- Date posted
- 1y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
Thanks for sharing a positive step in your recovery. I described it as feeling "sober" once I began to notice a positive direction. Once I was in that place, I could process the event that was difficult for me, it was real event OCD. Then I was able to process the emotions, recognize my responsibility, and move towards self forgiveness and healing from the guilt. We're extremely hard on ourselves, just part of the OCD. Just understand that we all make mistakes throughout our lives, be kind to yourself (borrowing your nickname:-)). Not sure if you're religious or not, but forgiveness is something offered us by God when we ask. Forgiving ourselves is more about accepting forgiveness from God, which takes a little humility.
- Date posted
- 1y
I'm proud of you! And happy to hear you are doing better. I hope you are able to allow yourself to feel empowered. As for the sexual intrusive thoughts you fear might come up and cause guilt, I've found that I can mitigate the guilt with anger. Anger can be a healthy emotion, because it is the emotion that protects you and makes you take action to keep yourself well (even if it doesn't always feel like it). At least for me, because I have felt really guilty most of my life, anger was very hard for me to feel and experience much less express outwardly. Guilt made me feel small but anger helped me learn to take up more space. If that is something that might be a good path for you, maybe you could talk more about it to your therapist!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
This might contain triggering content, but I'm also wondering if others have dealt with this similar thought, and if so, how to deal with it? Overall, I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm able to eat again, which I hadn't been able to do because of how much anxiety I'd been experiencing. I'm spending time around loved ones and not just rotting in my room, and I've been able to wake up without immediately being bombarded by intrusive thoughts. When things first got really bad, I'd wake my mom up every night for reassurance, but I haven't done that in a while either. I'm really proud of myself, but there's still this nagging thought in my mind... While looking through others posts on here, hoping to find advice that'd fit my situation, I ended up making things worse. Someone mentioned how they had a fear that they'd purposely search for illegal content (related to POCD). I panicked, and "what ifs" flooded my thoughts. "What if the intrusive thoughts affect who I am as a person, and I do that?" I'm terrified that I'll search for those things, which I know means I wouldn't do it. But then, another person on here said they'd actually looked for those things, and that freaked me out even more. Does that mean it's possible for that to happen to me? I don't want to do that, but I keep having intrusive thoughts surrounding it. I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm just... stuck. I don't know what to do. I've spoken with other people who have the same fears, but how do I manage this? It's not something I've even thought about before seeing those posts. I've been practicing accepting the uncertainty, but I'm really struggling with this one. I hate this. This morning, I woke up, and the intrusive thoughts were back. It's just disheartening.
- Date posted
- 22w
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
- Date posted
- 13w
Does anyone else experience a moment of clarity where you feel strong relief that the intrusive thought isn’t true, only to then immediately start questioning if you’ve only convinced yourself that because you don’t want the thought to be true? I’m pretty confident it would take some crazy mental gymnastics to actually successfully convince myself I didn’t do something that I deep down knew I did, but every time I resist the compulsions and try to sit with the uncertainty or tell myself to think about what is logical, I usually briefly know that this probably didn’t happen but am unable to move on out of fear I’m just in denial and have convinced myself of that.
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