCD makes you afraid of yourself and makes you afraid that you’ve harmed someone or will be arrested and all of that it makes you fear worst case scenario at all times.
Ok you have to calm down you’re going to make yourself crazy ! from what I’m hearing this sounds like a whole dialogue that’s going on inside your head making you loose it. I’ve been there it’s scary you have convinced yourself that you have partaken in child P. You just went from 0 to 100 on something it seems like you haven’t thought about in forever. It doesn’t sound like you have done anything wrong to me. Is the person you sent a pic of the person you’re still dating ? And it was mostly covered ? And you were 17 and they were around the same age ?
@anxioushotgirl Well I hope from an outsiders perspective and someone with OcD it makes you feel a little better to know that it doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong at all and nothing is going to come from this in the future. I don’t think you did anything wrong but furthermore I don’t think a 17 yr old is getting in trouble for child P of another 17 year old bc your either both children or both adults and you’ve been dating this person 4 years. This is just the disorder getting the best of you. I’ve convinced myself of way wilder things than your telling me. I’ve made myself believe terrible things about myself that were never true. Please try to believe everything is going to be ok and try to put this to rest so you can find some peace and move on from it. There’s nothing about this story that’s bad or anymore than just some 17 year old kids messing around and doing stuff we all do at 17.
You shouldn’t be locked up ! You didn’t commit any crimes. Even if it was showing everything the person is the same age as you and is dating you 4 years later. The only thing I would say you did wrong if that was the case and everything was really exposed like you could see it all would be that your partner could’ve been mad that you did that and that’s only if everything was showing but they are not mad and you didn’t commit any crimes even if you could see everything which it doesn’t sound like anyway. You did nothing wrong enjoy your relationship and try to accept that this is your mind obsessing and your feelings that your having aren’t reality. They may feel real to you but your safe and okay and nothing bad is going to happen even if the friend from 4 years ago leaked this picture nothings happening and I’m sure that’s not happening anyway. No one is thinking about this except you.
Less than a year ago, I had a very big anxiety flare up to the point that I felt as though I needed to report to the police / harm myself. I ended up leaving an anonymous tip at the police hotline about something that I know I didn’t even do but everything told me I had to or else I will go to jail. And similarly after that I called the help line and explained I had unwanted intrusive thoughts and I didn’t think I deserved to live for having those thoughts. After these many months and working with my therapist, I’ve been able to feel a lot less anxious around this topic and now I’m getting lots of anxiety about what I did that time when I was so anxious. I gave in to my compulsions and confessed for stuff that I know sounds bad saying out loud but only certain people will understand I would never do. So now I’m just looking for someone to relate and perhaps let me know that I don’t have anything to worry about? I know it’s bad to seek reassurance but I’m not sure where to go. And I’m worried I’m going to keep incriminating myself.
Can someone talk with me? I know I posted a lot about this and I want to stop.I know only a therapist will tell me what to do..But please..can someone give me some advice? I am scared I did something horrible.I didnt help a kid 3 years ago.I feel like I left them in danger.I am so sorry.The worst is I didnt helped in all these years.I want to tell the kid I am sorry but I dont want to make them remember.I got terrible thoughts and I still have them and I feel like I betrayed them and still betray them.Bcs I didnt help and bcs of the thoughts.I dont know but I think about what happened.and how terrible it was..especially because they told me and I didnt help.I dont know why I think that but I feel like a monster.I met with them today and with their parents (which I feel like I betrayed them too) and I talked with them.but i was very anxious and I am scared their parents judge me .I want to help now..but idk how.Is it too late? I am scared I want to help just because I feel guilty.I want to live in the present and do something now but my mind makes me think of the past..Any advice? Thank you
This might be a bit disturbing but it’s been weighing on my mind. From all the posts I’ve made, I’ve talked about how I was influenced at a young age and saw things I shouldn’t have seen. A lot of it. I can’t remember much because it’s blurry and all muddy and in different timelines. Sometimes I genuinely don’t understand why I would do such a thing or how I could and I would constantly overanalyse things from the past. These things lead me to do things to myself out of trying to understand and curiosity and mimicking actions like kissing others in preschool. I made stupid mistakes I can’t take back and it weighs on me a lot. I don’t and can’t remember so much honestly but when I was at the age of 8, I inappropriately touched someone and it wasn’t out of harm but to understand why. What I did was wrong and the whole context of the situation is messed up but I knew to a certain degree it was wrong ( I spoke to this to my therapist who was very understanding and told me these things happen a lot when kids are young ) I remember at the time I felt guilt and realised I wanted to be a good person. I thought I was dammed for what I did and there was no coming back for me but I remember apologising to them and never doing it again. I had to keep this with me for so many years and it broke me a lot. I matured and realised my actions, spent time crying, thinking that maybe I shouldn’t be here, and was filled with a lot of shame and guilt with nobody to be there or know about this. I didn’t tell anyone because I was scared. I was scared to also be badly punished but eventually as time passed, the person passed away and nobody knew about the story. This year I began opening up and for the first time I opened up to people about this because I wasn’t doing good mentally and spent days—months ruminating, panicking, and thinking I was a monster for everything. I never thought I would but it was with people I trust who loved and accepted me. I told them the situation and how I felt. I told my therapist briefly and she told me we could continue this convo the next time and that I didn’t have to tell her everything but… It didn’t make sense to me. I felt like I needed to confess everything or else I was a fraud. I do definitely care about their justice ( justice overall ) for what happened to them regardless of them not being here and I’m beyond sorry that something like this happened to them because of my stupidity when I was younger. I try my best to be understanding and compassionate to myself but sometimes it’s all filled with hatred and shame and guilt but I’m trying. People say confessing makes things worst. I feel like this is something that needs to be confessed but Ive already admitted my actions, regrets and told others about this but yet it’s still there . I’m not an angel but I do know, these stupid past mistakes have made me more empathetic to people and not wanting things like this to happen to anyone. As I’ve grown I’ve realised how these things can distort your view of reality at a young age because now as I’m older, I understand so much more than my younger self would. Sometimes I don’t know what to say. I don’t know why I did certain things and people at my age were probably more matured and smarter than me. A lot of things happen in different timelines but I’ve matured so much and I understand my mistakes and the impact. I feel safe to talk about this to my therapist or here but to my family and others.. I don’t know what to say. I’ve made so many stupid mistakes and feel like I need to confess everything. I didn’t want to ever talk about this to anyone because I didn’t want to make things worst for people. This happened so many years back and I just didn’t want to bring the past into the present. I know that I have no right to really suggest this because that person was a victim. I don’t know what I should do. Confess? Or let it be in the past? I mean my therapist and close friends know about this.
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