- Date posted
- 1y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
Thanks for sharing a positive step in your recovery. I described it as feeling "sober" once I began to notice a positive direction. Once I was in that place, I could process the event that was difficult for me, it was real event OCD. Then I was able to process the emotions, recognize my responsibility, and move towards self forgiveness and healing from the guilt. We're extremely hard on ourselves, just part of the OCD. Just understand that we all make mistakes throughout our lives, be kind to yourself (borrowing your nickname:-)). Not sure if you're religious or not, but forgiveness is something offered us by God when we ask. Forgiving ourselves is more about accepting forgiveness from God, which takes a little humility.
- Date posted
- 1y
I'm proud of you! And happy to hear you are doing better. I hope you are able to allow yourself to feel empowered. As for the sexual intrusive thoughts you fear might come up and cause guilt, I've found that I can mitigate the guilt with anger. Anger can be a healthy emotion, because it is the emotion that protects you and makes you take action to keep yourself well (even if it doesn't always feel like it). At least for me, because I have felt really guilty most of my life, anger was very hard for me to feel and experience much less express outwardly. Guilt made me feel small but anger helped me learn to take up more space. If that is something that might be a good path for you, maybe you could talk more about it to your therapist!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
- Date posted
- 15w
Does anyone else experience a moment of clarity where you feel strong relief that the intrusive thought isn’t true, only to then immediately start questioning if you’ve only convinced yourself that because you don’t want the thought to be true? I’m pretty confident it would take some crazy mental gymnastics to actually successfully convince myself I didn’t do something that I deep down knew I did, but every time I resist the compulsions and try to sit with the uncertainty or tell myself to think about what is logical, I usually briefly know that this probably didn’t happen but am unable to move on out of fear I’m just in denial and have convinced myself of that.
- Date posted
- 11w
i feel like i have been posting a lot about this and i will try to stop since now but i just don't know where to start or what to do, and i can't take therapy right now either. my event is about something that did actually happen; i had a boyfriend and we had a 1.5 age difference (i know this sounds stupid) but the thing is that we both started to sext a lot since he was 14 and i was 15. we shared audios videos pictures ect and i don't know how to just let this go, even when i know that i never really forced him into anything and i was always constantly worried about him being comfortable, when to stop and ect. the memories keep coming back to my mind and the guilt is eating me up slowly because i keep thinking that i'm a predator or a groomer or something like that. i don't know how to deal with the what ifs either, lately i haven't stopped thinking what if i sexually harassed or sexually exploited him or something like that. how do i deal with the cycle of guilt and constant what ifs if i also feel like my event is worse than others i've seen? please help me with this. it's getting a lil tiring and even if somedays i know how to deal with this, i still get really triggered sometimes. this wouldn't even bother me before, i wish i could just get back in time before this theme popped into my mind. my life has been a hell since then and i live constantly scared and suicidal.
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